where we are at today …..

by Sharon Santoni

autumn path in the forest

This week I met up with old friends, some of whom I hadn’t seen for … dare I say it? … thirty years.

It was lovely.  Beyond lovely actually.  A bunch of bright and interesting people who were close friends during their teens;  who have scattered across countries, across continents;  created families; created businesses; had their ups and their downs, their joys and their pains, but who today are actually  simply adult versions of their teenage selves.

 There is an ease and familiarity that remains from teenage friendships .. it’s like riding a bike … you never actually forget, and we picked up with each other as if we had left off the day before.

Of course there was the catching up, the practical questions “so where do you actually live now? ….  and what’s the name of your youngest?” ….  but the essence of each person required no explanation, they each  remain the same … just more ‘grown up’ and it was reassuring to observe that if you are a ‘good’ person at the age of 14 or 16 or 18, then the chances are that you will still be ‘good’ 40, 50 or 60 years later.

And because we came to the reunion from all over the world and from very different walks of life, there was no competition.  Nobody trying to prove he had ‘done better’ than the others, whatever ‘done better’ may mean, and each person apparently comfortable with where they are today.

So as I drove home I thought about everything that had been said and shared, about the very different paths that we have each followed, and about how we each have a responsibility to enjoy our lives and make the most of each day,  how we face our challenges and also make the most of the talents and opportunities that we are blessed with.

It seems to me that we are in a very fortunate position today.  Especially we women compared to past generations.  We have the liberty, the technology and the confidence to create and live the lives we wish for.  The world really is our oyster, it’s for us to recognise and harvest the pearls.

I hope you have a lovely weekend ahead of you, and that you will have a moment when you take time to slow down and take stock of where you are today, and where you want to be tomorrow, or next year or in ten years time.  Because while it is true that opportunities have to be seized, it is also sure that they can be provoked or created.

26 comments

Colleen Taylor November 6, 2015 - 4:12 pm

Sharon, I know exactly what you mean familiarity that will always be there from teenage friendships. It’s like putting on an old pair of those jeans that you just can’t part with, or the shoes that are the most comfortable. With good friends, you pick up where you’ve left off, as if neither of you ever parted. I’ve had that experience & so heart warming it truly is.

As we get older, those chances to seize become more precious. The last time I was able to have a reunion of sorts, my best friend & I caught up a bit but not entirely enough. She passed away from cancer 6 months ago.

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Cathy C November 6, 2015 - 4:18 pm

Hello Sharon,
This was such a nice reflective post. I too believe that opportunities can be initiated or created with finesse and thoughtful planning. Yes, seize them as they come, but create what doesn’t if you know it will fulfill you. Bon Weekend!
Cathy

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Jane Casnellie November 6, 2015 - 5:45 pm

So very well said. I grew up in England, then moved to Spain and now have lived in the the U.S. for some 40 years. Life has been good to me, but I always seized an opportunity when presented to me and I always found a glass half full. I too have friends from long ago who live around the world. When we do talk the years melt away. There is nothing better than the unsaid knowing of each other’s “history”…. There is always a bond and good friendships last forever….thank you for a lovely post!

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Bebe November 6, 2015 - 6:08 pm

I have friends from as far back as kindergarten. We lived in the same neighborhood, went to the same schools through high school. And then some of us scattered. It was lovely when, a few years ago, an enterprising friend who was retired from a rather amazing career decided to “find” everyone. And did she ever. We started off with a “girls only” reunion in the desert, which she then expanded to an annual reunion at a marvelous historic hotel in Southern California, to which both male and female schoolmates were invited and brought their spouses (if any).

I stayed in even closer touch with a kindergarten/neighborhood playmate. Our lunches had been a high point for each of us until she was found to have metastatic cancer last January. One more visit, hopeful that she was licking it, and then in June she let us know via email that the end was near. She did it in her usual warm, light, hopeful manner. Looking forward to seeing her husband and being able once again to sort his socks. I miss her every day. But we’ll see each other again.

A lovely post, Sharon. Thank you.

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Iris November 6, 2015 - 6:27 pm

You are absolutely right about friendships. I don’t know if it becomes more important as we age but I have had a wonderful opportunity to reconnect with some childhood friends and when we are together it feels like time has stood still. Even though our lives have all taken different turns whenever we get together we don’t dwell on the negative but encourage each other to keep moving forward embracing or creating the opportunities in front of us. We share our experiences and cherish the moments we have together. What a gift it is to have lifetime friends who love being a part of your life.

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Marilyn November 6, 2015 - 7:07 pm

Love your words “recognize and harvest the pearls.” So true!

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Lise-Lotte November 6, 2015 - 10:58 pm

Thank you for this. Your last line gives me a lot to ponder this weekend as I follow my golden retriever along the path by the lake amidst the rustling leaves ( and, fingers crossed, rays of sun light coming down through the trees) Lise-Lotte

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cynthia woodyard November 6, 2015 - 11:01 pm

I appreciate your thoughtful, beautiful so much! Keep them coming!

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Amy November 6, 2015 - 11:20 pm

Hello Sharon. I just received your book as a birthday gift. And what a beautiful book it is!! I always enjoy the blog, and the book is a lovely addition and dream about. Thank you.

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Irene Peterson November 6, 2015 - 11:43 pm

I so enjoy your posts – they refresh and inspire me. So glad to have your acquaintance as I venture on into seniorhood. Irene

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Susan November 6, 2015 - 11:47 pm

Sharon- I really appreciated your perspective. Friendship is such a gift. I’m learning not to take it for granted.
I loved your book…took one long, decadent day and devoured it cover to cover! It now lives on my library table with my other most-favored books!

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Florence Brown November 7, 2015 - 12:15 am

A comment about how we women are so lucky today. I recommend a book called the Gilded Hour, set in the early 1900;s inn New York. It is about 2 female doctors and the discriminations they faced. It also is about all the immigrants that were in the U.S., especially all the orphaned children. I had forgotten how difficult life was back then. I think we are all blessed.

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D. De Luca November 7, 2015 - 1:17 am

Some of my dearest schoolfriends whom I catch up with annually or even once a decade and yet we always “pick up” where we “left off”. It is always comforting to see them. I know we would all come to each other’s aid at the drop of a hat..
Sharon, are we not lucky to have such treasured friendships?

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PEGGY BRASWELL November 7, 2015 - 2:54 am

well said + the best friends are old friends.xxpeggybraswelldesign.com

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terry irick November 7, 2015 - 3:26 am

This was lovely. Thanks.

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Marilyn November 7, 2015 - 5:32 am

Thank you for those thoughtful words, very true.

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bonnie groves poppe November 7, 2015 - 9:27 am

I did this very same thing a couple of yeas ago, with people I had not seen since junior high school, over 40 years ago. My experience was very similar to yours, everyone had done fine with their lives and seemed content with where they are today. No suicides, felons, drug addicts, alcoholics, etc. It was a great pleasure to see them all again.
bonnie

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Our French Oasis November 7, 2015 - 9:52 am

Thanks Sharon, your post made me think of many of my childhood friendships and old school friends, many of us have reconnected again thanks to facebook, friends are scattered around the world, but two things remain constant. One, that we all seem to pick up where we left off a long time ago and two, everyone has done so much with their lives, they don’t need to be rich or famous, but they have led incredibly fulfilling lives – as you so rightly say, now is the time to seize the moment if you haven’t already done so, and start living – fabulous thoughts for the weekend x

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Debbie November 7, 2015 - 11:14 am

Sadly I am not in contact with friends from school or from when I worked in Sydney in the 1980’s anymore as we all went our separate ways and trying to track them down is difficult due to different last names now, but I did find a friend of mine from that time when we both discovered the same blog which talked about our favourite shop in
Sydney in the 1980’s. After posting a couple of comments and exchanges we now email and keep in touch and managed to have a wonderful reunion earlier this year. It is such a blessing to find a friend from the past and I cherish
her friendship.

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Clair Humphries November 7, 2015 - 11:38 am

Such a positive, uplifting post, Sharon. Thank you – it’s really inspired me to seize the day!

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Donna November 7, 2015 - 4:31 pm

Very, very well said Sharon and very thought provoking. I completely agree that we are responsible for creating our own lives, our happiness, and taking advantages of opportunities that cross our path.

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Fran November 7, 2015 - 4:37 pm

Unfortunately, there are people who actually never grow up and still talk and behave as though they are still 14 years old….

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D. A. Wolf November 7, 2015 - 5:14 pm

A lovely perspective. You remind me that I should get in touch with some old friends from college that I haven’t heard from in awhile.

Wishing you a wonderful autumn!

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Karena November 8, 2015 - 10:56 pm

Sharon, I just reconnected with a friend from years past, and like you say, we picked up comfortably right where we left off as if we had talked or gotten together last week!

Very thoughtful words that resonate with me !
xoxo
Karena
The Arts by Karena

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It's me November 10, 2015 - 10:24 pm

wowwww one word beautiful…….love Ria x

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Stacey November 12, 2015 - 2:28 am

You are so right about life at this stage and reconnecting with old friends. My husband and I lived out of state for 23 years and came back 3 years ago. I have had the chance to reconnect with some very special friends from high school and it feels so good to be with them.

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