the brave age of selfies – and the definition of truth

by Sharon Santoni

painting of woman in front of mirror

Since I started making the MFCH lifestyle videos, I have had to come to terms with the idea of being seen on a screen.  Not an easy process, believe me.   I’ve never liked photos of myself, and always prefer to be the one behind the camera in family shots, but for the videos, as my daughters pointed out so eloquently, I had to “get over myself”.

It’s all a question of ego and perception.  We have such a selective, and often erroneous, image of the way other people see us that it is hard to face up to how we really look.

And of course in today’s world when most photos in magazines are photo-shopped, its easy to lose sight of what it is really like to grow older.

I would love to say that  I don’t mind about my wrinkles, and that they are just part of growing older gracefully….. but the truth is otherwise.

Actually, in today’s world of selfies, photoshop and eternal youth I really do mind about looking older, and although I haven’t ever knocked at the door of a cosmetic surgeon, or even requested a ‘sprinkling’ of botox from my closest specialist, I am certainly more careful than ever before with my beauty and make up routine.

It all comes down to our definition of truth.  Or  maybe our definition of the importance of truth, or maybe even more simply to our bank balance, and whether we can afford to do all that we would like to do in the way of beauty and ‘maintenance’.

And sometimes our self-image is not only the one we see on a screen or on a photo that hurts the most, but it is the one that we see in the eyes of people we meet; like a new contact in a work situation, who has “wow, didn’t think she’d look that old” written all over their face.  I know, I’ve been there, and believe me it’s the quickest way to wipe out a girl’s self-confidence.

And today I am wondering how you feel about this, and whether you talk about it with your friends, or whether you worry about it, or whether you are embracing every wrinkle on your face as the outward sign of a rich and well-lived life.

I, in the meantime, have been filming and editing all weekend and I have loved every minute of it.  The new video will be published here at the beginning of the week , wrinkles and all, …. I hope you like it.

image – woman in front of a mirror by Mose Bianchi

Enregistrer

107 comments

Taste of France March 13, 2016 - 9:47 am

I think you look fabulous in the videos!
All my friends have hang-ups about one thing or another. A young neighbor revealed that her mother-in-law (a friend of mine) had a facelift. She is very beautiful, and probably would be even without work. Another friend swears she is going to have the bags under here eyes fixed. I know quite a few who do Botox. Personally I am doing as much Pilates as possible to stay in shape.
Young lovelies will always be admired. But as the population pyramid shifts to have more and more older people, I think the pressure in general to look young and smooth will ease. I think it will be more important to be active and engaged–that being old will be defined as those who no longer do things. And that is something in our control.

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mary March 13, 2016 - 4:31 pm

you are so right…embrace the wrinkles, eat right, stay active and do something you love every day…

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Katarina Matovic March 14, 2016 - 2:39 am

I agree with you! Life is to be enjoyed and we are to celebrate our looks and be utterly grateful and happy!
Thanks a lot for all good and nice things! Katarina

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Jeannine March 13, 2016 - 4:51 pm

Great thoughts! I agree.

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Francie March 14, 2016 - 7:59 am

Your reply was perfect-that being old will be defined as those who no longer do things! Thank you for words well written!

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Cindi Brumpton March 13, 2016 - 11:29 am

Hi Sharon,

I too think you look great! Personally, I see aging as a gift. After all, if we are not aging we are dead. I have always thought the most interesting/beautiful person in the room is the oldest. Think of it, a life during the wars, a different time in terms of what it meant to be female and domestic responsibilities. Changes that feminism has brought. Faces tell a story and there is a richness and depth there that is so much more important than youthful smoothness. Youthful smoothness is a rapidly passed stage. And not as interesting either.

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mary March 13, 2016 - 4:33 pm

i wholeheartedly agree…

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Madeleine March 13, 2016 - 11:41 am

I started collecting photos of fabulous looking older women when I turned 40 – it gave me something to look forward to. Often they would have fabulous grey or white hair and I could see that ageing could be beautiful.

The best looking woman in my yoga class must be close to 70. She’s not skinny, but she has fabulous short,white hair, incredible posture and a very strong-looking body. And wears a fabulous red lipstick! When I see Hollywood starts with dyed hair, too-white teeth and skinny bodies I don’t think attractive or enviable – I think fake and unattractive.

Think about how Audrey Hepburn looked as she hit her 60s – fine,greying hair in a little bun, plenty of wrinkles, and a face that reflected the beautiful person she was inside. She’s was gorgeous when younger but I think she got better with age.

Health, happiness and a kind heart all make women look more beautiful as they get older.

Madeleine

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Ellen Forbus March 13, 2016 - 2:59 pm

Well said. What a great idea about the pictures of older women!

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Esther George March 13, 2016 - 11:51 am

Hi Sharon, I think you look lovely. I have problems with being photographed it’s nothing new, I’ve always been shy. We have all been young at one time, it’s fleeting and there are so many more things to life than little old wrinkles. In saying this to be honest I can be a bit vain at times (I’m only human). Hope you are having a lovely weekend and Spring has started it’s magic. Till next time, regards Esther from Sydney.

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Jeanne Henriques March 13, 2016 - 12:07 pm

Sharon, as someone who as seen you up close and personal all I can say is that you struck me as beautiful, elegant, poised, warm and gracious..just as we see in your videos today . It’s been a few years and nothing has changed…love seeing you again in video format, only wish we lived a few continents closer. 😉 As for selfies…not for me. I always feel there are far more interesting things to look at in the world than me. I cringe when someone takes out a camera to take a photo for FB. All in good time…or maybe never. 😉 xx

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Sharon Santoni March 14, 2016 - 8:09 am

My dear Jeanne, I can’t count how many times I have wished we lived closer! I feel the same about selfies, but they are a part of today’s world where barriers have tumbled and there is a new appreciation of what is acceptable

xx

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Kim March 13, 2016 - 1:50 pm

Sharon, I think you are a beautiful lady and I love seeing you in the videos. I feel the same way you do. I had an appointment two years ago for botox, but I ended up cancelling. I was afraid I would have some weird reaction to it. I am thankful for good genes though. I turned 60 last September and that was a hard number to swallow. We just have to live life to it’s best and not worry about aging. Worry will age us for sure.

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Ellen Forbus March 13, 2016 - 2:56 pm

Sharon, have you been reading my mind the past few weeks? I have been struggling with these same changes! The woman I see in the mirror is not the one my heart and head match with!! She looks much older. Yet most people don’t think I look my age – 54. While I don’t have forehead wrinkles, the skin around the eyes is a little puffy and do to a a little weight loss, the “jowl” area around the mouth and jaw is a little saggy.

My hair is dark brown and I used to get highlights, but over the last two years I’ve not had the patience to sit in a chair that long to have anything done. So while I don’t have the “zebra stripe” down the part or crown of my hair where the grey grows in, I am getting a natural type of highlights by the greys that have started. It actually doesn’t look too bad yet, so am trying to be patient and see how it comes in. Over the last few years I experienced many personal issues that were stressful and so I consider my grey the badge of honor for growing through those experiences and coming out stronger.

I too have been extra careful with my skin care regime, making sure to moisturize especially the neck/décolleté area. Wish I would have started that 30 years ago!

We need more women like Helen Mirren and Meryl Streep (I don’t think they’ve had any work done) who are still going strong and looking beautiful even though they are well into their 60’s or more.

Thank you for voicing your concerns. I am sure you will have many who feel the same way. No matter who I see in the mirror, I know that my spirit, my sense of adventure and my love of nature, dogs and humankind are what truly defines me. If other people can’t get past my looks, then it is their loss.

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Michelle B March 13, 2016 - 3:40 pm

I think that aging and our perceptions of it is a complicated thing. Sure, we like to look good and having wrinkles doesn’t help. I am coming up on my seventh year as a breast cancer survivor. I can honestly say that I am happy to be here to earn my wrinkles and crows feet. I believe that as much as we lament each new line we see, what we are really sad about is that yes, we are getting older and that brings the realization that we are not going to be here forever. Accepting our own mortality is a difficult thing. I had to do that in my early 40’s with my diagnosis. But also with that acceptance comes a new appreciation for each day. Living each day, being in the moment and loving the people in your life – those are the important things. All the rest is just noise. Love your blog 🙂

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Monique March 13, 2016 - 3:52 pm

So well said.

Living each day, being in the moment and loving the people in your life – those are the important things. All the rest is just noise.

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mary March 13, 2016 - 4:36 pm

i agree 100%…those you love, tell them and be with them as much as possible…those who run you the wrong way…stay far, far away from them…lol!

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Judi March 13, 2016 - 9:39 pm

Well said, Michelle! I’ve been breast cancer free now for 21 years on Valentine’s Day, and each day I am grateful! But, although I feel young at heart, spirit and even body sometimes – I do try to avoid a mirror – as it can be kind of a downer. I like feeling good, better than like looking good! Well, if I’m honest, I wouldn’t mind having both! ha ha

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Heather in Arles March 13, 2016 - 7:19 pm

Bravo, Michelle.

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Leslie in Oregon March 14, 2016 - 12:02 am

Beautifully put, Michelle, and I couldn’t agree more. After losing my three closest friends to death far too early in each of their lives, I try to honor them, and myself, by focusing on those three important things and remembering that all the rest, including fretting about the extent to which I “look old,” truly is just noise.

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Sharon Santoni March 14, 2016 - 10:27 pm

thank you Michelle, and congratulations on being such a brave fighter!

xx

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Our French Oasis March 13, 2016 - 3:42 pm

I’m reading this on my phone whilst sitting watching number 2 daughter at a tennis match. Despite the spring sunshine there is a bitterly cold wind and I know the two combined are a lethal combination for the skin! Of course many of us worry about age. I will never resort to Botox, I simply cannot imagine poisons being injected into my body, it goes against everything I believe in. However, I try to be so terribly careful, not so much for me but for my children’s sake. I’m an average aged mother for our 19 soon to be 20 year old, but a much older one for our 9 year old and for her sake as well as the other four, I will do everything I can to keep the years at bay and to stay looking as young as I possibly can and a big part of that is staying in shape and being active. But yes, it’s something I think about far too much, however, I thoroughly recommend face oils, they are my wonder tool at moment!

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Taste of France March 13, 2016 - 6:19 pm

As someone who had a first child at age 43, I second this! It’s not about being beautiful–that train has left the station–it’s about not becoming a burden (and having just lost both my parents, who were 85 and 90, I know what I’m talking about). You can’t decide to get in shape when you’re 80. You have to do it now and keep it up. My child is the best thing that ever happened to me, and I absolutely refuse to turn into a problem just as they’re staking out their own life.
Anyway, Sharon, your videos are about French lifestyle. They aren’t flaunting you. You are a part of them, naturally, but they aren’t, ummm, Kardashian. So don’t worry.

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Valorie March 14, 2016 - 4:13 pm

I’m so sorry about your folks. 🙁 Mine are both 82, my mother has late stage Alzheimer’s and my father’s body is failing him as well. I’m terrified of what’s to come. I just can’t imagine this world without them here. xx

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Sharon Santoni March 14, 2016 - 10:28 pm

thank you for saying my videos are not Kardashian, I take that as a compliment!

So sorry to hear that you lost both your parents in a short space of time

x

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Janie March 13, 2016 - 3:48 pm

Thank you Sharon for expressing this concern. I think we all want to believe we look our best. Living in LA, there are plenty of women around who have chosen to alter their looks with fillers, implants, and Botox. At first it does seem to give a lift, but the problem is eventually, they all seem to go too far. Soon the pretty face has turned into a “done” look. Plus these fixes are pricy and don’t last forever. I have seen pictures of you and think you are very attractive. Our beauty really does come from our inner peace and joy. Keep pursuing the lovely things you like and taking those walks in the trees. Those experiences are what people will notice about you.

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Monique March 13, 2016 - 3:50 pm

Sharon..this is so well written..I insist on being behind the camera..I love phtographing..but everything you said is what I feel..plus a “something” happened 6 yrs ago..that changed my face ..so if I look at before and after..such a difference and it affects me..but in my head I am starting to tell myself..it’s age too..that makes you look different.
I’m 62..I don’t know what it’s supposed to look like..my mother never lived past 55.
It’s sad that looks have mattered to me..one does become nvisble a bit later on..if they had never mattered..I would not have noticed!
All this to say..bravo.
And you really do look lovely in your videos..

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Deb March 13, 2016 - 3:56 pm

I’m closing in on 70, not terribly excited about this next phase. However, I was lucky enough to watch my mother grow to the age of 94, happy, independent & full of gratitude! we should all be so lucky !

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Nancy March 13, 2016 - 4:05 pm

I think you have nothing to worry about.
I know recently I am concerned about health, weight etc…
I was at the dermatologist, having “thing” taken care of, and she asked if I wanted Botox to “fix” my wrinkles!
Well, I know I have some….badges of honor my Aunt used to say. But I was shocked…
Oh, well, I will just get more vigilant about my creams at night I guess…
You look wonderful! A model for all of us. Just the same it makes me feel better to know that I am not alone questioning how I look for pictures….(ever wonder why I’m rarely in the pix on my blog?? There is only one or two ….)
Thanks and have a great week ahead. I look so forward to the next video!

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Kate R March 13, 2016 - 8:14 pm

Some dermatologists know how to get business, don’t they?! It does feel a bit crushing, especially when a person has been bravely and confidently facing the world with an aging face and body. I will think I am at peace with the older woman in the mirror, but keep being surprised by little dashes of disappointment when seeing photographic evidence that I don’t look the way I feel. Ah well, being alive is still a joy and a privilege.

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Mona Turner March 13, 2016 - 4:07 pm

Sharon, when I was much younger I met a woman in her eighties with white hair gathered in an elegant chignon, a beautiful warm smile, loving soft brown eyes with some wrinkles on her face but, she was beautiful. She was dressed elegantly with perfect posture. The wrinkles were there, but I really wasn’t drawn to them because of her joyful eyes and smile. At that moment I realized that when you have “joie de vivre,” you will always be beautiful.

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mary March 13, 2016 - 4:47 pm

so true! a joyous heart is the light within that makes every woman at any age or weight truly attractive!

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Becky Stephens March 13, 2016 - 4:08 pm

I think you are beautiful on the outside and on the inside. Can’t wait for the video!

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Our French Oasis March 13, 2016 - 4:28 pm

You can see you have touched on a subject I give a great deal of thought to!!! My contradictory self says don’t worry about the wrinkles – what really matters is keeping a young and active mind, staying au courant with news, listening to Young and old alike, being able to have a conversation with a teenager as well as an elderly person, being an interesting person – isn’t that what matters so much more, at least on days when I look old I’m reminding myself of this!!!

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Josephine March 13, 2016 - 4:29 pm

. Remembering my grandmother, she did not like her picture taken, and as a child I thought how odd that was, I would like to have more pictures of her. I always liked my picture taken when cousins and aunts and uncles came by. It was a memory I wanted to keep for there is only one moment that we have and that is the now. As the baby boomers age we are all asking the age old question, whatever those questions are. They are different things for different people. Whatever our personalities are when we were young intensifies as we age, basic psychology,
Sharon, you are doing something wonderful for all of us who read you and you are obviously enjoining it, keep on, I say, keep on.
A faithful ready

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Gail Krebs March 13, 2016 - 4:33 pm

Zaa Zaa Gabor once said that when a woman reaches a certain age, she has to choose between her face and her fanny.
I have chosen my face and bought larger pants.

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Marla March 16, 2016 - 9:43 pm

I also heard a quotation like Zsa Zsa’s….only it was author Barbara Cartland.
She must have been close to 80 when I saw her on TV looking regal and smooth faced albeit “un peaux ronde”. I so identify. I am way too much overweight….but I’m laughing as I tell you everyone that compliments me on my complexion! Hmmm maybe there is something to this!
Sharon you look lovely, face and figure! Love the video.

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Vicky from Athens March 13, 2016 - 4:37 pm

Sharon – I think so much of our appearance, or at least the way we appear to others, is in our attitude. What we project. I try to be happy, easy to be with, interesting and interested in others and always open to try something new. A youthful attitude goes a long way! As for implants, lifts, nip/tucks and botox . . . all of the cosmetic surgery in the world can’t stop the hands of time and so many women try until they look ridiculous. I would never want to believe that someone was looking at me and saying to themself “what on earth was she thinking!” I’m 71 and happy for every day I get up. I welcome every birthday because it means I’m still alive.
This is a most enjoyable post and I’ve enjoyed reading all of the comments!

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mary March 13, 2016 - 4:49 pm

bravo and amen! very well put!

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bonnie groves poppe March 13, 2016 - 4:40 pm

“Embracing every wrinkle”? Surely you jest, no one does that! All my life, 72 years now, I looked ten or more years younger than I was. Even now its not bad, but I don’t think “passing for 62” would be something that would increase my heart rate. I have the beginnings of some lines in my face, and my eyes seem a bit baggy, but it isn’t bad. Its just not quite how I think of myself. I never “took care” of my skin, sunscreen wasn’t invented until I was over 40. I try to remember to put it on now, but often forget. Genetics I think play a huge role. I have a friend who was a real beauty when young, but her face fell into wrinkles in her 40s. She’s had at least 2 facelifts and looks a bit weird. I think my biggest concern is the possibility of not being taken seriously when one looks old(er), especially for women. Old people are frequently seen as stupid, uninformed, old-fashioned, irrelevant, etc. This is the only reason I don’t want to look terribly old, I need people pay attention when I speak! But I’m greateful to be here and in excellent health, its much better than the “d” word …..
bonnie in provence

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mary March 13, 2016 - 4:52 pm

you have hit the nail on the head too…what brillian women read this blog…i love everything you said…being alive is much, much better than the “d” word, lol!

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Heather in Arles March 13, 2016 - 7:24 pm

No one would EVER take you for old-fashioned, uninformed or irrelevant, Bonnie! You are banishing that chiché every singe day…and yes, you DO look ten years younger…at least…not that it matters compared to the beauty that you have shining from the inside but it doesn’t hurt either. 😉

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Jeannine March 13, 2016 - 4:43 pm

I think you look great in your videos. I’m more concerned with issues of weight and fitness than I am with wrinkles. My personal feeling is that we should work to be in the best shape we can at every age without resorting to surgical enhancements, Botox, etc.

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Katzcradul March 13, 2016 - 4:57 pm

I’ve had a very successful YouTube channel for years. I teach cooking skills, among other things. I decided early on, that I’d never show my face. It’s not because of vanity, though I’m approaching 60 years of age, am overweight, etc. It’s because people are so quick to judge and to jump to conclusions. I’ve always been overweight and know the harsh reality of the prejudice that accompanies it. I’ve always had to be smarter, funnier, and more clever to compensate for the general perception that people have of those who are overweight, which is that they can’t possibly be smart. If I don’t provide a visual, my viewers are left guessing. They are free to hear the message and receive great information without the burden of judging me. It’s unfortunate that I can’t fully reveal myself.

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mary stewart March 13, 2016 - 5:02 pm

dear lovely sharon…i think your blog is delightful and makes me want to buy property or at least visit france so much! you are just gorgeous the way you are…if women could only love themselves as we are and stop trying to improve what nature has given us, we’d have so much more time to enjoy those we love and life in general…eat healthy and enjoy what you’re eating, move your body every day…yoga, walking, swimming, bike riding or dance or whatever! to thine own self be true…i’m getting up the nerve to stop coloring my hair and be as i am…no matter what the naysayers think! i love, love, love your blog…and your friends blogs…keep it coming…as far as botox or facelifts or cosmetic surgery…i can’t even get a bunion removed i’m such a chicken to think about getting cut!!!! keep the beautiful pix and videos and brocante photos coming! and thank you for always sharing what’s on your mind…women need to know we are valid just as we are…

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Debbie Spence March 13, 2016 - 5:05 pm

It’s true that youth is beautiful, but I have found that the most beautiful woman becomes a lot less lovely if her heart does not match. I’ll be honest that at 55 I am thankful that I am often told I look much younger and I do spend time and money to keep my hair blonde, and yes I do sometimes stand I front of the mirror and prop my breasts up to their original position and dream, but ultimately it is my heart that determines how I look. When people see me, at first glance they may see an average, middle aged, overweight woman, but it is my true desire that when I leave, that they will see a completely different person, one that emanates love, joy and kindness and without remembering my features, they will think, “she’s beautiful.” Physical beauty is fleeting, but a woman who is truly beautiful is one who has grown in love, in wisdom, in selflessness and purpose. No matter how one looks, self assurance is stunning. You are an amazing woman who has raised a family, creates beauty and a blog that is so special that women from around the world follow you, and by the way you are lovely on the outside too, but in the end, that matters much less.

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Ellen de Man March 13, 2016 - 5:06 pm

Dear Sharon . I have been reading your blog for many years and cannot remember ever seen such lengthy responses proving to me that the subject of aging is on all our minds including me. I just turned 76 and believe me it sounds old in my ears. I had the good fortune to have had a mother who was very much in tune with taking care of her self and installed that in me as a consequence I did as well and I still am very much doing my best to stay slim and do the maineness every day. It works but one has be be willing to spend time working out a bit every day and eat properly be in good spirits and have friends with similar mindsets and remain cheerfull. When we get together I do remind them ..please no Organ Recitals they laugh and say you are right. I do know however that here in North America Canada to be precise older people including men become invisible. But it will happen to everyone.
I also do not like having my picture taken but why not go for it. Today is best we will look .
Look forward to you new video
Ellen in Vancouver

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Linda Mahkovec March 13, 2016 - 5:23 pm

Oh, what interesting, insightful responses here. Sharon, you have really hit on a theme that concerns us all – thank you for giving voice to that. I’ve always been camera shy and have yet to post a photo of myself online – but like your daughter said, it’s time to “get over” that! Really, who cares? Of course sometimes I start to fret and I’ll examine my face in the mirror, lifting one side up or smoothing out the lines. But then I say to myself- Anyway, this is what I have – this is how I look – and I move on to other (far more interesting) things. I have a Pinterest board of older women that I call “Aging with Spirit” – and the ones who inspire me most are not necessarily the most beautiful ones, but the ones who seem to be enjoying their lives the most. In the end, that’s all that matters – how we live. And Sharon, you embody the idea of LIVING! You really are an inspiration (and part of that is your beauty – I tell myself it’s all that gardening and fresh air and home-cooked meals – not to mention horseback riding and day trips to Paris! – good for the spirit – and to be tall and slim with high cheekbones doesn’t hurt). You are living beautifully, telling us about your friends who are also living full and fascinating lives, and inspiring us all. I think there’s a real trend (a movement, I hope) of women who are older and happier than ever – with many of the pressures and worries of youth behind them – and who enjoy life with a sense of freedom and joy. Thank you for expressing the issue of aging – and thank you for showing us how to do it with style!

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Cathy C March 13, 2016 - 5:34 pm

Oh Sharon…I know you weren’t fishing for compliments but I have to say that you always look so lovely in your photos and videos. Admirably so.
When reading through the responses I was happy to see that most of your readers are “bien dans sa peau”, but for those who aren’t – who is to judge what ever means they use to get there – be it with diet, creams, lasers or knives.
Bon weekend!

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Mary Johnston March 13, 2016 - 5:38 pm

Aging gracefully is my goal. A good sense of humor helps. My Mother (now 84) always said to enjoy each phase of life. We can set a new example of beauty to the younger generations! I’m 63, healthy & learning something new every day!
Mary in San Diego

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Shelagh March 13, 2016 - 5:39 pm

I changed my feelings about getting older looking as we buried our same aged friends. I began to feel lucky that I was still here. Now I celebrate my birthdays with a new awareness of the gift I have been given. This was brought home yesterday when my younger brother ( 54) told me his best friend had just died in his sleep. The cause is yet to be determined. They have been friends for 48 years. Love the blog and videos.

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Dana Veach March 13, 2016 - 5:51 pm

Sharon, I frequently appreciate your refreshing perspective and the simple eloquence with which you write. This entry is no exception. I’ve “earned” every one of my grey hairs and wrinkles; they attest to the fact that I have survived illnesses, poverty, broken relationships, and other life stresses for some 68 years thus far. And I know that I know…that I have grown wiser and stronger despite the fact that my body neither looks nor functions with the flexibility and strength that once characterized it. My brother frequently observes that “any day above ground is a good day.” Yep…life is a gift, and we can either bemoan its limits and imperfections…as I’ve done far too frequently…or we can live it with gratitude and joy. You contribute to recognizing and cherishing the beauty God has given us, and I enjoy and appreciate your lovely work. Thank you so much.

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Julie March 13, 2016 - 5:53 pm

You are so lovely in your videos…it’s not only your outwardly appearance that is charming, but your personality comes through beautifully also. I feel so much younger than my actual 54 years, so it is surprising to consider what others may perceive from the outside. It’s best to enjoy it all and I say “thinking young” keeps us young at heart.

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Elaine Clark March 13, 2016 - 5:53 pm

I have never replied to any of your gorgeous pieces but felt this one was special. I look in the mirror and see a woman in her late sixties, Wife , Mother and Grandmother and one who has enjoyed her life and embraces every wrinkle because unless I do I would go down the surgery route and that is something I never want to do. What you see is what you get, confident, fulfilled and happy, what price a few wrinkles! I have Rheumatoid Arthritis and struggle most days and have had lots of replacement joints. Those operations were necessary, plastic surgery is not! Every day is a wonderful new beginning particularlywhen friends and family struggle with life changing illnesses, I am SO lucky. what would I have to feel sad about.

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beverly March 13, 2016 - 5:58 pm

well, I always looked young for my age until this year although in some photos I still look very much younger than my age. However, this year my daughter has said that I have begun looking “my age.”

I have graced the entryways of cosmetic surgeons and have finally come to the conclusion that I am going to go the way of the knife, albeit not a complete face lift but definitely a tuck here and there. I used to say “never” but now I have reached the age of 67 I look at the women I know who have had “work” done and they look perfectly natural — as I say, Why Not?

I live a full and active life with piano, gardening, pottery, volunteer work, etc., but it just seems that I want to present a more youthful and vibrant look to go along with my inner self and my feelings. My grandmother, at age 86, told me that she still felt 16 and I looked at her and was shocked because she looked so old. I guess this is why I want to do something now so that my outer appearance is married to how I feel inside.

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Chris Roberts March 13, 2016 - 6:14 pm

One day a friend and I commenting on waking up and finding new wrinkles …
Went to a dinner with older friends that night … We were all so happy to see each other and I never saw their wrinkles .. I just saw these people that care about … Iam really trying to remember this …
Sure do love your book and blog … Thank you
Chris

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ade March 13, 2016 - 6:15 pm

Wrinles , getting old ? I am like Virginia, Countess of Castiglione , covering all the mirror in the house

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Janet Eiffel March 13, 2016 - 6:36 pm

I hate being old for the way it looks.
It really depresses me.
I feel great (physically).
I wish I looked that way too.
I love beautiful things and beautiful people.
I look at pictures of my young self and think,
I actually was pretty.
I look in the mirror now and see
a wrinkled up old lady.
Yes, very depressing.

Also depressing, I’ve been reading you for a
couple of years and this is my first comment.

Truth is, I love your blog.
You have inspired me to do many things
in my home and garden.

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Lissy March 13, 2016 - 7:00 pm

Sharon, you look FABULOUS! You are an inspiration to us all.
PS-people talk more about how bad others plastic surgery looks than about people with a few wrinkles. ‘Girl, why did she do that to her face-she was beautiful before.’
xo, Lissy

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Emm March 13, 2016 - 7:01 pm

So many interesting comments. On hair color, I didn’t want to do chemicals and so opted for using henna for a time. Messy, and you have to experiment with mixing colors, but it does work.
Then I began to notice some facial lines. And because gravity pulls muscles down as we age, I practiced smiling. Now I go around the house looking like the Cheshire Cat, but the downturned lines are leveling off and trending up.

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bonnie groves poppe March 13, 2016 - 7:41 pm

Yes, gravity is our enemy! I love your “smile” cure, I like to do it anyway!
bonnie in provence

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Heather in Arles March 13, 2016 - 7:35 pm

Of course I am smiling smugly to read all of these comments stating what a beauty you are, especially as I know very well how much courage it has taken on your part to “go public.” You are exactly “what you preach” and I think that your reader friends sense that too.

As things would have it, at 46 years old I have had quite a few women friends come into my life who are in their 70s over the past year (including the spit-fire Bonnie Groves Poppe above) and they are all, to the one, redefining so easily what that age means to be. Each has a totally unique style and is beautiful, strong and always far more interested and active than I am. “Inspiring” doesn’t begin to cover what I feel about being so honored as to call them my friends.

While I definitely still consider myself young, I have a very pronounced wrinkle inbetween my eyes that has come about due to having too much dental surgery when I was young. The muscles are too strong for Botox (I was an actress as you know, so I had to try) but I might try a filler just to soften it up a bit if I can. Not because I want to look any younger but because at a first glance I can look quite stern and mean – and that isn’t how I feel!

Thank you for this wonderfully written post (neither heavy-handed or sentimental) and to all of the women who have left such thought-provoking comments…

xo
h

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Judi March 13, 2016 - 9:44 pm

I hope I can be included in you 70+ friends. I just love having friends of all ages, it makes life so dynamic, points of view, knowledge, awareness – there’s always something that results in “oh, really, I hadn’t thought about that, or in that way, very interesting!’

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Emm March 14, 2016 - 3:39 am

I’d never done much in the way of creams and lotions and so on, then I started reading Tish Jett’s blog. A while back, she listed a number of supposedly good retinol-type creams, so I took my little list to CVS. Found one (Garnier) and used it regularly for a month.
I suspect it’s more the regular lubrication of skin and taking care of it, and the gentle massage, but I do think it’s made a real difference — including lessening a scar over an eyebrow. So now I’ve become a fan of cosmetics. Who knew?

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Kaye March 13, 2016 - 7:36 pm

I’ve loved reading all of these comments . . . thank you all! A couple of things . . . the reason I have not liked photos for the last few years is that I actually did not recognise the person in them! And then miraculously some were taken last summer with my tiny grand-daughter and a gorgeous big dahlia and I suddenly thought yes that’s me!
The one I recognise when I look in the mirror . . . Is it our failing eyesight or do digital cameras change our outlines and contours?? LOL!
And lastly . . . Zsa Zsa quote above though I was told it was Catherine Daneuve . . . this may change depending on the country you live in 🙂 I could never quite understand why you had to choose between your face or if in the UK your “bum”. Why should choosing a nice bum deny you a good face and vice versa? And I can say that at 66 my new joy pilates is helping the bum loads whilst I take care of the face with my little skincare rituals 🙂 – Fabulous post Sharon.

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Rebecca Stewart March 13, 2016 - 7:37 pm

Ms. Santoni,

I am your newest subscriber, as of yesterday..

YOU should ALWAYS remember:

Stay TRUE to who YOU are.
Be at peace with your natural beauty.
Enjoy LIFE.
Continue to take those lovely adventures in the forest.
PLAY.
Smell the flowers.
Enjoy your family (now I know you have a family!)
Surround yourself with likeminded people.
Be KIND.
Be STRONG.
Count your blessings.

Most of all, be comfortable with yourself at any stage along the journey.

I think this is going to be the start of a lovely new friendship,
Rebecca in America

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Jan March 13, 2016 - 7:37 pm

I think you have touched on a subject close to all of us “ladies”that are aware of our aging faces,bodies etc. especially when there was a time one was considered beautiful,pretty,not bad looking or whatever. But aging needs to be thought of as our passport in life and we should learn to be proud of those well earned lines,they are after all our history.
Don’t get me wrong I too have difficulty in accepting what looks back at me in the mirror,but although I was once considered beautiful, I try hard to come to terms with what is now there and am grateful for my life,my health and at 78 years old my lust and love of life.

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Stephanie March 13, 2016 - 7:40 pm

I love this posting…And thank you Sharon for continually giving your readers something to think about…You have given us such a gift: Yourself… It is so funny…I have never struggled with wrinkles…I take care of my skin but it certainly is not without flaws…Each wrinkle/line represents my journey in life. Whether good or bad there is not a lot I would change…because each moment and memory has made me the person I am today…I am far more confident than I ever…and yes I am more excited today embracing the world than I ever was at the pinnacle of my youth…Thank you again for allowing me the opportunity to read and experience your French life…and the bonus of meeting through your blog not only you Dear Sharon but your Fabulous Readers as well! ❤️

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Carolyn March 13, 2016 - 7:45 pm

Yes, all of us who are fortunate to live this long face this. But I think it’s important not to be obsessed by it. So many wonderful comments above. I’m 63, couldn’t afford surgery, botox, etc. even if I wanted them, so must accept what genetics and living have given me, though of course I try to take care of myself. And I believe an inner light and joy are the most attractive things. Last week we had young friends over with their children and the youngest boy who was six (the same age as my grandson) told his mother that he thought I was really young (for a grandmother, I assume). When his mother asked him how old he thought I was, he said ‘Thirty?’ Got to love it. By the way, I think you look gorgeous.

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Mumbai March 13, 2016 - 7:46 pm

My philosophy…As more as you think about your wrinkles etc. as older you will look.
Even I am not against pl.surgery if a woman wanted , I find older faces much more
interesting.

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Dawn Johnson March 13, 2016 - 8:07 pm

I have enjoyed reading everyone’s comments. It’s funny but as I look at photos of me from decades ago, I am more comfortable with how I look now. I too have always hated seeing myself in photos but I read one of the comments that said she wished she had more photos of her grandmother. I will keep that in mind. I am 57 now and by this time I am finally comfortable in my skin. I know what styles work for me and my body, I know what hair styles I feel best wearing and what kind of makeup regimen suits me. I am more confident now and don’t succumb to the latest fashion trends. I have more time and funds to do the things I want and have so many wonderful experiences in my memory “box” that fill me with joy. I agree with many of your readers that while a few minor procedures to improve oneself is certainly their choice, I would never agree to Botox or anything I consider dangerous to my body. It’s simply not worth it. I too think actors like Meryl Streep and Helen Mirren are stunning as are many others. And I find it so sad when I see so many actors women and men who have had so much done to their face. I think all those procedures automatically age them. There is such a telltale look that is so artificial and it doesn’t seem to hold up and they start getting asymmetrical looking. It’s really a shame when I see women younger than me getting all this work done on their faces and it changes their looks so much. I am thinking “why” “why did they do this” it doesn’t improve them at all in my opinion.

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Julia March 13, 2016 - 8:21 pm

I’ve never been one to spend time on my looks, other than a clean, wholesome appearance and decent clothing, which is probably a good thing since last year I found myself a regular visitor at the local cancer hospital in Oxford.
After quite extensive surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy I am now lop-sided, burnt, bruised and sporting very, very short hair and eyelashes.
But, happy to still be alive and not at all concerned about wrinkles and scars 🙂

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Sharon Santoni March 14, 2016 - 10:32 pm

Hi Julia

So sorry to hear that you have been ill with cancer, I am sure that the surgery and treatment must have been very hard to handle

take care

x

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Nancy March 13, 2016 - 8:33 pm

I too am camera shy for the same reason – not looking how I feel – like that young, more slender, agile person I was 30+ years ago. When I approached 60, I remember reading an interview of Elizabeth McGovern (Lady Cora on Downton Abbey.) Her comments on aging really left an impression. She specifically talked about her wrinkles – loving them and not wanting to hide them – loving aging! Of course, she has aged beautifully, so it’s easy to say “who cares!” Still, I admire anyone who embraces their age and accepts that they were once young, but now are not…. To my eye, you have aged beautifully too. And you have such talent! When I get nostalgic about the passing years, I look back at old photos. Just wondering – would you be willing to share old photos? Thanks for all you do. I love your blog and treasure all your beautiful pictures.

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Colleen Taylor March 13, 2016 - 9:24 pm

Excellent post! I wish I had the time to read every single response here because many hit close to my heart. Sharon, first off, you are a beautiful woman in every way. I too dislike growing older & looking older. I shy away from the front of any camera; my place will always be behind it unless I’m caught off guard. I won’t & don’t embrace the aging process gracefully, however, what I do embrace is being healthy & keeping my weight down.

I’m somewhat nostalgic about my younger former self but I don’t dwell upon it. This older thing isn’t for sissies is it?

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sheri March 13, 2016 - 9:31 pm

You’re a class act……………………………….end of story.

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Suzana Rose Borlovan March 13, 2016 - 10:01 pm

Sharon,
I will be 50 in May and my wrinkles and grey hair are who I am. I have laughed and cried over the years, shared fun times and sorrow with family and friends, I wouldn’t change this for anything, it is who I am, who I have become. It may not be pretty to others but they are my life’s journey and I have earned each and every one. Suzana xxx

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Elise McCune March 13, 2016 - 10:04 pm

I look towards women like Helen Mirren and Maggie Smith to show us how to grow old gracefully. I have enough common sense to realise magazine women have been photoshopped but it’s something we must make sure our daughters and granddaughters know. I guess a lot of women could have learnt a foreign language in the time they spend looking in the mirror. I also think some older European women have worked out the way to look good without a facelift or botox…it’s something to do with inner beauty…think of Vanessa Redgrave who I doubt has had any ‘work’ done on her face. She has suffered great tragedy in her life but keeps ‘working’ as her lost daughter would have wanted. After a ‘certain’ (and this varies) age we can’t look twenty again and the wrinkles on our bodies can’t be botoxed out! Eat healthily, exercise and dress down rather than up. If anyone makes you feel old move on. Enjoy life and friends and yes slather on some face cream (the one I use is marvellous) wear a hat in the sun and take time to smell the daisies.

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Penny Kweder March 13, 2016 - 10:26 pm

Whoa! You probably didn’t think you’d get so many replys on this issue. All I have to do is listen to that voice. English accent and all, and I am charmed. And you look fabulous. Do invest in a little filler, or lasar treatment. It is minimal, and will make you feel as if you are taking care of yourself, without going under the knife, so to speak. Cheers! Love what you are doing with the videos!
Penny

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Pat March 13, 2016 - 10:28 pm

Hi Sharon,
Love your videos, and your blog never fails to inspire me. It seems as women we always have some issue to deal with no matter our age. When we are younger, we worry about being taken seriously bc of our youth and lack of life experiences, when we age we have the life experiences written all over our face, and we worry that someone will be disappointed by our physical appearance. So yes, just embrace the changes, wrinkles and all and get on with it.
xo Pat

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LA CONTESSA March 13, 2016 - 10:42 pm

HOW FUNNY!I just finished a POST on ME , MYSELF and I too to be PUBLISHED tomorrow morning!I was given a FAIRY WAND for CHRISTMAS (SELFIE STICK).It took me THREE months to take it out of the BOX!
I really don’t think the younger set think anything about what they are doing or HOW they come across…………
I recently have been “TESTING” the waters with instagram I definitely GET more likes with ME in the PHOTO then say an ANIMAL!Food gets VERY little LIKES…………with me.
SO, I have GONE TO TOWN with the FAIRY WAND as I call it as the people who gave it to me call ME THEIR FAIRY GODMOTHER!!!!
For ME it’s a visual to see what happens this coming YEAR.Most likely I will think I looked pretty darn GOOD in these photos a year or two from now………………It’s just a bit of HISTORY to store for the FUN of IT!!!
AS for YOU………………YOU will LOOK GREAT NO MATTER WHAT!We have ALL seen an updated PHOTO of YOU since your book so YOU will not get those “LOOKS” anyMORE!Those LOOKS came from the OLD photo you had on the BLOG for YEARS…………….I personally was SURPRISED but VERY HAPPY TO MEET YOU!!!!

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Isabelle Rundstedt March 13, 2016 - 10:45 pm

Dearest Sharon,

Thank you for your very authentic post. It made me think of something I often thought about and was brought home very clearly yesterday in an unexpected was. I was brought up by the most beautiful mother, anyone still pales next to her and we all have. I for that matter look more like my father, not bad, but different in every way. Anyway, I remember, it was always terribly important to look beautiful and groomed, whenever we went out together, even if I felt like in a straight jacket. Yesterday I took my seven year old daughter for the first time to my favorite art fair in Maastricht and was fussing all over her. She put a stop to it, saying – Mom I will not come, if all you want is to show me off, I do not want to be the most beautiful girl there and everyone to notice my lovely hair. I only come, because the fair is important to you. And this made me realize, that my little girl had understood and had the courage to voice something, I had never dared till today yet always thought and lived for. I believe, that true inner beauty and happiness comes, when you pay attention to what really matters and do not get lost in superficiallities, even if everyone tells you you should. For that matter, I saw many once surely beautiful women in Maastricht, whose bank balance obviously allowed generous sessions at the clinic. In a way it felt that the money would have been better invested in on one of your brocante tours… Yours Isabelle

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Therese March 16, 2016 - 3:55 pm

Never to old to see a new perspective. Good for you.

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Diana March 13, 2016 - 11:20 pm

Think of your face like a rose. It has beauty at every stage of its life from the bud to the faded full blown flower. Different but still in its way beautiful

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Sylvia Faye March 14, 2016 - 12:58 am

An acceptence of yourself at all ages is what the good Lord intented us to do.
Would needs not think so much of aging as being grateful for each day that comes your way. Be more thankful for each day and you will be more charming from within as that untimately is where beauty comes from. Not the artifical outward beauty that is ‘truly only skindeep’. Be real and you will be a welcome guest at any gathering and joyful is such a pleasant asset.
I am over 80 and glad not to be young. Glad I was born into a more God-fearing, people loving world where one knew the boundaries for living life in a family as it should be lived. Thank heaven for the commandment ‘Do unto others the way you would have them do unto you’ and your face will be uplifted naturally with a smile and a spring in your step. Get and stay real and this is where Sharon shines.

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Virginia Kidd March 14, 2016 - 1:30 am

Hi Sharon,
I am two weeks into post face-lift, I am extremely happy with the results, I
am 67yrs.. and would do it again .I had no pain whatsoever, and no pain-killers after the second day, although was uncomfortable….

I feel fresh and revitalized….
Facing the future …

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Sharon Santoni March 14, 2016 - 10:33 pm

Good for you Virgina, the most important thing is to feel comfortable and confident. I’m so glad you are happy with your treatment

xx

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Carla G March 16, 2016 - 3:24 pm

I agree.. You have to be comfortable with the choices you make regarding your health and appearance. I am 53, just became a grandmother, have been covering my gray for almost 20 years, have had fillers, regular chemical peels, Botox a couple times a year for the last few years, exercise and have done Pilates for the past 8 years. I do not feel that I am putting poison in my system by getting Botox any more if i was taking other approved medications that I might need. Entrusting your care to competent health care professionals can yield natural results. All this doesn’t make me who I am but I do want to present a youthful appearance as long as I can. I would have no qualms about a face lift in the future if I decided the time was right. After reading all the comments, we may be in the minority. I applaud your decision to do what was right for you and am happy you are pleased with the results.

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Sandy M. March 14, 2016 - 3:21 am

When we are young we seem to judge our worthiness by how many heads we can turn. As we get older and the attention stops we have to look inward to figure out who we are and why we matter. The person who looks back at us in the mirror doesn’t always reflect the way we feel inside. Since time and gravity have their way we must use our eyes to reflect our passions, our smile to greet the world and attitude to lift our spirits. Spreading love, compassion, honesty and friendliness will help wipe away the wrinkles and replace them with beauty inside and out

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Marilyn March 14, 2016 - 3:34 am

There are indeed things I don’t like with aging, including saggy skin under my chin, but Yes! Finances would need to be more than I have to deal with it. I just have to ignore it and look the other way. Looking forward to your video.

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Bette March 14, 2016 - 1:51 pm

Your post hit my “age spot” so to speak. I love the following thoughts on aging that I read somewhere (if I could remember, I would give credit to the author) and wanted to share with you.

Better not younger?
Something worries me about ageing and it is certainly not the process for I have come to terms with this some time ago. What really bothers me is the popular idea that to age well we must appear younger; younger in looks, in body and even in mind. Who decided that ageing well means we should automatically strive to look younger?

I don’t want to look “younger, I have decided as I age I want to be better.
Better in the overall sense; in the way I think, I move, I look. I want to take advantage of the years and put to use not only the experiences but also the mistakes. Maturity is something to be cherished and celebrated, not something to hide and push under the covers.
I don’t really want to look like a 30 year old but I do wish I had worked it better back then. You never know what you had until it’s gone.
This is the one piece of advice I have shared with my daughters, to revel in how they look now and celebrate their youth and beauty.

It goes without saying the physical changes of maturity are confronting at times. The grey hair on a bad day is enough to have me calling the colourist and begging for “younger”. So far I have resisted but it is not painless.

Who doesn’t look in the mirror and wonder who is that person looking back? When I see myself truly, with bright lights and magnification, I take a deep breath and remember all that has happened to be here in the first place; the good, the bad and the in-between. I hold that thought.

It doesn’t mean I like the reflection, hardly ever, but I do strive to see a better version of my younger self and not a younger version of my older self.

There is a big difference.

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Diana March 15, 2016 - 12:28 am

Beautifully put!

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Maria March 14, 2016 - 1:58 pm

Thank you for creating this forum for us to share our thoughts about a topic that has so many perspectives.
My basic thought is that with every wrinkle I earn comes a greater sense of self. Every day I’m just so much more appreciative of all I have experienced both good and bad as everything has a lesson to be gained. Hopefully we will all be blessed with time to get more wrinkles. As for me, I’m not interested in ps, but never say never;) I have my fair share of sterling hair and am letting it blend in with my natural black hair and so far it’s not so bad. I try to stay young at heart, be as involved with family and friends as possible, keep moving and do the things I love to do!
I so look forward to your next video.

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Sandy March 14, 2016 - 3:21 pm

Being a kind and loving person, what could be more beautiful

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Valorie March 14, 2016 - 3:50 pm

Oh Lord, can I ever relate! I’m a Virgo, we’re known for our critical nature, mostly of ourselves. I hate the way my face has aged. I take good care of my skin, though I can no longer afford facials that I once enjoyed. I try to eat well, but fall off that bandwagon too when my emotions get the best of me. I’ve had an accident that affected my face and right eye. I had brilliant reconstructive surgeons who did their best on me, but as time wears on their work fades and I’ve not gone back for touch ups.

You are so talented and seem so self-confident to me that I’m surprised you also struggle with this issue, but it endears me to you even more. The few photos I’ve seen of you, you are quite beautiful. You live in a beautiful place with a beautiful home and gardens and a loving family. Don’t worry about the thoughts of those of us who only wish we could be you. xx

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Tara March 14, 2016 - 4:04 pm

It’s hard to watch yourself grow older, I will admit. Short of throwing lots of money at the issue, plastic surgery, botox, fillers, etc. There isn’t really anything you can do about it, the alternative stinks. So take care of yourself, skin care, exercise, it’s all worth it, and if you still miss the younger you, take your glasses off, look in the mirror and there is your 21 year old self! Like magic everything fades, softens, you look wonderful! Works for me.

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Avril March 14, 2016 - 5:25 pm

Take your glasses off, look in the mirror by candlelight, use the soft focus or black and white on photographs…but enjoy being you, having fun means you don’t have time to think about wrinkles. At 70 I have never been happier in my own skin.

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Marian from England March 14, 2016 - 6:32 pm

I saw this one day:
“Wrinkles are where the smiles have been”
How true – we must remember that above all else!

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Diana March 14, 2016 - 7:26 pm

I will be 70 in July, and like Avril, I have never been as comfortable in my own skin. I am glad I was born when I was. I went gray in my early 30’s, so people began assuming I was much older, so I colored it until my 50’s. When I quit coloring my hair, I was sometimes depressed when people saw only the silver hair and thought I was 20 years older, but not so much that I wanted to go back to coloring it.
I live in the state of Oregon on the West Coast of the US, and I see 20 to 40 year olds–many of whom are quite obese and covered with tattoos, that terrible complexions, greasy or very dry hair wearing clothes that are too small. I just can’t find the beauty there, but perhaps they are actually comfortable in their own skin.

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Therese March 16, 2016 - 3:48 pm

Diana, I agree with you…I live just outside of Portland and see things much as you do. Sadly natural beauty in youth is becoming a thing of the past in so many ways. I don’t understand it?

Good for you, I am 61 and haven’t gone gray yet. My daughter is a stylist and encourages me to wait until I am a bit older. I know women that look fabulous at 70! It’s all a state of mind.

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Lynne B. March 15, 2016 - 1:57 am

Such a good post and replies.
I’m 67 soon and don’t like my wrinkles, but prefer them to looking like a “pekingese” as so many do after a refresh. I have friends who have had a little work done and look good – the trick seems to be knowing when to stop!
Can I add – you look and sound fantastic in your videos Sharon.

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Elsie March 15, 2016 - 5:58 am

Oh my gosh, you’re gorgeous! Why worry about a few wrinkles.
Let’s face it, we’ll never have the skin we had at age twenty but you have a beautiful figure and you’re so chic. I would be thrilled! Without sounding rude, I would agree with your daughters.
I love your blog, it’s fabulous!!

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Jeni Maus March 15, 2016 - 6:57 pm

I love this, Sharon. So true, so honest and I can relate with everything you said. I am so glad that I get to say I know how beautiful you are inside and out, and that is what is most important. Love you, and thank you for your honesty in this article!

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Therese March 16, 2016 - 3:34 pm

Yes…although you make the positive points of how we should feel about aging I feel the same way you do. I miss the younger version of myself…I now see a wrinkled neck and think to myself…wow I am getting older and time is flying much too quickly!

I just got back from a girls trip with my oldest & dearest friends. We always talk about this. We are now all 60-61 and can’t believe how fast the time is passing now…I try to take the time to enjoy the good things life has to offer on a daily basis, I don’t take for granted the time I spend with those I love. I try to think of things that encourage me to be a better person and not think so much about what once was. Thank you for sharing your thoughts…I think anyone over 40 has had similar ones at some point. We can only strive to grow older with grace….

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Ali March 16, 2016 - 10:53 pm

I think you look terrific Sharon, but I have the same worries of being photographed or filmed. I have felt this way since my late teens. In the last few years to my horror I have had a few friends post old photos of me on social media which make me cringe. More recently On a trip away with friends a few photos were snapped and then posted to social media. I feel awful about myself since, I am in my late forties with hardly any wrinkles but looking very fat compared to my gorgeous slim friends in the pictures and looking terrible in glasses, I have never been happy about having to wear glasses in the last few years and have never found a pair I feel attractive in.

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Jane Cammann March 20, 2016 - 1:57 pm

Hello Sharon,
Not only do I not care to have my photo taken, I do not like hearing my voice on tape. On the topic of your post, however, I worry less about the wrinkles I encounter but much more about the sun damage my skin incurred in my younger days. Vanity aside, I am beginning to have pre/cancerous spots emerge on my face and other places. This is very scary and I got for checks every six months. I go to my doctor in a few days and I worry that I have bad spots where I can’t see. In all, this is my real concern.
I thoroughly you, your posts, your videos, and My Stylish French Girlfriends!

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Sandy March 22, 2016 - 2:42 am

I haven’t read the comments yet, but I want to say this:

1. I read your blog all the time and had no idea what you looked like, your age, zero expectations.
2. I just watched my first video and it was extremely well done! And you are beautiful! My goodness, such style, and you have a lovely voice.

As we get older, and I just broke 50, it’s hard to release youth and become into who we are, but you are doing it with grace and style.

One of the most delightful complements I have ever received was from a perfect stranger…she stopped me on the street and said, are you from here? (I live in a town on the very west coast of the US) I said yes, why? I thought perhaps she was asking for directions. And she clasped her hands in front of her, as in delight, and said “my dear. You don’t look like you belong here. You look as if you should be walking the streets of Paris with your grace and style.” Wasn’t that a wonderful thing to say? How kind of her to share that with me.

But you? To my western eye you DO belong on the beautiful streets of Paris. Don’t change a thing, my dear.

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