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My imaginary friend Daphne has been writing to me again, needing more advice about fitting in here. Since she arrived in France at the beginning of the year I’ve been helping her out with dinner etiquette, language problems and other technical points, today she has a problem that’s more …. well let’s just say that’s getting bigger!
My darling Daphne
How lovely to hear from you again ma chérie, I was beginning to think that you’d forgotten all about me; that I was too provincial for you in my country home while you’re in your chic Versailles apartment.
No surprise though, to hear what’s troubling you this time! Your petites rondeurs, tes kilos en trop, tes poignées d’amour – yup, you’ve been hitting the french cuisine since you got here last spring and it’s all gone to your hips. Très classique!!
What you need is to start acting like a French girl – surely you’ve noticed how runner-bean thin they all are in Versailles.
There is no easy way around this ma chérie, you’ve got to change some basic habits:
The little boulangerie at the end of your street may make fantastic macarons, great croissant and amazing home made chocolates, but for a while the only way you should enjoy them is with your eyes! You heard me …. I know you see French women buying them, but that doesn’t mean they’ll eat them. They gift macarons and chocolates at dinner parties, they buy croissant and pain au chocolat for their children’s 4 pm snack and fancy cakes for a family gathering but they don’t touch a crumb!
Even the delicious baguette will only be eaten in small bites, la française is unlikely to eat a whole portion of bread with her meal.
Wine – yes, I know it’s wonderful stuff, it’s sociable to drink and I know that your husband has an impressive wine cellar, but if you keep an eye on your French girlfriends they drink little. Even at a chic dinner where there is different wine served with each course. It’s all about moderation.
However, this doesn’t meant you should cut down on the lunches with girlfriends: très important to be in on the news, to be seen out and about. Just do as they do: eat salad and fish; drink sparkling water ; no dessert and a couple of strong coffees. The beauty of this is that you’ll sit down and take your time, you’ll eat slowly because you’ll be chatting, and all that with very few calories.
Now, I hope Daphne that you’re not using your car each day. You’re in town, you need to walk or to use those wonderful bikes you can rent by the hour all over Paris.
Finally, I’ll leave you with a word of advice I heard a French girlfriend pass on recently to another friend who was complaining that she had put on one whole kilo! “You need a poor, young lover” she said, dead serious. The girl just nodded in agreement, the logic of her friend’s advice obviously crystal clear. “Poor and young?” I asked, “why’s that so important?” they smiled at me indulgently, “well,” the first replied, “if he’s poor he’ll be living in some 6th floor garret without a lift, and if he’s young then you’ll be motivated to get up there to join him …you know, … double the exercise!!”
Food for thought, darling you have to admit!
Let’s meet up soon and have a long chat over a …. mineral water,
[blank]
your friend
S
44 comments
So so true. Fabulous advice. If only it was easy to follow (smile) with all that cheese and wine everywhere…
Sam
Hi Sharon. What a delightful post with delectables right up my alley and mine hips…sigh..so much cheese and wine and so little time!
Veronica
xx
Tassels and Twigs
Daphne is very fortunate indeed. If only I had such sage advice ten years ago when I arrived in France! Each year=one kilo. Sigh. You do the math!
Love it! Moderation is key in EVERYTHING!
xox
Ja, ja, ja….
🙂
Markus
What a good friend you are to Daphne! Now I know why I was never a "rail thin" French girl before immigrating to the United States 😉 I hard a really hard time resisting those pains au chocolat and pâtisseries when visiting the local boulangerie. Even though I walked everywhere (I did not own or need a car in Paris for most of my 10 years there,) I would occasionally go for dessert while having lunch with my girlfriend, and always chose a "salade gourmande" over the boring "salade verte". Ah! Thanks for clarifying Sharon. Veronique (French Girl in Seattle)
Oh I so agree…
you've mentioned everything that i have read in my French books on lifestyle and eating!
merci beacoup!
Fabulous advice. 🙂
Oh so true.
Lest one forget…parking the car the furthest away possible to have to walk and always the stairs, never elevators for less than 5 floors.
Ooooh I like this diet advice especially the last bit. 😉
Love this post Sharon! fortunately I'm one of those girls that doesn't gain a kilo no matter what I eat, how many chocolates a day or how much bread, I can eat pasta every day, heavy cream with my coffee and all the cookies I want, I guess I'm very fortunate to have this kind of "genetics" May be if I move to France then I will start gaining some kilos with all that delicious food. Have a fantastic day!
XXX Ido
All true! And by vaguely tuning in I've lost 4 kilos (and counting) since moving to France, so it is kind of catching. Even without the last factor…
Hmmmm, six flights up. (I swear, I just typed sex flights up).
Let's discuss this over wine and not eat. Does that work for you?
xoxo,
Tish
Oh yes!
There's a famous quote out there that says "Nothing tastes as good as the feeling of being thin" ok I've tweaked it a bit, but I think it must have been said by someone French…I've always wondered how they resist all the deliciousness that they see everyday!
What a fun post – thanks.
How true all of your advice to Daphne is! I remember moving to Paris right after university with a few kilos en trop which I lost in no time – none of my American friends believed that living in Paris could make one svelte! (Of course, the walk from my apartment past the Eiffel Tower, up the chic Avenue Montaigne and past all of the designer's shops, to work helped a lot!)
Clever and charming post! 🙂
i lovvvvved this post! being a girl who loves food but has also recently learned how to achieve a smaller wasteline this has been an unresolved puzzle to me! it's watching those calories!!! always ~ thank you for the insight into the beautiful french world!
blessings,
olivia
Now how about a book of these letters to Daphne – very readable, full of humor, and even better than Mireille's books.
I found that as much as I walk, I can eat just about anything and not gain weight.
But then, I am not a meat eater and I actually love salads so I am sure that helps.
When in Paris, I eat the same way I eat at home.. pretty much one meal a day .. I wear a size 4 and worry about visiting the US, where I will eat those huge servings they give you and grow too big for all my clothes 🙂
This post is priceless!!! Love it! Now I really know what my eyes are for…just to enjoy looking at food with!!! My mouth, well simply talking about all the french cousine! I am going to try this new french diet and will keep ma cherie posted as to my chic tummy, thighs, arms and derriere! Hugs…Brenda from Texas!!! LOL
Fabulous… made me smile.
Thanks
Jo x
Eliza Interiors & Design
Oddly, I have never gained weight while in France or Italy, and I can assure you it's not the walking. I exercise in LA much more than that. I find this to be true with many friends who go to Europe on a regular basis. But, back in the US, kilos go on. Something weird here.
Right now, I'm on the Dukan – I HATE it, although I've lost 4 lbs in 4 days. It's not a realistic way to eat, only that I wanted to lose a few kilos fast before a party this Saturday night.
I've got to do what you're suggesting here, after this. And of course, I'm joining you and Tish for some wine, and no food – wherever in the world we meet.
You speak the truth. My french friend picks at her food and her wine and the one little piece of bread at dinner — well, it lasts the entire meal and there is some left at the end.
My question is: is it easier or harder to eat like les femmes francaise when you live there? As a visitor, I "justify" my piggish tendencies by telling myself there just isn't bread, croissants, butter, -everything- at home that compares.
How do French women stay slim? Your readers might like this commercial!
https://bit.ly/olX5WX
Quite creative, I think.
I enjoy your blog…
🙂
Guess I better remain a visitor to Paris. Because, we all know, there are zero calories in vacation food. 😉
i am living all wrong!
i need moderation and a poor, young paramour!
great story sharon
xo
debra
Life long suspicion confirmed !
😉 😀 (for the entire length of a page).
Still have to opt for a different solution since I hate fuss (included with young lovers 🙂 !)
Love,
Gerlinde
Hello Sharon
Fish, salad and water for lunch. "If that's all there is, then let's keep dancing".
Great post
Helenxx
Great advice for all of us…especially we Yankees!
Karen
Sharon
Could you please publish a book of all your letters to Daphne. I trust she takes all you wonderful advice on French etiquete and how to do as the French do. Promise I'll buy the first copy.
I agree, a book 'Letters to Daphne' is a great idea! And very good advice it is too, especially when it will keep Daphne you and slim, and the rest of us smiling 🙂
Did you receive the Pinterest invite yet? If not please email me.
"a poor, young lover" hahaha! This made me giggle!
~ Clare x
such a lovely letter, made me smile, no laugh, very early in the morning…
It is incredibly difficult to resist all the delicious temptations in France. Self discipline is essential and the French seem to have so much with regards to clothes as well as food. I am attempting to learn from them.
More great advice for dear old Daph. Would love to see her profile page on RSVP.com!
Millie xx
Sharon you are on my blog list for my followers and I know they are checking you out1 but today i had a little extra time on my hands while making jam! and got lost in your blog! You are definitely sitting smack bang in the middle of my dinner table!
thank you! you are a breath of fresh air xxx bee
So funny but now I feel like a deflated balloon…in my own little fantasy for so long, and I may want to keep it that way, I was sure French women indulged in great wines wiht every dinner, ate croissants every morning, rich chesse and baguettes as an afternoon snack, took a car everywhere they went………AND had a young poor lover!!
LOL…FUN!
I agree with Lorrie – a little book of those letters to Daphne would be just the thing to entertain all the women worldwide who mentally live in Paris, and rightly so.
Eat till you are"'elegantly satisfied" and never full, and Daphne shall return to her slim and gorgeous looks in no time!
And if is she does decide to take up with a 'poor, young lover' then tell her to add ginseng and saffron to her diet – the University of Guleph (Ontario, Canada) – have completed a scientific review and these two spices are proven performance boosters!! A little spice in your life goes a long way!!!
Mineral water? No fun! Cheese and wine for everyone! Life is too short….(though moderation is key!).
Stacey
Daphne is so lucky to have a friend like you showing her the ropes. But the beauty of your advice is that it can work anywhere in the world.
When Daphne looses the extra kilo(s), she must go and buy something very chic.
It was really nice to study your post. I collect some good points here. I would like to be appreciative you with the hard work you have made in skill this is great article.
My name really is Daphne. Just wondering why you chose that name for your imaginary friend. I’ve always liked the name Sharon myself.
Daphne in Texas