looking good – it’s all in the mind …..

by Sharon Santoni

portrai Catherine Deneuve

I have  been touring France over the summer, with a photographer, ‘harvesting’ images for the book.  On the way I have learned a lot about taking photos of course, but more unexpectedly I have learned more about the art of having your picture taken!

I notoriously, and absolutely, hate having my picture taken!  While I love the idea of having a nice photo of myself, I so hate the process of being in front of a lens that I freeze up and the resulting shot is unusable.  I don’t think I am alone here ….

So as we worked through our photo shoots during the past few months, taking shots of homes, of countryside, but also of people, I observed closely how some are more at ease than others with a camera pointed at them.

The French have an expression ‘être bien dans sa peau’  which translates to ‘being comfortable in your own skin’.   This is definitely a major factor.  A woman or a man who is happy with their body shape and size, will automatically be more relaxed.  This doesn’t mean that they think they are top models, it just denotes a self confidence and ease that makes everything so easy.

portrait Fanny Ardant

French women are particularly good at making the most of what they have, and appearing to be comfortable with the result.  For our photos nobody ever said they needed to go to the hairdressers or have help with make up, the women simply liked to appear natural and at ease, because that is considered to be more attractive than lashings of make up and hair lacquer.

Interestingly, the men we photographed were totally unconcerned by the risk of their image being unflattering, but they were very careful to look tidy, in whatever way they thought appropriate.  This was a matter of self-esteem, but also of respect for our work, which I found very touching.

And then beyond the innate self confidence of most of our models, now and again we came across a subject who could actually give herself to the camera.  My photographer called it succumbing, or surrendering to the lens.  And this is a quality that left me wide-mouthed in admiration.

That moment when the person could look at the lens, and let the photographer ‘see inside’ is quite fascinating.  Even after thousands of camera clicks, I still don’t entirely understand how it happens.  There is a moment when the model abandons herself, a moment of trust, a moment of shared pleasure, with the common aim of producing a fine picture.

portrait Jeanne Moreau

And so I was wondering about you and the lens ….. do you like or hate to have your picture taken. Do you think it is just a gift, you either have it or you don’t?

And if you have any advice for a girl who is making a career out of ruining otherwise excellent pictures, then I am listening!

Wishing you a wonderful weekend, wherever in the world you maybe … oh, and if you’re having your picture taken, don’t forget to smile!

 

 

photos of Catherine Deneuve, Fanny Ardant and Jeanne Moreau found on tumblr

51 comments

Karena September 19, 2014 - 1:20 pm

Sharon, first I am not sure I have mentioned how excited I am about your book! Cannot wait!

I have always had this idea that I do not photography well….who knows where this came from. It is all about self talk and you are right, being comfortable with our looks, ourselves! Something for me to work on!

Have a great weekend!

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Sharon Santoni September 19, 2014 - 4:44 pm

Thank you for the encouragement for the book Karena, I am very excited too! All the photos are completed now, I’m writing the texts, and it will be published this time next year!

If you find the secret for being comfortable in photos, just let me know

Sharon

xx

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Pat September 20, 2014 - 10:45 am

Years ago a photographer “tricked” me.
He said “I want you to look directly at the lense.”

I did.

Then, when I wasn’t expecting it he said “What’s your favorite dessesrt?”

OF COURSE I went to chocolate.

He clicked the button at that exact moment.

Can I say BEST picture ever taken of me.

Just think about dessert.

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Pat @ Life At Lydias House September 19, 2014 - 1:21 pm

I am with you Sharon, I can’t stand having my picture made and may possibly be the most “unphotogenic” person on earth! You would not believe how many pictures we have where my eyes are half open and half closed like some kind of zombie. I would love to develop some skills in this area!!

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Sharon Santoni September 19, 2014 - 4:45 pm

Oh yes I would Pat, because I do that too! Bonjour from a fellow zombie!

xx

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Katherine September 19, 2014 - 1:24 pm

You are right – the trick is to relax and be comfortable with who we are. Some of the best pictures are the ones where we are caught off guard and just being ourselves.
I had to take pictures recently to do a post on the progress of my Invisalign braces. I felt incredible with my new smile, so happy. But when I had to do the pictures I became such a critic about my appearance. I kept my daughters voice in my head – she tells me to just relax.
A big part of it is speaking to the camera with your eyes – even if you don’t look at the lens directly. Charm the camera and be your wonderful self.

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Sharon Santoni September 19, 2014 - 4:46 pm

You are right about the off guard pictures Katherine, they are the only ones of me I can ever stand to look at … and not even all of those!

Next time I’ll try to charm the camera

xx

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La Contessa September 19, 2014 - 1:25 pm

Lets just say I ENJOY IT!It is what it is………..I have two flaws, the double chin and the tummy!I love to have the memory of the moment………sometimes I think OH GOSH when did that happen?Other times, I think WOW is that me………ie.CARLA COULSON shoot.I recently was told a trick about the chin………when you smile hold your tongue on top of your mouth it pulls those sagging jowls up!NOT THAT YOU HAVE THAT PROBLEM but thats the only trick I know………a LOT has to do with the photographer and what they are saying to YOU too helps a great deal……..
XX

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Sharon Santoni September 19, 2014 - 4:48 pm

Those pictures of you outside the Louvre with your chickens are just delightful Elizabeth, and you are so photogenic!

I love Carla’s work and your shoot is one of my favourite that she has shown.

When I meet you for the tour next week, I’ll stick my tongue to the roof of the mouth!

xx

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La Contessa September 20, 2014 - 4:36 pm

AND I will snap a PHOTO right away!BEWARE…….stare into the lens as another READER suggested and think of chocolate!Getting ready to leave the house in an hour!!!!!!HERE I COME.
WOW WOW WOW………..XOXO

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Gardengirl September 19, 2014 - 1:30 pm

I personally HATE having my picture taken. Definitely a self esteem issue. I have a daughter whom the camera, any camera absolutely loves and when the photo is taken by a professional she literally glows. I believe it to be an inner gift.

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Sharon Santoni September 19, 2014 - 4:49 pm

I have a daughter like that too, she loves the camera and it positively adores her! Not sure where she got that gene from!

xx

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Gina September 19, 2014 - 1:51 pm

I look at the camera and think of something very pleasant. I don’t think about the camera but think of the feeling of being loved by someone special. I’ve used the same trick when sitting in the dentists chair, the pain isn’t there.

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Sharon Santoni September 19, 2014 - 4:53 pm

That sounds like a very good technique Gina, I shall definitely try that one next time, thank you

xx

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Jeanne McKay Hartmann September 19, 2014 - 2:20 pm

Sharon, I’m not a fan of having my photo taken and I’m even worse when it comes to smiling for the camera. The person who took the picture I use for the blog made a point of getting me to smile big and she did a great job. Relaxing under the unforgiving eye of the lens is tough! I admire people who convey that confidence and comfort in their own skin.

I am super intrigued about your book project! Can’t wait to learn more.

Hope you have a beautiful weekend! XOXO

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Sharon Santoni September 19, 2014 - 4:50 pm

If we get to meet up for that lunch in Paris Jeanne, I shall tell you all about it!

xx

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May September 19, 2014 - 2:48 pm

The book! Exciting.

Several years ago I discovered the raw look, no make-up, no feminine facade, and a don’t care attitude. There were times when I’d arrive home, pass a mirror, and startle myself, (scare sometimes). I questioned whether sprucing up is to align how I feel with how I look or to fool myself into thinking I’m better if I look better. Why the contrast between mirror and mind? Then, I slowly began to feel comfy with myself. And since then, while I do care about my picture being taken, I love the camera because the fear of not measuring up visually no longer rules how I care about myself. I think of the lens as an adorable and delightful revealer.

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Sharon Santoni September 19, 2014 - 4:51 pm

“The contrast between mirror and mind”, nicely put May! That is something I have had to come to terms with this year, as I’ve seen myself in photos and videos AARGHH!

xx

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Colleen Taylor September 19, 2014 - 4:22 pm

I never minded having my photo taken when I was younger, but now with the aging process, I strongly dislike it. I avoid it if I can. There’s always Photoshop while helps a great deal. There are so many apps available now for ipads & all phones that softening of the face has become easy even for the novice.

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Sharon Santoni September 19, 2014 - 4:52 pm

Totally agree Colleen, just have to know when to stop with the ‘smoothing-out’ button

xx

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linda koenig September 19, 2014 - 5:12 pm

Photos of me will live longer than I do…so I have become more interested in giving the camera a happy face and showing how much fun I am having; because that is how I wish to be remembered. The person, not her appearance, is significantly more valuable.

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Sharon Santoni September 19, 2014 - 8:59 pm

I think that is a lovely and wise philosophy Linda, thank you

xx

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Mumbai September 19, 2014 - 5:18 pm

The best photos are the unexpected one and made in b/w. But obviously you can learn to be in front of a lens as the photos show above…and a smile is always a good advice.

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Sharon Santoni September 19, 2014 - 8:59 pm

I also love black and white for portraits

xx

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Madonna/aka/Ms. Lemon September 19, 2014 - 6:20 pm

Just the experience of having a photographer to collaborate with sounds like a fabulous experience.

I have a friend that says to treat the camera like you just saw a good friend instead of dose of bad medicine. She smiles right into the lens. I have seen very few photos of her that were not attractive. I always tense up and look pretty unapproachable. I’m working on it. 🙂

M.

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Sharon Santoni September 19, 2014 - 9:01 pm

You are right Madonna, it is fun to work with a good photographer, and making this book is proving to be a wonderful experience

xx

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Sarah Malone September 19, 2014 - 8:08 pm

it sounds like a wonderful experience Sharon! I can’t wait for that signed copy of your book:). XO

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Sharon Santoni September 19, 2014 - 9:01 pm

Hi Sarah, It certainly is fun … have to wait a whole year for the book though!

xx

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Linda September 19, 2014 - 8:32 pm

I agree that having my picture taken is akin to stepping on the scale! I have only had a handful of pictures taken during my 67 years that I thought were worthy of sharing or framing…LOL. I think the French have it correct that in order to project that self-worth confidence, you have to “succumb” to the photographer. Perhaps remembering an especially satisfying moment might help too! Anyway, don’t worry about what others think, just be satisfied with what you feel. Does that help?

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Sharon Santoni September 19, 2014 - 9:03 pm

When I was about twenty, at that age when everyone looks good, I had some great pictures taken of me by a friend who was studying photography…. Unfortunately the set got lost somewhere along the way, I would love to have them today 🙂

xx

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Cheryl September 19, 2014 - 9:10 pm

This is such a timely post, because literally an hour ago I arrived home from a gallery here in Minneapolis that has a permanent exhibit of Vivian Maier’s photos. This woman was a genius at seeing the beauty of the ordinary, and convinced me that just being unselfconscious in front of the camera will result in more interesting, and therefore beautiful (though maybe not in the way I’d like) photos. The hard part will be achieving that unselfconsciousness!

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Sharon Santoni September 19, 2014 - 9:40 pm

I just googled Vivian Maier’s pictures and they are beautiful ….. maybe the whole point of being unselfconscious is that you don’ t think too much about it!

xx

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Cheryl September 25, 2014 - 1:40 pm

If you or any of your readers are unfamiliar with Vivian Maier, her story is as fascinating as her photography. And although she passed away in 2009, the story continues, as her pictures may be removed from public view for many years until the rightful heirs to her legacy are established. She is of French lineage, and spent her youth in France, so perhaps a blog post by you would bring her to the attention of many more readers!

https://www.vivianmaier.com/about-vivian-maier/

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suzana September 19, 2014 - 9:32 pm

My two grown up daughters have both asked me for a photo of me to take into their new homes. We searched and searched and realised that there weren’t very many usable photos of their mother. It seems that I was always happier behind the lens instead of in front of it.. This I have always been conscious of but just can’t bring myself to have my picture taken, I am usually the one strategically hiding behind someone or something.

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Sharon Santoni September 19, 2014 - 9:41 pm

I am in pretty much the same position Suzana, but I think we are wrong. Unless we do something awful, it will be nice to have our pictures in the family records 🙂

xx

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Angela Muller September 19, 2014 - 9:49 pm

I don’t know! The camera doesn’t like me anymore. When I look at a photo of me, even a candid shot, all I see is the sagging skin, messy hair, etc. and certainly, not the person I thought I was. I’ve given up fighting the camera, though. I try to relax and smile, and avoid the end result! Sharon, I love your posts and I know I’m going to enjoy your book!

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Jennifer Clark September 19, 2014 - 9:52 pm

I think it is both how you feel in your skin and some learned technique. The tongue on the foof of the mouth thing, leading with the forehead to appear friendly, a 3/4 pose; all help. I used to enjoy being photographed, but as I’ve gotten older, fatter and the dark circles began resisting concealer, not so much. Relax, think happy thoughts and convey your happiness thru your eyes!

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Millie September 20, 2014 - 3:20 am

I’m ridiculously unphotogenic & the harder I work on it the worse the pics are! Conversely MOTH who doesn’t give a hoot when the camera lens is on him is incredibly photogenic. There’s no justice in this world!
M xx

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Kerstin Trott September 20, 2014 - 5:42 am

These women look fantastic – like we all do, in fact. It really is a matter of self-esteem and being content with yourself. I love your interesting and insightful posts. Thank you very much for sharing them. And I will look out for your book… Kind regards from Germany. Kerstin

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lisa | renovatingitaly September 20, 2014 - 1:54 pm

Funnily enough I just had a portrait session with Carla Coulson in Paris. She photographed myself and my daughter and it felt like the camera was never pointed in our direction, so natural and easy.

I also have a non existent relationship with having my photo taken, in fact the video I made when I found out I won the portrait package touched so many nerves for readers at the blog.

I totally love the images Carla took, and the response has been overwhelming.
sending love lisa x

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Anne September 20, 2014 - 2:21 pm

I am with the women on here who dislike their photo being taken.. mine has been with me for years, and unlike Lisa in the above comment who SHONE in her Carla Coulson’s photo shoot in Paris , I would never feel that confident. Even though I have had a yearning to have just ONE photo that I look good.

I look at photos of me and think what is the point , lets get rid of it . I very deep problem for me , I think due to negative comments from people in my younger years,

The women in the photos above look fantastic , happy and confident .

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Heather in Arles September 20, 2014 - 3:13 pm

I think that May’s comment about the difference between the “mirror and the mind” hit home for me. Certainly, since I have gained weight, when I see a photo of myself I have a sinking moment of “Oh right, that is what I look like now” – one that doesn’t jibe with how I feel but I am working on both that and the weight.

I took the portraits for my Mom’s wedding last weekend and the key was to keep the subjects happy! So when they would freeze up, I would just peek over the top of the camera and say “It is just me, you two! Just look at me but in the camera” and that would help. Or I would ask them to kiss and funny, that worked too!

From the days of being in front of the camera, I agree with the tricks here (save that I feel that a 3/4 pose just doesn’t look natural for most folks). I would add that most people look better with their chin slightly tucked down and looking up with the eyes too. And when I smile, I have to make a little effort to open up my eyes so that don’t transform into slits. Otherwise…it is all about the light…communicating a connection…and don’t forget to move too! Those are a few of the elements that makes Carla’s shoots so amazing (I would love to see you do a shoot with her!). 🙂

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La Contessa September 20, 2014 - 4:40 pm

YEAH!!!!!!
DO IT………….I agree!

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Sandra T. September 20, 2014 - 4:44 pm

Catherine Deneuve is still gorgeous, sexy, and fascinating. Along with Grace Kelly, they were both my two idols growing up. Being comfortable in your own skin is the best way that I have ever heard of taking a great photo. I can’t wait to see the book!

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Cathy September 21, 2014 - 5:08 am

Hello.Sharon! My secret for being comfortable in photos: look natural,always try to give a genuine smile.
ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-586014

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Cathy September 21, 2014 - 5:12 am

Have a Wonderful weekend!

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Jill Karr September 21, 2014 - 10:09 am

Stunning photographs…..I think the camera either likes you or not. Some of the most beautiful people I know do not take good photos. My daughter-in-law cannot take a bad photo….the camera loves her but my handsome son often looks like a gargoyle!! I have beautiful women friends that can look ten years older or ten years younger. I think it is the way the contours of your face reflect light and how the lens interprets that light.
I am struggling to create on canvas as you are with the lens. The journey is fascinating and frustrating at the same time,,,,,but so worth it!!
Thank you, again, for a wonderful blog!

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Doré @ BurlapLuxe September 21, 2014 - 7:52 pm

Have you ever known those people who photos don’t do them justice? Well I feel like I am one of them. I just take better pictures behind the camera instead of in front of the camera. Although when a most unexpected photo is taken of me it seems to capture me in the best natural posed lighting. I have a daughter who can snap a selfie at a moment, yet for me it’s wait, hold on, just a minute let me straighten up, ooop’s get the right angle, 🙂
I just have a hard time sitting in front of a camera.

This post inspires as well as beautiful photos.

Xx
Dore

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carol September 22, 2014 - 12:42 pm

hi Sharon I just found your blog ,,, I am enjoying it so much
carol

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suzanna September 25, 2014 - 12:02 pm

hi Sharon, I love your watercolors and am hunting high and low for the name of those poppies. I wish to buy seeds or plants to plant them. Do you know their name? I am loving the house above so much and ofcourse your place to come visit and rent someday! I just can’t wait to come to France! I don’t do Facebook, but if I did, you would have 501,000 likes! hee hee xo

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Ingel September 30, 2014 - 6:59 am

Hi, Sharon. I can look nice on photos or not, but I have realized that you have to relax in front of the lens and think of good things that makes you happy. I just try to forget that someone is taking photos of me…sometimes it works when I just do funny things like playing with the leafs in autumn. And if photographer takes a photo of me then I have to trust him/her at least a bit, then the talking helps me to understand of the photographers vision to make myself a reflection of it and also build trust. It all helps to get over of the fear of lens.

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