acting my age

by Sharon Santoni

If there is one thing I never expected to have to worry about as I grew older, it was acting my age.  That would be the sort of thing that should come naturally , right?   And yet here I am, thinking about it a lot.  And I’m wondering how many of you find yourself in a similar situation.

My husband and I have a fairly busy social life, with an eclectic group of friends of different ages and from different walks of life.  That’s what keeps it interesting.

Through the blog and the stuff I do around the blog,  I often find myself working with, and surrounded by people a lot younger than me.  Be it photographers on a shoot, suppliers to the Box, or even a lawyer or accountant, I’m often  the oldest one in the room.

Nothing wrong with that I hear you say, and I agree, I love it.  It’s stimulating, and lively and it keeps me on my toes.   But while I am swept along in the young-busy-fuzz, I sometimes get pulled up short by the look in someone’s eye, or a casual comment, which reminds me that I am, well, looking slightly out of place.

Being a relatively free spirit, I guess I can simply sweep aside the surprised glances, and I don’t mind the questions, and I certainly love steep learning curves …. but the thing that I can’t deal with is the idea that I may look ridiculous because I am doing something age-inappropriate.

I can hear you saying, “when did she make herself look ridiculous?!….. what did she do?! ….”.     So far my answer  is “Never, and nothing …. or at least, I hope”.

Recently I was invited to speak at a professional conference.  Before going, I was looking forward to sharing my experience, and yet also feeling pretty nervous.   The conference was a sort of bloggy/website/techy thing, and I was invited to talk on a specific theme, namely how someone my age ends up with a blog, and what I can bring to blogging thanks to my “greater life experience”!  (and yeah, I know, “greater life experience” is just a nice way of saying, “wow!  really?… that old?!”  )

It went well.  I spoke, I took a lot of questions and I learnt a lot, and met some fascinating people…. but still I came out of it feeling incredibly relieved, thinking “Phew! I think I pulled that off.”

So my question to you is how do you handle this?    We are a privileged generation, keeping fit for longer, and thanks to internet and this fast changing world, we have a million new opportunities open to us at almost any age.    But do you think we should stick to our own age groups, and age-appropriate activities, or should we continue to push boundaries and ignore convention?

And what about the physical aspects?   In this world where ‘youth is truth’, and there are so many cosmetic solutions out there for keeping the wrinkles and the saggy cheeks at bay, how far do we each need to go to continue feeling ‘comfortable in our skin’?

I’m sure you have all thought about this, and found your own middle road.  But I’d love to know if you ever find yourself feeling out of place.  Or if you’ve seen a girlfriend the same age as you doing something that has made you feel uncomfortable, and you’ve been tempted to say something?

Let’s celebrate together the freedom we have to continue to create, and explore and grow ….. and let’s watch each others backs!

…….

PS.    the next day …..  I am bowled over my readers!!!! Thank you so much for all these amazing comments!   I apologise but it isn’t possible for me to reply to each comment, but I have read every single one, and I am beyond proud to be in such great company!  You are total stars, and great inspiration!

130 comments

alexa Pike March 1, 2018 - 1:31 pm

Being able to know how to gently give BLESSINGS and how to graciously receive them is AGELESS. This is our part in making the world a better place to live.

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Heather Scott March 1, 2018 - 3:14 pm

I am now 57 years of age and I sometimes feel the time I have lived so far. I too have a busy life and still have a 14 year old at home. Whenever I see someone older I try and remember that there is still a 5 year old, 21 year old, 37 year old spirit inside that person. As I age I still try to ride that skate board (mentally if not physically) everyday.

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Shirley Cole March 1, 2018 - 6:22 pm

Love your post. Many years ago, one of my grandsons asked his Mom, my daughter, when is Nana going to start wearing house dresses. I still wear jeans, tees & sneakers. My tee shirt says.”Take Me To Paris.” I have been, but would love to go again. I am 80 & very happy to be here.

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Mary E Stawarz March 1, 2018 - 8:45 pm

What’s a house dress!!! I love the tee shirt. I am 63 so I guess I will be buying jeans for awhile. You made me smile.

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Carol March 1, 2018 - 10:31 pm

Love this post x

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Sue March 4, 2018 - 3:51 pm

I love this blog post and I love your answer. I am 63 and I still wear jeans and sneakers too. Life is too short not to be comfortable.

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Maria March 2, 2018 - 1:33 am

I would like to know, “where does it say that we have to act a certain way as one grows older”. If anyone knows, please let me know! I turned 60 last year and sometimes I feel like l’m 20 or like a child…lol! I say…if you feel good on the inside, it will show on the outside. I love to dress up and put make-up, I feel great, so I’m going to live it up. We only have one life. And if no one likes it…oh well!

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Janis Scott March 14, 2019 - 1:25 pm

Hi Iam loving this post. I am 73 in August and I still wear jeans and t-shirts. I wear clothes that are not too tight and not too lose. I enjoy life and the majority of my friends are in their 50s and a couple in their 40s.

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Rem March 4, 2018 - 11:06 pm

I heard this once and it resonated with me. Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. You know the other saying dance like no one is watching, well I say live like no one is watching. I have learned to live like no one is watching and I am happy. What you do brightens the world I enjoy reading your posts and seeing which corners of the world fellow readers are from. Your blog in a gem.

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ch m d’I April 6, 2021 - 2:49 pm

So well said…I couldn’t do better, the lockdowns put me in a new state of mind , wondering …but it will pass.
A French writer said once “ Don’t ask me about my age, it varies everyday “…

Thank you for the JDD ‘s lines on your achievements.

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Ann Macnaughton March 1, 2018 - 1:34 pm

Sharon we are indeed the golden generation. I’m a bit older than you (74) and am lucky to have good general health. Do what you feel able to do, wear what you can wear ( size, physical fitness) and try to enjoy every day. Well, not every day, that would be unrealistic. Having lust two dear friends brings home the uncertainty of life. I live to dip into your life (made the lemon tart). Here in Ireland we are having heavy snow – very unusual. So going out to walk & enjoy it.
Continued good health and energy to you. anniescountrycottage

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Cathy March 1, 2018 - 1:34 pm

Happiness and joy are ageless

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Kathi Koegle March 1, 2018 - 11:58 pm

To that, I would add a grateful heart!

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Nuala Raftery March 1, 2018 - 1:36 pm

I was 74 on Sunday yet I’m still trying to figure out what I’m going to do when I grow up! Most of my time is spent in a remote area in the country, though I have a house in town as well. I live alone and I’m totally independent. I have as much energy as I had at 18. I never think in terms of age and all my friends are younger than me. I don’t believe one should sit in the corner, draped in a shawl after a certain age. So what if I embarrass my granddaughters dancing 60s style? So what if I wear skinny jeans on the odd occasion? I’m proud I can do so much at this age.

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Lynne March 1, 2018 - 3:53 pm

Wow! I will be 60 this year, I can only hope to be like you when I’m 74 you sound like a great person.

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bonnie groves poppe March 2, 2018 - 10:40 am

I’m your age and have given up the skinny jeans (never were comfortable) but do pretty much everything I have always done. Home repair, gardening and tree work, occasional car repair, bit of concrete and stone building, sewing, decorating, you name it. If I don’t do something, its because I don’t want to! I have lost several friends before their time which has made me treasure every friend and every day.
bonnie in provence

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Ruth March 9, 2018 - 8:56 pm

Your last sentence is a lovely way of thinking about friends. Thank you.

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Cindy March 10, 2018 - 6:41 pm

Bravo! You have it right!
We all need to think this way!

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Nuala Raftery March 1, 2018 - 1:41 pm

Do you know Britain’s best loved poem, When I am an old woman, by Jenny Joseph? That’s my anthem.

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Judy March 1, 2018 - 1:42 pm

I think that age is more a “state of mind” than a number. I love being around younger people and can’t imagine living in an environment where there are only older people. I’m 75 and don’t feel that old. I feel like I can be myself no matter the age of the people I’m with. If I want to act silly, I do. I think the only person embarrassed by that is my 40 year old son, but he’s learned to accept it. One thing I do notice is that we often become invisible to young people. I have a friend who says, “What does it matter what I wear–I’m old and nobody looks at me.” As far as “nips and tucks” I think if it makes you feel better about aging–go for it! I probably won’t do it, but I’m supportive of those who decide to have a facelift, tummy tuck–whatever makes them feel more attractive.

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Robin Sheldon March 1, 2018 - 2:36 pm

One of the great luxuries in my life (now 74) is that I feel I’ve earned the right not to care too much what others think. Embarrassing my children now and then seems poetically justified. The joy I’ve found in returning to my essential self is the best part of adding the years. Most of my friends are younger than I and they keep me current – it’s not the same as acting too young for my age.
Maintenance has become a bit more time consuming. Staying healthy is a priority. Wear the skinny jeans and stilettos or whatever else brings you joy. If someone judges you it’s way more their problem than yours!!

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Cindy March 1, 2018 - 3:55 pm

Love love love your attitude❤️

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SuzQuz March 1, 2018 - 4:35 pm

I’m even older, and I agree with everything you’ve said. I think laughter keeps one young. And if you don’t have people around you who make you laugh, maybe it’s time to look further! I love to make people laugh. It might be my mission in life!!!

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Ciel March 1, 2018 - 5:41 pm

The axiom “It’s none of my business what other people think of me” seems to fit here!
I have wondered when women start wearing the polyester elastic waisted pants and sweatshirts with kitties and birdhouses? And why? It won’t be me!

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Victoria Savu March 1, 2018 - 6:00 pm

Funny about the sweatshirt.My husband bought me a pink one with snow flakes on it for Christmas. I will never wear it. When will he notice???

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Cindy March 10, 2018 - 6:43 pm

love it! I guess our kids forget!

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bonnie groves poppe March 2, 2018 - 10:41 am

Yes to all of that (I’m 74). I too have noticed the invisibility, which in a way is very welcome, I can get away with more.
bonnie in provence

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Karen March 1, 2018 - 1:57 pm

Acting my age (66) pops into my head every once in awhile. It did the other day when I was in a store pushing my 3 year old grandson in the shopping cart and we were racing up and down the aisles, literally with me running and him saying ready, set, go.

Most of my friends seem stuck and comfortable in their creativity and I have found myself distancing myself from that. Boring…yawn. Ok for them but I still want to explore and yearn for experimenting.

And so I say go for the unknown and the fun and the nervousness that it may bring with it. Life is so much more exciting that way!

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MarilynL March 3, 2018 - 3:26 pm

The bit about your grandson made me laugh. I’m 71 now and last year I was walking round a large garden centre with my granddaughter when suddenly she dropped my hand and with a shout of “run nanna, run” off she went, followed by nanna who luckily can still run!

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Maureen Beaucond March 1, 2018 - 1:58 pm

A big thank you goes to Janet Coon for introducing me to your blog. Your thinking is so me! I have a mindset that I’ll always be young and wild whether my body looks my age or not! Isn’t 70 the new 50?

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Kitsy Keel Smith March 1, 2018 - 8:16 pm

People tell me to act my age, but I don’t know how. I’ve never been this age before.

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Sherry March 1, 2018 - 11:30 pm

Ha ha, I’m going to use that one. I’m new to 70 this year and have not yet figured out how a person my age is supposed to act. For me, I think I have reached the age of just have fun. If you want the shoes, buy them. If something is funny, laugh out loud. Even if it makes you pee a little. Who knows how long you get to be a goofy senior.

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Julie Purdey Kyabram Australia March 4, 2018 - 8:29 am

I like this philosophy Sheri. I’ll be 69 next month. I think I’ll pinch it!

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Jan Nisbet March 1, 2018 - 2:04 pm

I actually have not thought about this much.
I believe in authenticity, being who God made us to be, at any age. I am off to try out a new wave runner, as I live in a warm climate. I will enjoy seeing the bottlenose dolphins up close. I am 68 next week and enjoying the beauty of the Lowcountry of South Carolina and thanking God for it every day. God bless all the women who are being “themselves” at any age.

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Janet @shabbyfufu March 1, 2018 - 2:05 pm

Sharon…I posted this in my over 50 Facebook bloggers group because it really hit home! I have taught photography and styling at a couple of blog conferences and definitely have my share of seeing that look from others who could be my children. When you put yourself out there in public as we do in our professional lives it can be intimidating, but I wouldn’t change it for anything else.

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Marilyn March 1, 2018 - 2:06 pm

Wow! This post is exactly what has been on my mind as I approach 75 soon. I do find that I love the energy of younger adults and I don’t really have many friends my own age. Thankfully I inherited good skin from my mother and so can pass for about 10 years younger. I do work out at the gym and love the connections I have made online. Like someone else said, it is just a state of mind, though wishing my body felt a bit younger at times. I love that I can go and do, including zip lining.

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Linda Spies March 1, 2018 - 2:08 pm

I may grow old – it seems to be mandatory in this life – but I shall never grow up. I mean, where does it say only the young get to have all the fun? So if I want to run with the dogs and slide down the hill on a piece of cardboard, who cares? Not I, that is for sure. “Bloom where you are planted” and do it well. “Upright and unembalmed, and gratefully so” is my motto and I live everyday to the utmost – well almost everyday.
MissLindy

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judith March 1, 2018 - 4:54 pm

I like your saying; mine is “Upright, ambulatory, in possession of my faculties, and able to care for myself.” Judith

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bonnie groves poppe March 2, 2018 - 10:44 am

I’ve always liked “Every day above ground is a good day” and “I woke up on the right side of the grass, I won.” Both of these from people older than I am (74).
bonnie in provence

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Bebe March 4, 2018 - 6:04 pm

“Still standing erect and taking nourishment”….from a spunky man we know…

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Victoria Savu March 1, 2018 - 6:03 pm

Love your post.

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Terry March 1, 2018 - 2:12 pm

I recently lived for two years in Portland, OR after spending my life in California. I was happily surprised that young people in Portland did not seem to treat me differently because I am older. I eat in healthy, organic restaurants and was often the oldest person in juice bars, yoga studios, etc. It was a lovely, new experience to feel visible again.

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Jan March 1, 2018 - 2:13 pm

Hi Sharon, you have really opened Pandora’s box here,this is an issue that is being discussed far and wide at the moment. There is no answer except to be thankful people are now being aware that the over 50’s exist in their own right instead of being put out to pasture. I am in my 80’s still very active,do 2 fashion shows a year here in France,am lucky to travel a lot and have good health. Is it all in the mind I’m not sure,energy levels are not the same but in a way I enjoy giving in and saying I’m going to sit down and read.
We’ve earned it. Bisous. Jan.

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Susan in Georgia March 1, 2018 - 2:21 pm

At age 68, I find that the young people who know me best, nieces and nephews, enjoy my energy and activity level. Love that we share the same love of fashion, books, design, interesting blogs (yours!).They find my volunteer activities interesting. Others who may seem surprised, treat me as if I’m invisible…that’s their loss, doesn’t effect my sense of me.

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Alice Genzlinger March 1, 2018 - 2:23 pm

Went white headed fairly early in life so I began coloring my hair. I stopped coloring about 10 years ago, I’m 76, and when I stopped dying my hair I couldn’t get people to wait on me. Also they wouldn’t look me in the eye. Returned to dying because I have a patch of psoriasis on my head and the shampoo I use to control it turned my hair orange. Amazingly people started waiting on me again. Also when driving people don’t try to run over me now. I have a pretty good stamina and don’t let things get under my skin. I have been a distance walker for 35 years and people say I don’t look my age. You are old as you think you are and if you think you are old your brain will make you old.

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Pat March 1, 2018 - 3:26 pm

I did the same thing with my hair…turned gray around my mid-thirties and began to color. I had breast cancer and lost all my hair in ’95, let it go gray a while then colored…lost it all again in ’14 going through uterine cancer, let it stay gray until this past fall. I love the colors my stylist uses and I have had the same kind of response…little attention when gray and attention when I color, ha! For me it was about the combination of my skin tone and the gray just washed me out. Do what makes you happy and gives you a thrill for as long as you can!!

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Alice Genzlinger March 1, 2018 - 8:17 pm

God bless you Pat. Color on❤️

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Angela Muller March 1, 2018 - 9:10 pm

Pat, I wrote earlier about looking for role models that confirm we count whatever our age. I’ve found another one in you! Beautiful post! God bless you!

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Taste of France March 1, 2018 - 2:26 pm

I think I would avoid skateboarding, if only because I don’t want to waste time on a broken wrist.
Among our set of friends (who mostly are neighbors), I am either the youngest or nearly, depending on whether a newly arrived, younger couple joins us. At the same time, I am old enough to be the mother of the parents of most of my kids’ friends, because I had a child very late. They know I’m older, but they don’t realize by how much. My kid is extremely proud of the fact that I pass for younger, which is all due to genes/luck, exercise and avoidance of sun–no fancy creams or needles.
I see photos of my mother and my grandmothers from when they were my age, and they look as if they had resigned themselves to being “old,” even my hyperkinetic grandma who at 85 had the legs of a 16-year-old and could high kick. She never would have ridden a bike. Or gone spelunking or snorkeling or other things I do. I’m not going to dress like a lamb but I’m also not going to accept frumpiness, whether in fashion or attitude.
OTOH, I sometimes get hit by the feeling that I’m out of step. I also spoke recently at a conference. Attendees were mostly male, in a very conservative industry and locale. I wore a suit and was shocked to see that the few women were quite casually dressed (the men did wear suits). Similar case on a visit to a client in Paris–the women were dressed in a way I never would have considered right for work, and the men were all in office casual–and I wore a pantsuit. It isn’t a question about the suit but about the level of formality in business. Also, for the first time I was old enough to be the mother of everybody on the team I met with. It was disconcerting.

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Deborah March 1, 2018 - 5:05 pm

The whole casual business dress thing is challenging for us! I remember when it was such a big deal for women to wear pants to work.

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Mary Ellen Eckels March 1, 2018 - 2:41 pm

Love this post, Sharon, and thank you for being such a lovely blessing in our lives. Frankly, I really don’t think about it in terms of age – for me it’s more about appropriateness, etc. I was blessed to have three strong, older women in my life growing up – my Mom, and my grandmothers. They were very self-confident (though I’m sure they had their private moments of indecision,etc) and they all aged gracefully. I think in particular of my Mom and her mother, who btw was a beautiful French woman. Their choices and behavior was more about what was true to themselves, and what was courteous, thoughtful of others. Age never came into it much – although my Mom would say often “I’m too old to be cute” lol whenever my sisters and I would tell her she looked ‘so cute’ in something. I speak alot publicly and am often in the public eye with my work in nonprofit. One of the gifts I love about age is the confidence and self-knowledge that comes with it. I still have moments of insecurity when I push myself to try something new or daring, but I do it anyway. It’s certainly not comfortable lol – but I never regret trying. And I LOVE the pix of Katherine Hepburn above – I’m from her home area and she has always been an icon for strength in beauty for me. 🙂

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Debbie Spence March 1, 2018 - 2:42 pm

I’m so thankful for your honesty and transparency. I’m a 57 yr old blogger/writer just now developing my career. I’ve been a homeschooling mom the past 27 years and put off working on this life-long dream. I’m not sorry but I do feel older than the others out there. My 17 year old daughters remind me that I’m old enough to be their grandma, so I’m a late starter in many areas. Thank God there is no expiration date on creativity, desire and persistence. It is absolutely TRUE that with age comes wisdom. It also comes with clearer vision, knowing what really matters and a confidence we tend to lack in our youth. We understand that time is precious and I feel we have great insight to offer others. I LOVE your blog, your boxes, your home and the life I imagine you live. I don’t follow blogs of 30 year olds who don’t yet understand. We ARE acting our age. We are offering the world the gifts we have been given that never expire. Keep going my dear friend!!!

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Mary Ellen Eckels March 1, 2018 - 4:30 pm

Love this, Debbie. Especially “no expiration date on creativity” – beautiful.

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downraspberrylane March 1, 2018 - 7:00 pm

“We are offering the world the gifts we have been given that never expire.” Yes!

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Suzanne Grable March 1, 2018 - 7:07 pm

Downraspberrylane, love what you said.

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Gail March 1, 2018 - 2:44 pm

Thank you for this post! This has been on my mind as well. I’ve always surrounded myself with children in some way, shape or form. Their energy and curiosity has kept me feeling young. However, I’ve returned to a full time job and suddenly I’m not around children as much. I’ve realized the “older” women at work are the same age I am!!! This shocked me and I’ve been wondering if I appear as old as they do. What’s my role at this age? DO I have to look or act a certain way? I never want to look as if I’m trying too hard to fit in (and make a fool of myself) I think there’s a balance there of looking older with style and grace vs being old and trying to dress and act like you’re 20. Would like to find the balance. Thanks so much for writing this. The blog post and comments are so encouraging!

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Connie March 1, 2018 - 3:06 pm

I’ve aged and realized joy and beauty come from the inside! If it’s there, you don’t really care what other people think…we must all dance our own dance! I love your blog, it’s beautiful, thought provoking and inspiring. So inspired that my girlfriend and I are going to France this summer to enjoy the lovely town of St. Paul de Venice…it could only be better if you could join us!

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Arleen Obrien March 1, 2018 - 3:29 pm

My mom was 69 when she passed and had worn jeans and sneakers most of the time. I’m 79 and still wear jeans and sneakers and feel great most of the time. Enjoy each day that The Lord has made and be yourself and most of all have fun!

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Stormy March 1, 2018 - 3:34 pm

I don’t often go out for drinks with the women I work with, but last Friday I said I would stop for one glass of wine. In the course of conversation, someone asked me how old I am. I looked at her, smiled, and said “62.” Oh my. They now look at me differently. I think they are going to start getting up to give me their seat when I walk into a room. Oh, well. Good to know I can still “shock” people.
I think that society has “rules” for how everyone, men and women, should behave, but more so for women than men. I think women spend many years accommodating others. Their spouse, their children. My mother-in-law lost her husband of almost 70 years a couple years back. She was devastated, but continued to live her life. She had gone from her parents home to being a bride at age 18 and now for the first time, she was living alone. Several of her children wanted her to move into assisted living even though she was able to live on her own. She refused and while she misses her husband, she has made her life her own. She will be 90 in August and is living life on her own terms. She is my shining example of “acting your age.”

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Judy Domingues March 1, 2018 - 3:53 pm

I am physically active and a healthy 71 year old. I am retired now but, I had a decorating business for years here in Texas. I studied in my 50’s how to do Venetian plaster walls. Very hard work trolling plaster on walls. I did it up into my 60’s and did beautiful work for my customers. No one else in our area did this kind of work. I do not see very many young women wanting to work this hard. They want a glamour job. The artist side of me loved what I did. I did not have to work this hard because my husband was a Orthopedic Surgeon and provided very well for us. Now we travel a lot and enjoy the benefits of working hard. I was called an old out of touch Southern women the other day from a response I made on an Instagram page. Did not hurt my feelings because I knew that they are young and foolish and poorly educated. So yes, we should be proud of our age and our abilities. Thank you Sharon for bringing this topic up.

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Cindy March 1, 2018 - 4:07 pm

I am 56 years young and now that my nest
Is empty I have more time for the things I put on the back burner. The 50’s decade has been one of self awareness and a type of reawakening. I have made time for fitness and that makes all the difference in energy levels. Everyday is a gift and you should do what makes you happy and brings joy. If that means riding a skateboard or skydiving or having some nips and tucks go for it! I have 2 career paths that I have followed one as a registered critical nurse and the newest one as a pastel artist. For practicality I did not pursue my art until about 6 years ago but am learning and growing daily. I ran a half marathon at age 53, never really was a runner in my younger years. I have seen many women chase the fountain of
Youth with endless surgeries and ultimately not my thing, very expensive and painful. Follow what makes you feel you. For myself it does not matter what others think, if it is what brings me joy and I am not hurting anyone I go for it. Life is sparkle when you take the chances and don’t ever wonder “what if””?

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Cindy in California March 1, 2018 - 4:34 pm

I also wanted to mention a “young” at heart last that truly inspired my outlook on aging was “MaMy Rock” she stumbled into becoming a very international “hip” DJ at the young age of 67. A career she never dreamed of and really fell into on a dare from her grandson. I believe if are open to new seasons thinking outside the box our lives will never be full or boring! Thank you Sharon for sharing your story

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Carolyn March 1, 2018 - 4:12 pm

Thank you Sharon for your honesty and transparency in this blog,today. At 76 I still am young thinking and sometimes forget about my age altogether.
Some people think I’m in my 50′ s but that is due to good “genes”. I still love to quilt and knit, but gardening is still what I most love to do. I love following ” your posts and the boxes you create, because it is a reminder and inspiration of the way my mother tried always to set a beautiful table, and her appreciation for flowers, nice china etc.im trying to pass this on to my four grandchildren . One of the things I love the most about growing older is that I’ve learned to say”no”.

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Jackie Pellow March 1, 2018 - 4:12 pm

Hi Sharon and beautiful Ladies,
Please check out The Accidental Icon blog…and also Bloom products and blogs. Great champions of celebrating ourselves as we age, and accepting ourselves. So important!!!

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Victoria Savu March 1, 2018 - 4:19 pm

Funny that my cousin and are were just talking about your inner child this morning. She said she has lost hers. I haven’t and it is what keeps me moving on the days that getting going in the morning can be difficult. Some people are surprised how much I do for “my age,” like the grandchildren. They seem surprised that I am still above the ground. Good grief I am 68 people. I garden, paint furniture and remodel my house daily and I am now teaching myself French and the piano. Life is wonderful and to be lived to it fullest. Your go ladies.

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Judy Domingues March 1, 2018 - 4:20 pm

PS Sharon, my husband took me to Paris for Valentines Day and took my list of things to do from your blog. I went to to Alelier Vertumne and got to meet Clarisse Beraud. She was a lovely person and I told her that you had sent me in to buy one of her round vases for floral arrangements. I have never seen such beautiful flowers. It was Valentines Day and she had a Hugh selection. We cannot get flowers like those in Texas. Cannot wait to arrange flowers in my new vase. We went around the corner and had hot chocolate and a pastry at Angelina’s (no line to get in). Thank you again.

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Christine March 1, 2018 - 4:46 pm

My 96 year old uncle coined it perfectly well… never vacation with all “old” people . It is best to have a mix of young,middle aged and older persons .
Good advice for all , including my 65 year old self !

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Mary Ellen Eckels March 1, 2018 - 6:26 pm

LOL!! I so love your uncle’s comment. Thanks for sharing.

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Angela Muller March 1, 2018 - 4:47 pm

Well, it seems like you’ve hit a nerve here, Sharon! I am 71 years old and am always stunned by the number when I say it, because I certainly don’t feel it. I’m a teacher, clinical psychologist, and till recently had a fine art gallery for decades. Up till three years ago, I was decorating 15 foot Christmas trees for corporate clients, myself. I stopped to pursue other interests.
Yet, I often succumb to contradictions. Usually, I feel ageless, however, when it comes to my hair, I cannot let myself go grey, as much as I hate the coloring process, and when my daughter insists on doing things for me that I’m perfectly capable of doing. I hate that!
Fortunately, I have found independent ways to generate an income, yet I know that if I needed to replace employment after the age of sixty, my reality would be very different. Though I regularly engage with people of all ages, and am seldom reminded of my age, underlying all this “good attitude”, is the sad reality that I’m losing some good friends to illness.
I also constantly look for role models; women who are beautiful, sexy, intelligent, and vital though they may be in the later chapters of their journeys.

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Cathy R March 2, 2018 - 6:05 am

I just turned 70 and was dreading saying the #, a friend told me about using the level system after age 49, say level 5,6,7 etc. WOW it was amazing how say level 7 changed my attitude. Instead of feeling older, I feel like I have accomplished something!
Love all the comments and love you and your blog Sharon. You are a fabulous reinvented woman! Thank you for blogging!

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Mary Ellen Eckels March 2, 2018 - 1:55 pm

Very cool idea! It is all about perspective and attitude.

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Rhonda March 2, 2018 - 3:46 pm

Love this!!

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Deborah March 1, 2018 - 4:57 pm

Hi Sharon,
A few weeks ago I was at a formal dinner that was part of family business meeting and there was a professional photographer documenting the event for us. She was lining me and the family up for a photo, she pointed at me and said,”Let’s have the matriarch in the middle please.” Whaaaaat? I was bothered by it. Then I was bothered that I was bothered by it! I wanted to own it, but just felt…old. Still figuring it out myself.

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Sheila March 1, 2018 - 5:10 pm

Wow so many comments on this topic. I love your blog and the fact that you are a mature blogger with an exciting career? I am 74 and blessed with good health, stay active, enjoy yoga, volunteer, fashion and still shop at Zara and Banana. Age is just a number so do what you like and can–live in the moment? Hurray for the wise women who keep moving and enjoy life. Of course, its not always rosy but we certainly can be a positive example for the younger women. Thanks Sharon for sharing your amazing life with us?

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Laura Gallagher March 1, 2018 - 5:31 pm

I loved your piece. I must admit when I turned 70 (now 71) I paused to think when did I get this old! I still feel mentally like I’m 18!!! However, as I progress thru the 70’s I’m becoming more comfortable with the fact that I’m “so called old now”. I’m still working 4 days a week and am the oldest in my company — but I have young friends and best of all my garden club ladies. We meet and eat and laugh and many have told us what a fun group we are. Surround yourself not with age related folks, but folks who let you be yourself, don’t judge, do what makes you happy and are as upbeat as you. We travel the journey of aging together with smiles and best of all warm companionship.

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Joanie March 1, 2018 - 5:33 pm

I do enjoy your blog! I live vicariously through those that live in France.
I am a few months away from 79 and loving life . Most of my friends are my children’s age and they treat me as though I am their age . I sometimes forget my age when I’m with them .
I have a small chocolate business and when I’m asked how long can I work I tell them “till I die”. I am very active and love life. There are times when I’m on a ladder or shoveling dirt in my garden that I’m quite well aware of my age but I refuse to give up. I’m so very blessed and thank the Lotf daily for all I have been given and my wonderful life!

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Joanie March 1, 2018 - 5:52 pm

Thank you for wonderful blog . Loved all the darling ladies comments.
I will be 79 in a few months and it’s hard for me to believe I’m that old, until I look in the mirror. I’m certain those wrinkles were not there yesterday . I feel like I’m 40 and maybe that’s because most of the friends I enjoy most are my children’s age. I keep up with new fashion trends, like to cook and garden, and love serving others, I spend a great amount of time with grandchildren and great grandchildren. I have a small chocolate business and still enjoy it. When I’m asked, how long will you keep working I tell them, “until I die .” Life is wonderful and I have been greatly blessed. Bring on “80” I’m ready for new adventures!!

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Joanie March 1, 2018 - 5:59 pm

Good grief I may be able to make chocolate but I have a bit of a problem with my phone and sending messages. Sorry for the duplicate, there was a message with the first of my comments that it did not send sooo I sent another

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downraspberrylane March 1, 2018 - 7:09 pm

This has probably happened to many of us, Joanie, and it’s not age-related!

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Ellen de Man March 1, 2018 - 6:40 pm

Dear Sharon ,

Love your message this week. Do agree with you that I also feel left out sometimes in certain situations but I soon leave or make a change or think to myself that those that ignore orvthink I’m am invisible will get there as well and move on.
I will be 78 next week. Fell 34 in spirit and mind
Great ful forecall thatbi have seen and been to worldwide. At 72 I decided I needed to fulfill a dream I had and bought myself a Cello and found a teacher to teach me. I did not read a note but now almost 6 years later I play in a mixed aged wonderful String Ensemble that has opened up a new world for me the one that is ageless.
I dye my hair red dress the same as have as ever
Stylish and ageless wow what a wonderful life
Heading for Europe again this year and having fun. Do I sound old?
Love your blog as always.
Love to all women
Ellen de Man

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Suzanne D. Grable March 1, 2018 - 6:54 pm

My, you really touched upon something that made us all want to talk about. I am 71 and still have my interior design business. Stay fit with exercise and try to make myself look good. Yesterday a 10 year old little girl was in a public restroom at the same time I was there. I was putting lipstick and she said to me, “You are beautiful.” I did not understand her at first and she repeated it. I told her she was precious for telling me that being as you as she was and I was shocked but on cloud nine. I like to read and look at those women that Ari Seth Cohen @ Advanced Style writes about. They fascinate me and I love to create my outfits daily with the same clothes but switching them around. Each day is a new me and it gives me energy. I do think that people might think I need to act my age but I also remember as a child of somewhere around 10 – 12 there was an older woman and she always dressed young looking and I said that is what I will do when I get older (she was probably in her 40’s, Ha! So I have kept this attitude as long as I can remember. After reading what the others have written, that we need to make ourselves happy and not think about what the others might be thinking about us. I mean, I will not wear a bikini, that would make me sick to see. Let us all have fun and do what we feel. Be sure to look up Ari Seth Cohen it will inspire you.

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Kathy March 1, 2018 - 7:21 pm

Sharon – thank you again for a great post. I so enjoy reading all the comments – good to know that age is just a number. My 96 year old mother says, “you still feel the same, you just change on the outside.” Bless her heart, she didn’t want to move into assisted living at 90 because “there’s only old people living there.” In my humble opinion, growing old has a lot to do with our attitudes. I realize not all of us are blessed with good genes and health, but do the best you can each day with what you have to work with, is my motto. Having lost my husband when I was just 49, I know how short life can be. We’ve all seen the good, the bad and the ugly in life. Thank God every day for each opportunity to get up and go for it. Sending blessings to you and all these amazing ladies who follow your blog.

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Janet March 1, 2018 - 8:14 pm

I became 65 a couple of weeks ago and feel quite accomplished to have arrived there! My plan – actively worked – is grow younger like Merlin. True visits and activities with friends from 90+ years to 4 years are my favorite method.
Love every minute, Sharon!

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Lynda Seglias March 1, 2018 - 8:38 pm

I know exactly how you feel! I wondered the same thing a few years ago. But, as I keep getting older, I feel we should pave our own path and own it! We should not be limited because we are aging. As long as we are healthy, have a good spirit and are current, enjoy it! I have always looked at least 10 years younger than I am and people don’t know my age and at times when it is found out, they tell me I’m “inspiring.” We should all appreciate each other for what we can learn from each age.

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Esperanza March 1, 2018 - 8:40 pm

Oh something that made me think recently for the first time. I am a millennia in my thirties, for my own interest I am currently taking an art appreciation class at our local community college and I found my self to be the oldest student in the class before our professor. Our class starts at 9:30 am and while majority of the students come in complaining that they did not have enough sleep, I on the other hand, feel like I did a million things being up since 5:45am (I have two school age kids). I find my self often smiling inside before our class. However, I do enjoy very much being in the class with younger students, their boldness is something I envy. I hope it will continue this way.
Greetings from sunny LA

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Heidi March 1, 2018 - 8:49 pm

Hi Sharon,
I love your blog, your books, your attitude! Oh my what wonderful responses to your post! And I’m so impressed by what all these interesting women have to say! My own thoughts on aging are very mixed right now. About to turn 60 next month I am sometimes surprised by that number. And then there are days when I feel much older! I’ve tried to maintain a health lifestyle, have young friends, stay active, do fun and interesting things, dress in a current and fun way. And yet… I’m somewhat conflicted because I keep hearing how this is supposed to be the time when it all gets figured out and the insecurities melt away. Well, I’m waiting for that to happen for me! I raised my daughters and was a 100% mom, homemaker, wife for so long. I’m still all of that, but my daughters have mostly left the nest and now I have time to focus on me. I almost feel a little lost! But I’m plugging ahead.I recently began showing my paintings, started an instagram page and having small exhibits.
The view from this side of my eyes is the same as it’s always been. What people see when they look at me from their side should matter less now, I guess. I’m still getting to that point where I embrace that though fully. I had great examples in my parents who always said they would never die. They lived each day to the fullest and laughed and danced and loved life. I hope to make them proud by doing the same!
This is kind of a rambling response but your post did hit a chord in me that needed to be explored! Thank you.

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franki March 1, 2018 - 8:55 pm

Hah! This gives me hope…and spirit! I’m soon to be 74 and we “just installed a zip line” and I was the second one to go…my husband “pushed his way to first…” 🙂 We sail, take the Wave Runners, etc. out AND I dress to “please me.” Today, while shopping, no less than 5 compliments… Go FORTH and ENJOY!! franki

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Suzanne Grable March 2, 2018 - 2:31 am

AH! the zip line. We went a couple of years ago and my husband was 76 and I was 68 at the time. It was our son’s birthday and that was what he wanted to do. I have always been afraid of heights and it helped me greatly. There was a lady there that was in her eighties.
Zip, zip away. I loved it and want to do it again and also want to parachute out of a plane.

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Bronwyn Lee-Coward March 1, 2018 - 9:09 pm

What a truly inspiring and jaw dropping group of fabulous women you all are. I am humbled and feel blessed to have found Sharon and her blog by accident a few years ago. I intend enquiring about learning a new language and I would love to learn the Cello. As a grandmother of a 5 year old my ideas on writing that Children’s book I have been contemplating and feeling incapable of producing are definitely going to be resurrected. It is a great era to be alive there have been so many more opportunities available to women born in the late 1940’s to the late 1960’s. It was a Renaissance for women. Thank you all for your inspiration and wisdom.

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Mina March 1, 2018 - 9:10 pm

I say go ahead do what you want to do for as long as you can , follow your dreams no matter what your age they will do it too when they are older so don’t worry about it. Life is to live! Never stop doing what you were meant to do. Remember you are the only one that can allow someone to make you feel uncomfortable and if you don’t allow that then it’s not possible !! 😉

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Jeanne Henriques March 1, 2018 - 9:25 pm

Interesting question Sharon and I love all the answers here…very thought provoking. I have been thinking about this quite a bit as I follow my mother-in-laws travels around Egypt this week. She is 87 years old and walked her age yesterday, 8.7km, in Petra. I have known her for 30 years, she looks after her health, exercises daily, makes a point of enjoying cultural activities frequently, travels internationally regularly and surrounds herself with people of all ages. As dear ones depart this earth she is able to look to her friends years behind her, drawing inspiration as they do in return. I think her formula for life is invigorating and I admire her greatly. As Abraham Lincoln once said…”It’s not the years in your life that count; it’s the life in your years”. Having met you before…I know that many will draw inspiration from you for years to come. 🙂 XX

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Rhonell March 1, 2018 - 9:30 pm

I am 66 – I often second-guess myself when it comes to my casual wardrobe (my favourite dress code) that I may be choosing something ‘too young’ but I think if you feel comfortable about the way you look – you will be. If I feel a younger woman (usually) is looking at me because she has noticed something that caught her attention. As long as you are groomed and have a smile on your face you will be ok? To quote one of the Hepburn’s .. ‘I have no romantic feelings about age – either you are interesting or you are not’ – so ‘be in the moment and be ‘aware’ in every sense of the word ❤️

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Sandra Robbins March 1, 2018 - 10:48 pm

I am 71 years old (?) and reading this blog on my iPhone on the way to an overnight assignment for my previous employer. I have been retired for almost 5 years. They regularly contact me for this assignment because of my previous experience. When I commented to my employer (female late 40’s) that I may be getting too old she laughed. Said I did not appear old. So off I go.

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DeAnna March 1, 2018 - 10:56 pm

Hi Sharon, I saw your instagram message and wanted to comment here on your blog. First of all, thank goodness you’re out there blogging and doing your thing. I’m almost 52 and would be terribly bored and frustrated if there weren’t other women out there my age to relate to. That said, I don’t believe we need to act our age and I’m certainly not going to let others decide that for me. I was discussing this topic with my younger sister and we both remember encountering situations at work and social situations where we weren’t sure we fit in due to being young. I was once told by an older gentleman that I was too young to sell real estate. I asked him how old does a woman need to be to sell real estate? I was 36 at the time, post degree, post babies! I certainly didn’t feel too young and had 13 years of real estate work behind me, but I realized he perceived me young and therefore not savvy enough. Age is something we all deal with and at different times throughout our lives, but it’s how we choose to deal with others’ perceptions as well as our own that matters most. There will always be people out there who intentionally or even unintentionally try to shove people to the side, but we do need to brush it off and keep pushing those boundaries. As far as physical aging, I get where you’re coming from. I’m seeing the aging physically and no I don’t like it. I look older than I feel. Do what you want to do to make yourself feel your best. I’m considering botox, retina and another round of IPL. I also agree with your last statement that women need to back each other up. Women need to treat each other with the upmost respect, encouragement, and continue to build an environment to do business with each other. Love your blog and what you do and thank you for letting me put my two cents worth in.

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Lee Oleary March 1, 2018 - 11:13 pm

I enjoy your blog and look forward to seeing it .I was reading a letter to a beauty adviser in the Australian Woman’s Weekly she was asking about her hair problem she was 93 .I was very impressed this woman had not lost interest in her appearance .I am 64 but I feel 34 except when I get out of bet in the morning .I have so much to do now I don’t know how I found the time to go to work,thank God I don’t have to any more.I dress like I did 20 years ago maybe in the modern version .Don’t fall into the old ladly mode we don’t have to these days .We can look classic in tee shirts and always a nice diamond on your finger .
And a nice head of hair you have that Sharon.love Lee

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Janet March 1, 2018 - 11:31 pm

Hi Sharon,
I’m a 60 year old who works in a catering kitchen as a cook and yes, this is by choice. I love my job, but everyone including the owners are younger than me. Some days, after a long day (Christmas time), I start feeling my age. The legs/feet start to hurt and my back bothers me, but I don’t complain. I leave that up to the young folk. 🙂
As long as I can wheeled a knife and lift heavy pots, I’ll be here.

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Rob March 1, 2018 - 11:38 pm

When my white hairs became too noticable, I started dying my hair : the first time, I nearly cried – what had I done to it, my hair felt so terrible! (To say nothing of the smell of ammonia…) I did continue for a few years, despite my mother telling me that white hair was “a gift from God”. In the end, ill-health meant I could no longer keep it up & while I am okay with that, I find my peers seem to have stood still & not aged at all – because they are all dying their hair. It is an unfortunate truth that most people do judge others by whether they are grey/white-haired or not…

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Madeleine March 1, 2018 - 11:43 pm

Great topic Sharon, and so many interesting and intelligent replies from all of the women here.
I am 50 and have friends from early 20s to age 80. I find I learn so much from friends at either end of the age spectrum.
I am often the youngest in my yoga class – most women are in their 60s or even 70s. These women are inspiring! One of the older women has a fabulous white bob with a short fringe, always wears red lipstick and cute fitted tee shirts and skirts. I think she is fabulous! You truly can look chic at any age, and most importantly, this woman always has something interesting to say. She has plenty of wrinkles but it truly never crosses my mind that she would be more attractive without them. She IS beautiful. So this is an inspiration for me as I age.

I am sure many of us have had people pass from our lives too young, and it is good to notice the physical signs of ageing and be grateful that it means you are still here with the gift of life and did not pass too young. By all means have a nip and tuck if it makes you happy, but you can be beautiful without it.

Madeleine.x

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Madeleine March 2, 2018 - 12:20 am

Hello again,

a further thought. I spend far more time worrying about getting sick than about getting wrinkles. I try to curb this worry, but wonder if others have the same issue. I am very healthy, I am very active, and have followed a plant-based organic diet for most of my life. I wonder if I worry because sickness has become so ‘normalised’ these days that we are always hearing about it?

When I catch myself having negative thoughts I try to remind myself ‘there’s not a thing wrong with you’! I would love to know what you and other women think, Sharon, and how you stay positive. I would also love to know how women are adapting their diet and lifestyle to stay well and thrive 🙂

Madeleine.x

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Angela Muller March 2, 2018 - 12:57 am

My brother’s friend has a saying…”It’s getting later sooner.” I never dwelled on my vulnerability until my best friend needed a heart transplant. This was 23 years ago. And though her new heart has lasted 13 years longer than medically predicted, her journey is come to its end. I am 71 and she is 68. Together we have felt the pain of other friends illnesses, and the sadness of their passing. Though I feel fit and fine, it is difficult not to absorb the changes around you. Though I have an active lifestyle, I, too, find myself taking note of time’s passing; and with that my priorities have changed. I am constantly downsizing possessions, collections, and telling myself that I find minimalizing attractive. Maybe it happens to many of us…clearing the decks to better enjoy a less cumbersome lifestyle, or maybe it is something else. I do know I intend to enjoy the beauty of each day and the warmth of close friendships, and focus on all the good stuff.

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Colleen Taylor March 2, 2018 - 1:21 am

Sharon, you definitely created a great deal of interest with this subject. I wish I had time to read each one. Fascinating! I’ve never acted my age nor have I looked it until maybe lately. Maybe it’s just me being too critical of myself as usual. I refuse to think like an “old” person. I hear entirely too many people using those words that are self defeating and detrimental. I do find I have become more “invisible.” I notice it especially while catching a flight in an airport.

My friends run the gamet with all ages. I’m pretty sure most are much younger. I love a variety of ages and professions in my corner of the world but I do shy away quickly from people acting and talking older than they are.

My hubs is a professional musician that performs every week. A little rock and roller so that keeps us both young. When people discover what we both do professionally, they automatically want to be included in our little cicle. It’s all about the attitude & how we carry ourselves. In the words of Neil Young, “Long may you run.” X

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Afn March 2, 2018 - 1:24 am

Kick up our heels and keep your free spirit. You don’t seem the type to do anything toooo dangerous. I’ve noticed that your blog and others
I read are read by a great deal of “older aged” young at hearts. You are as young as you think.

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Judy March 2, 2018 - 1:43 am

Hi Sharon, thank you for a wonderful thought provoking post! I am 58 and over the 36 years that I have been a nurse I have cared for countless people of all ages. My thought is age is a number not always reflective of the person behind it. Last year I put purple highlights in my hair when my weight got to within 20 pounds of my goal! “Acting my age” most would say no, but I did it just for me. My daughter had mixed feelings, mostly about the pixie cut but over all I got many positive comments especially from strangers. One thing I have learned in all my years of caring for people is so many have regrets of should have. I try to live each day one at a time, some days I feel 20 and some 80. I love to be myself and hey if I dress eccentric at times, have purple highlights or act silly, I am living each day to my fullest. I have seen far too often how precious and fragile life is. May we all enjoy each day on this earth to the fullest and be thankful in the joy of it.

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Loreen March 2, 2018 - 2:05 am

One life! One opportunity! I say go for it! no matter what age if you still can!

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Loreen March 2, 2018 - 2:07 am

One life! One opportunity! I say go for it! While you still can!

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Ellen March 2, 2018 - 2:07 am

Hi Sharon, Thanks for the thought-provoking question. As with the other comments, I don’t feel my age. At 56 I have just started golf lessons and yoga and in good weather you can find me on the water in my sea kayak. I may have a few extra pounds, but that does not hinder me. I take no meds of any kind, just a few natural supplements. Society can dictate how an age is perceived, and unfortunately once you hit 50 the perception is one should act “old” and the cane and walker aren’t too far away. There are just a few societies left where the seniors are respected for their wisdom and experience, and not looked upon as “too old” for something. But then again, I’ve never been one to follow what society thinks I should do! It sounds like the spirited crowd who commented on your post feel the same way! So let’s go ladies and don’t follow the crowd.

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Kathy March 2, 2018 - 3:30 am

Very interesting subject today. I celebrated my 77th birthday this January. I do not think too much about my age. However, the one thing that drives me insane is when some one says “Oh, what can you expect at your age.”I just smile and think to myself just you wait.

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Betty Baker March 2, 2018 - 4:21 am

Well my dear you have hit the nail on the head. I am 82 but have a 45 year old mind, and I refuse to act or be old. Just not as quick getting out of the chair, but get the make up on every morning,wear jeans when I want to,wear neat clothes and I love to have fun. Appreciate every day that I wake up.Live,Love, Laugh is my motto.

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Natalia Radula March 2, 2018 - 5:35 am

Oh,yes,when I am an old woman I shall wear purple.
I do.
Every day.
And beyond that,like myself and respect myself for who I am.
I have earned it.
71 and grateful for each breath,each day,and praying that God sheds His light on my family and friends.
Sharon,this newest box is your best.
So car e fully chosen a nd received with so much pleasure .
When we lived in Paris,we spent so much time at Versailles,and it is a breath of happiest memories.
Thank you!

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rob March 2, 2018 - 8:57 am

We are as old as “our spirit”. The ability to find joy in new knowledge,new people, and new adventures…..attests to our age.
The outside shell is subject to others observations…sometimes we see what we wish to see in the mirror. But if we realistically observe photos of ourselves…we can judge ourselves as to dress and presentation.

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bonnie groves poppe March 2, 2018 - 10:59 am

I agree with most of the comments above, you might as well do what you enjoy and never mind what people say. And if you want to look silly, so what? But ….. all of this positive thinking is for me tempered by the women out there whose health has failed through no fault of their own, and they are unable to do the things we all still do. Let’s not forget them or judge them if they do not seem “young at heart” …..
bonnie in provence

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Dagmar March 2, 2018 - 1:17 pm

Dear Sharon, this is a very interesting post and believe me I have always thought on the matter. The key point to this is not age but attitude.
As long as a person is heathy, no matter the age, everyone can do many things.
I am turning 62 next April.
Yesterday I received my Modern Languages Degree from the University. I teach English and Germán and walk three hours a day. I am retired from the airline business, after 38 years and I decided to go back to University. My class mates where all the age of my grandchildren. I never felt strange, moreover, I was one of the best in class. I al si probé! Life and age = attitude.
Regards,

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Mary Ellen Eckels March 2, 2018 - 1:50 pm

So fabulous! Love!

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Vicky from Athens March 2, 2018 - 4:11 pm

Sharon, you’ve received so many interesting comments I can’t possibly add anything. Since no one has ever been able to tell me just how someone of my age should act I’ll just keep on being me and assume I’m doing it right!!

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Jan Wild March 2, 2018 - 9:23 pm

Great post and one I think we all wrestle with in our own ways. Do I fit in here? Am I ‘mutton dressed as lamb’, did I just say something I thought was cool but was actually dumb? And so it goes on. I am inclined to just sail on regardless without worrying too much about what others think, I guess I feel that those who know me and value me will forgive any transgressions.

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Denyse Whelan March 3, 2018 - 3:53 am

Great post! Since retiring from a role in full time education I have blogged. So for past 7 years I’ve written about all kinds of subjects from kids going to school to what it was like to find out I had cancer. I’ve been active on twitter since 2010 with a particular following in education. I remain passionate about education & my views are respected. I am 68 years old. I dress to feel good & look good & have been posting pics on instagram since last year. It’s helped me in my self-confidence & image since cancer took away all of my top mouth & it was replaced by my skin, flesh & bone from my leg. I find myself at odds sometimes with social mores of younger generations but with children who are 46 & 39 & grandkids from 21 to 2 I find I can ask the young ones about some stuff I know my parents would not have!

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Emm March 3, 2018 - 11:18 am

I love the comments here, and love the picture of the Great Kate.
In our consumer-driven culture (speaking of US, although increasingly it seems to be everywhere), women “of a certain age” are dismissed as no longer of use — is all the advertising copy written by 20-somethings? It’s nice to read so many life-affirming, and self-affirming, stories. We rock!

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Jan March 5, 2018 - 12:11 am

Yes we do.

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suzana March 3, 2018 - 9:22 pm

I will turn 52 in May, and I have never felt more confident in my skin, saggy as it may be, I still ride skateboards, swim in my underwear whenever and wherever I feel like it, I lose abandon to prejudice and scorning of others, I live life in the moment, I am spontaneous as much as it embarrasses my husband at times, life is short. I am growing older but I refuse to grow up!

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Cecelia March 4, 2018 - 7:18 am

I am 71. I went to college at age 50 and, in a history class, the professor and I were discussing the Vietnam War. One of the other students goodnaturedly complained that I had an unfair advantage…I’d lived through that era so I didn’t need to study like the rest of them! Age does have its advantages! I haven’t grown up yet and can’t see any reason to start!

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Bebe March 4, 2018 - 5:57 pm

My goodness, I was going strong in my 50s. And my 60s. And….

Other than my dear late Mother, and my wonderful late best friend former mother-in-law, the most inspirational woman I ever met was an apartment tenant in a property we owned. She had lived well; her apartment was spacious and lovely. She needed a companion because she’d had a debilitating stroke that had left her with severe aphasia and physical deficits. I was able to understand her speech, so could share great moments with her. On one she said “B, I am a 21 year old held prisoner in an 81 year old body!” Whenever I am feeling wumpy, I summon up Agnes. We may have aches and pains, but we can still dress in comfortable clothes – who said good looking sweats and jeans and tees were only for the young? I miss my daily 3” heels, which I wore throughout my business career. I miss being a Size 8. I love the clothes I have worn in the past and still keep a few around as reminders of who I was back then. And I try to keep my spirit and mind young now. Love yourselves!!!

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MARLA March 4, 2018 - 10:21 pm

Sharon!! You are gorgeous and fascinating!! I only know you thru your blog and books. I’m 68 and I receive lovely comments from my adult kids and their friends. I believe we the femme de certain age need to teach by example the younger women. This world is always in need of wisdom grace and beauty!!

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Jan March 5, 2018 - 12:09 am

Sharon, how enjoyable you are. Ive been reading all the comments. I’m absolutely thrilled to read the comments from the 74 year young women. I just tuned 74 too. Most people don’t think I’m this amazing age even my granddaughter thinks I’m younger. We are a league of our own. Very unique in comparison to past generations in the amount of changes we seen. Cheers to all you wonderful ladies. Thank you for sharing.

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Saskia March 5, 2018 - 9:59 pm

The Soul doesn’t age! That said, I make it a point to tell people my age,74, because I love seeing the shock on their faces. I’m lucky, though. I’ve always looked 10-15 years younger,which I did not appreciate when I was really young; and,mercifully, I look better with salt & pepper hair than I did as a brunette. 40+ years of doing Yoga has helped, as well as a steady diet of real food … no junk. My young friends think I’m really “cool.” Not sure exactly why … but I think it’s a waste of time denying our life experience. Keeping an open mind and never losing our curiosity seem to be the secrets to a happy second stage of life.

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Katerina March 7, 2018 - 5:47 pm

Hi everyone It is nice to see honesty in the comments so I want to be honest,too. I am 79 and active and social and a gardener but I live this life unafraid of death and unafraid of talking about it. Soon we will know the fruit of our lives and rejoice in all we have been given and all that is yet to come for those who love.If we have anything to give those younger than us it is faith in love and a merciful God and life after death.I live each day with great joy avoiding nothing and experiencing everything.

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Judy Heminsley March 9, 2018 - 10:16 pm

Hi Sharon, I recently saw a video in which Dr Christiane Northrup, who’s well-known for her work in older women’s health, said that it’s best to never reveal our age or even think about it. The reason is that if we do, we are immediately judged by others or ourselves as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ for our age, and whether we are ‘age-appropriate’. Apparently studies show that taking her advice improves health and fitness. Easier said than done when we live in such an age-conscious, and sadly too often ageist, society!

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Diane Stewart March 16, 2018 - 12:39 am

I’m a bit late to the party… I’m 64, and my husband died last summer. We were together 43 years, so it’s hard starting over. As I’ve been out and about trying to find interesting things to do, and meet new people, I’ve found that I relate better to those who are a lot younger. I like to think this is because I’m unconventional and young at heart. But, it’s disconcerting too. I’m in the autumn of my life, on my own, and I’d like to find a male companion closer to my age. Yet, I’m “pleasingly plump” and have white hair. Since I feel about 25 inside, I sometimes realize that people may see me in a very different way. I’m not going to change how I behave, or suddenly dye my hair again. I don’t even wear make-up anymore. I’ve accepted my age, and don’t try to be something I’m not. I was once young and attractive, I didn’t miss out. But, growing older is certainly hard at times. So much of our culture is based on a youthful appearance. I recently had a nice neighbor tell me I looked young and attractive for my age. But he’s 11 years older, so to him I’m a younger woman! But the man I relate to the most is 22 years younger than me. It’s just a friendship, but it would be nice if age wasn’t such a big factor between males and females.

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Jadie June 26, 2018 - 6:28 am

Stay curious, keep learning, (and f**k ’em if they can’t take a joke!) One embraces sly humor.

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skateboard September 18, 2018 - 4:10 am

When someone writes an paragraph he/she eeps the image of a user in his/her brain that how
a user can understand it. So that’s why this piece of writing is perfect.
Thanks!

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Jane December 3, 2022 - 6:01 pm

Age really is a state of present mind.
I will reach 72 in this month of December 2022, but the number means very little.
My daily routine is very busy with caring for a blind husband who also is about to start
periotoneal dialysis next month and an aging house which is now getting some exterior work done on the wood siding of the addition. I still climb ladders to paint but now limit myself to height of 10-15 feet!

We have raised three children, all college educated in physical
sciences of biomedical engineering; chemistry; chemical engineering and biochemistry.

Our home, for the last thirty-nine years, has been a fieldstone house built in 1850.
We have been diligent in renovating this home little by little as we paid for catholic elementary and high school. Also, we paid for four year college tuitions for all three children….no small feat in the 1980s and up to 2010, the latter year being the end of youngest child’s college tuition. All three children chipped in some
of their job earnings and also contributed with academic scholarships. We provided each child with a used vehicle while they were enrolled in out of state colleges.
The sacrifices we made for their education has done well for each of our children. They have never been
in any kind of trouble all through to college! We watched carefully who they associated with during their
‘minor’ years.

Oh, did I mention that we added an addition onto our stone house in 1989 when all our children were under age 5? We added about 1200 square foot addition….large kitchen; another bedroom with bathroom and a family sunroom, fully heated.
The reason I mention this is because my husband and I also did most of the interior work on the new addition….my husband laid random width hardwood floors to bedroom; kitchen and the old kitchen floor was replaced. We made the old kitchen into a powder room and a laundry room.
My husband laid the tile on a long kitchen counter top as well as two and half bathrooms.
We stoned pointed the exposed stone wall in the kitchen as well. Prior to the construction of the new addition, my husband and I tore down the summer room (with roof and all!) on the side of the house by ourselves and burned most of the old construction wood by ourselves. We saved resources doing the work by ourselves.
We did much more work as time went forward.
We did hire a plumber and an electrician for the new addition.
I did plastering and painting while caring for our children. I tended to our vegetable garden each year.
I maintained two acres of property by myself as my husband had to commute to a full time job as a chemist….70 miles daily round trip.
We were very strict with our budget as we knew that money is useful as a tool but also that money compounds over time if invested well.

Our children helped as they grew older but their post college jobs soon led them to out-of-state employers or
to grad school…our oldest acquired a law degree.

Our life flew buy with all our responsibilities involving our home and family.
It doesn’t matter whether your home is in France or the USA, it matters that you care for your home
and, in particular, improve an older home for the sake of keeping its history alive.

I am amazed that I am still motivated to accomplish the things that are important to me, despite my advancing age. I credit my own parents, having seven children, with instilling the work ethic in me.
And, of course, a strong religious faith in God.
My husband, coming from a family of five children, feels the same.

God Bless to all of us that want to continue improving our lives in spite of advancing ages!

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