turning grief into celebration

by Sharon Santoni

In January, just a few weeks ago, my darling mother passed away. I know this is something that many of you have already had to deal with, and I know that you will understand my pain.

Added to the agony of the empty space she has left behind, I also had to deal with the degree of separation that the pandemic imposed upon us. Thank goodness my family in England were able to say goodbye in person, but for me, living in France, my goodbyes were only virtual.

I struggled with this for months last year as she declined. I won’t say that I felt guilty, because I know she would never have wanted that. But the contrast to recent years was very poignant. For the past decade I have spent several days – or even a week – each month with her. To be deprived of this pleasure when I knew that she was leaving us became a very heavy burden.

But, since it is obvious that I cannot turn back the clock, I have been concentrating very hard on all the positive and happy memories that we made together. I thought, that if you are in the same position as me, especially in these strange times, this may be of comfort to you.

Yes the pandemic kept me away from her, but thank goodness for modern technology which allowed us to see each other and talk several times a week.

Yes, I’ll never see her again, but thank goodness for all the fun moments that we spent together. The gardens we visited, the afternoons spent chatting, or cooking, or sewing or planting.

Yes, she has gone, but she lived a good, kind and happy life. She left us aged 89, she was never lonely or unwell. She left us as peacefully as she had lived.

Yes, I have lived a long way from her for many years, but thank goodness it was not so far that she didn’t see her grandchildren growing up, and that she was close enough to stay involved in our family life here.

Yes, she was diminished when she left us, but thank goodness for her feisty, strong and fun personality that everyone who knew her could not fail to love.

There is of course much more to say, but I think you get my point.

Her name was Rose, and it fitted her perfectly. These flowers are for her.

PS. I have come back to this post a few hours after publishing, and I am quite overwhelmed by all your kind comments. Thank you so much. I am truly blessed to have such generous and thoughtful readers. Please forgive me if I don’t reply individually. Every comment is read and appreciated. Thank you.

187 comments

Freddie Ann February 7, 2021 - 3:28 pm

It’s those memories we have that are the 2nd best part of a person’s life. Pure treasures, always with us.

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MARINA NEUSTADT February 7, 2021 - 4:42 pm

I’m almost cringing as I read this, my mom is 85, living in the other side of this vast country and I’m horrified that I may loose her, so your writing is too close to home for me. I can only hope that I can deal with my impending loss as gracefully as you. Very touching.

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Sylvia Brannon February 7, 2021 - 6:20 pm

I join you in your sorrow. The mother-daughter connection never goes away – even in death. Please envision and know many, many others are standing beside you during this time.

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Monica Furman February 7, 2021 - 7:27 pm

Sharon, I extend my deepest condolences to you and your family. Sadly, we may be facing something similar in the next year. The separation and isolation without physical touch is the hardest. Thank you for so honestly and eloquently describing your feelings…so many of us can relate. Sending love and healing thoughts your way. ❤️

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Missy February 7, 2021 - 8:56 pm

So much loss this past year. The most important point that came across was the love you shared with your beautiful mom. With each passing season, may you recall the poignant memories you shared. She obviously lived a beautiful life and passed the significant lesson to you. May her memory be a blessing…..

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Ellen February 7, 2021 - 8:10 pm

Rose is with you every time you look in the mirror! She sounds like a beautiful woman with a well lived beautiful life. My deepest condolences to your family and you.
May wonderful memories sustain you on the wings of time and healing from your loss. Thank you for sharing your heartache with us Sharon. Your rose bouquet is such an elegant tribute. They have a special place in our hearts forever. We are all here for you.
Peace

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Brenda Stephens February 7, 2021 - 8:31 pm

May your sweet memories help sustain you and provide much needed comfort. I extend my deepest condolences.

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Cindy Gillespie February 7, 2021 - 9:57 pm

Sharon, I’m so sorry to read of your loss. Praying that you find comfort in your memories.

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Linda Mohan February 8, 2021 - 4:27 am

I feel your pain as I lost my beloved 89 year old father on New Year’s Day, his favorite day of the year. I remember fondly our pork and sauerkraut dinners for good luck as we awaited our Ohio State Buckeyes to play and hopefully win. This year as he looked down from above we did. The memories will always remain but I will forever mis him and my mother with whom he is happily reunited. The thought of finally getting backing yo my spiritual home of France truly keeps me going. Thx for all of your posts!

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Wendy Laver February 8, 2021 - 10:33 am

Hello Sharon,

Thank you for sharing your grief and trusting we, your family from around the world with the sharing of your sad news. Please know your pain is felt by many who have been faced with the same situation, I did at 21 years of age many years ago. Take time to grieve knowing you are loved and valued and most importantly; never alone.

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Andy February 8, 2021 - 12:39 pm

It has been a terribly sad time for you and your family made even more difficult in these trying circumstances but what a beautiful tribute. Memories live on.

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Deborah Burt February 8, 2021 - 2:24 pm

I am so sorry for your loss. The roses are beautiful as I am sure your mother Rose was too. May her memory be a blessing.

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Jerilyn Denny February 8, 2021 - 10:15 pm

I am so sorry for the loss of your dear Mother. I had often heard that no matter our age, when our Mama passes, we feel like an orphan, I found this to be true.

I am glad to hear that you are remembering all the precious memories, as you thoughts are filled with her, she is right beside you. They are never gone,always with us.

Wishing you peace. ❤️

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Janice May February 7, 2021 - 3:41 pm

My mom passed on 1/19/2021. She had been in a nursing home for 2 years. Thankfully technology allowed video chats but they are not the same. I was able to spend the last 3 days with her and of that I am most thankful that she was not alone like so many in this past year. Thank you for your thoughts, they were most helpful as I have been suffering with the same guilt and regrets due to the pandemic.

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Sheila in SF February 7, 2021 - 7:05 pm

May the wonderful memories of your sweet mother comfort you at this time.

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Roslyn Short February 7, 2021 - 9:18 pm

Your beautifully composed photo of those roses Sharon ,are a loving memorial to your mother .With their passing they leave a huge gap in our lives ,but know she is there with you ,major part of your fabric of life .You will go to phone her & pull up with a sob ,that’s hardest part ,just wanting her advice ,her interaction in your everyday life .Rose must b so proud of you,with what you have achieved ,the pleasure you have given me & countless others with your magic Brocante tours ,your caring nature ,your inspiring website .Take heart that your mother is watching over you ,at peace ,best Roslyn

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Carolyn Rowe February 7, 2021 - 11:35 pm

My mother passed away many years ago however she
is always in my thoughts. As well as being a wonderful
mother she was my best friend.
Sending much love. Carolyn

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Shari February 7, 2021 - 3:43 pm

I’m so sad for you. Especially sad that you feel you’ll never see her again! ❤️

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GIGI February 7, 2021 - 4:30 pm

Very kind words and sweet memories of your beloved mother Rose! Much love, strength and comfort to you and your family during these difficult times.

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Nettie February 7, 2021 - 3:43 pm

Sharon……when your heart is empty filling it with happy memories can make you smile again. It sounds as if you had a lovely relationship with your Mother and her great love with carry you through all of your days. Condolences and deep sympathy.

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Caroline Robitaille February 7, 2021 - 5:46 pm

As always, Sharon your words are both fitting and so touching. No doubt your mom was very proud of you and was blessed to have a daughter such as you. God Bless

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Rose Hill February 7, 2021 - 6:39 pm

I was taken with your beautiful bouquet. As I read on, I realized it was in honor of your mom Rose. My name is Rose and my favorite flowers are roses. My mother passed away @ 89. Your tribute to her was sweet, loving and poignant. I am so sorry for your loss. The pain of losing a parent (mother or father ) is incalculable. The loss is permanent. However the love and joy you experienced together will become like a sweet savor in the coming years. My condolences to you. With your blog you bring beauty, grace and a sense of living well and with profound contentment. Thank you

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Mary D February 7, 2021 - 3:44 pm

You are doing exactly what she would have wanted.
Treasure your memories, continue talking to her as
she will whisper in your ear.

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Dee February 7, 2021 - 3:44 pm

Sharon, I too lost a family member during these COVID times, my precious sister. I understand exactly how you feel. Yes, there is quilt from not being able to go to her funeral. I was lucky enough to be able to fly and visit her a couple of days before she passes. I believe she waited for me and passed only hrs. after I left. That has been 5 mts now and I think about her daily. They say time heals. Let’s hope so.

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Nettie February 7, 2021 - 3:45 pm

…….will carry you

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Sue February 7, 2021 - 4:01 pm

So sorry for the loss of your dear Mum, your memories of her are very special and through these, she will be with you, always. Take care x

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Maureen February 7, 2021 - 3:46 pm

What wonderful words and sentiments, very touch by this, you must have been a wonderful daughter.

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CYN TERESE February 7, 2021 - 8:34 pm

My deepest condolences to you and your family. Know that she will always be with you. My mother passed at the age of 90 on 9 January 2006, and not a day goes by that I don’t feel her with me – in a gesture I make or the sound of her voice warning me to be careful, but best of all when we visit together in my dreams. Love is everlasting.

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Nancy February 7, 2021 - 3:46 pm

How beautifully written, keep her close always, and continue to speak to her…she hears you.

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Cheryll February 7, 2021 - 3:46 pm

I am so sorry for your loss. In these times, our grief has taken a new path. It is hard to fathom that in just one year our lives have been so disrupted. I cared for my MIL, who lived next door, for many years. With multiple health problems, I was always amazed at how she rebounded, physically. Sadly, however, progressive dementia took the woman we knew about 3 years before she passed. At 97, she was happy though. She lived in her own little world, cared for by kind and loving helpers when I could not longer manage all her needs. We had her funeral one week before the lockdown forbid gatherings of any kind. As we continue to navigate this upside-down world, we learn new coping mechanisms, and I hope that your fond memories will soften the loss. Thank you for sharing.

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Sandra Lambiotte February 7, 2021 - 3:48 pm

Sharon, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom almost ten years ago and the pain of missing her never leaves. I just now enjoy her by focusing on our wonderful times together. I, too, lived for many years miles away from her, but the last five years I was able to be close to her, and what a blessing it was.
Rose is such a beautiful name and she would be in love with her beautiful flowers. I am sure she must have treasured you, Sharon, and don’t forget that. In time your memories will help heal your broken heart.

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Kate February 7, 2021 - 3:49 pm

Dear Sharon –

My heart aches for you, but having lost both of my parents, I will say that the happy memories you cherish will never go away. They will remain with you always. How right you are to focus on the good parts of having had a mother who was so dear to you.

I saw a beautiful, bright red cardinal in our garden yesterday, and I immediately thought of my father who loved them so. Without even thinking, I said “Hi Dad”. My parents have both been gone for years, but little things remind me of them on a regular basis, and bring them right back here with me. I know the same will happen to you.

Fondly, Kate

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Karen February 7, 2021 - 3:51 pm

My mother, 91, passed away just before Christmas. I know your loss and am sending hugs.

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Libby February 7, 2021 - 3:53 pm

Gd bless you during this time, she sounds like she was a wonderful Mother and person. ❤️

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Loretta February 7, 2021 - 3:54 pm

I am so very sorry for your loss of your Mother. Wrap yourself in her memories where you will find comfort.

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Margaret Hillier February 7, 2021 - 3:55 pm

My condolences to you and your family. A Mother’s love is to be treasured and remembered with warm memories we carry in our heart. Peace.

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Cannon February 7, 2021 - 3:56 pm

She will always live as a treasure in your heart. Thank you for sharing your pain. This last year has been such an unrelenting struggle. When your roses bloom this spring, they will be all the sweeter.

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cammy pollak February 7, 2021 - 3:58 pm

Sharon, I’m so very sorry for your loss. Your words are so very touching, and I pray the wonderful memories you shared with your mom will continue to be a source of comfort.

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Nancy February 7, 2021 - 3:58 pm

Dearest Sharon

So sorry for your loss. Know that you will see her again and she will be there to greet you. As the days pass, you will also recognize that she is with you and will give you signs. Be open to receive.

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Jerry anne February 7, 2021 - 3:58 pm

Sharon , god bless your positivity during your time of loss

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Gae February 7, 2021 - 4:01 pm

Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go. Your heart is full of the love that you shared, may you continue to cherish her memory, and may your pain ease with time.

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Marta Martin February 7, 2021 - 4:03 pm

Sharon, may the Grace of our Lord provide you with peace during this time of loss. Thank you for the beautiful reminder to hug our loved ones closer, to call our mothers and fathers, to love without measure every day. Each breath is a gift. Thank you for sharing the beautiful arrangement in her honor.

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Janice A Rivenburg February 7, 2021 - 4:03 pm

Dear Sharon, I am so very sorry for your loss! I am so glad that you are focusing on the beautiful memories as you grieve your loss. I acquired this attitude years ago when my husband died at the young age of 42. This healthy attitude allows us to keep our loved ones close to our hearts. I truly believe they are always with us even though we don’t see them in the flesh. The spiritual connection becomes stronger and stronger as our hearts heal. May your mother rest in peace and may God bless you and your family!

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Amal Moamar February 7, 2021 - 4:04 pm

Dear Sharon,
I am so sorry for your loss and please accept my condolences to you and your family. You wrote such a beautiful tribute and showed your devotion and love to a wonderful mother. You are a good daughter.
Peace and roses.

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Patricia February 7, 2021 - 4:04 pm

I’m so sorry for your loss. My mom and dad are also 89 and we are separated by a closed border. I wonder if I’ll see them again in person. Daily Skype calls (although just via voice since they don’t like the camera), emails, and little weekly notes via snail mail are keeping us in contact at the moment. Your reflection was beautifully written and reminded me to focus on what we do have.

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Inez Harpst February 7, 2021 - 4:05 pm

The lose of ones parent leaves a deep sadness that is released only with memory. God’s Blessings.

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Lisa Kilday February 7, 2021 - 4:06 pm

Such a beautiful tribute to your wonderful Mother❤️

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Susanne S February 7, 2021 - 4:07 pm

I too would like to send you my sincere condolences – to you and your family! May God bless her Soul!

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Deborah February 7, 2021 - 4:08 pm

Sharon, my condolences on the loss of your sweet Mother. I lost my Mother at a young age of 39 & she was only 66. I think of her often and like you, try to think of the fun times. I loved her very much.

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darby callahan February 7, 2021 - 4:11 pm

So sorry on the loss of your beloved Mother. You are blessed with such wonderful memories of her and were fortunate to have spent so many happy moments together.

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Adele February 7, 2021 - 4:12 pm

My heart goes out to you. It does get better, with time, and with the knowledge that your mother will always be with you in spirit. What I found most helpful, after my Mom died 11 years ago (and having suffered from dementia for nearly 10 years before that) was focusing on my gratitude that we had such a close, loving, supportive relationship. Not everyone has that.

May your mother’s memory be for a blessing.

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Dianne February 7, 2021 - 4:13 pm

Sharon-my condolences to you and your family for the loss of your lovely mother. Your ability to write now and share your grief with all of us is a healthy step in the grieving process as well as the shift to concentrating on the wonderful memories. She must’ve been so very proud of you and you will meet again one day as I will with my son, gone seven years now. Hugs

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Rob February 7, 2021 - 4:13 pm

You, too? I have just lost my precious mother, also. Nearly 91, but we still expect them to be with us forever, don’t we? There was no warning at all, indeed her Dr had just given her a glowing report two days prior. I had already been missing her so much as she was ‘past’ writing letters, & later ‘past’ phonecalls. But our mothers will always be with us, in all the special memories they have left. I have really appreciated reading your tribute, & knowing we are not alone after all…

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sandi February 7, 2021 - 4:16 pm

It has been said that ” when we lose someone we love we must learn not to live without them, but to live with the love they left behind.” (Unknown) May each day & night be filled w/her lasting love.

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Bonnie Wood February 7, 2021 - 4:17 pm

So sorry for your loss. My parents passed within 7 months of each other. In 2013 we had 4 funerals in a year’s time. May your good memories of your time with her help you through your grief. Our condolences .

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Allie February 7, 2021 - 4:18 pm

I most definitely understand! Time helps to heal. Sunday afternoons are the hardest when I want to pick up the phone and call. The lessons I learned both from my parents and how I behaved are ones I share with my children. I can hear their voices. Example: I should have made the effort to attend their 50th birthday. But I was in my 20’s in NYC and they lived in New Orleans. Money was tight.
Anyway, their love and guidance will always be with you! You are you because of them! Mental images of Roses are sent to you and your family!

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Julie February 7, 2021 - 4:23 pm

I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. She must have been an amazing person and I’ll admit I envy what sounds like a beautiful relationship. It seems you have a storehouse of wonderful memories to help keep you close to her. My prayers are with you.

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Judy February 7, 2021 - 4:24 pm

Dear Sharon…thank you for so beautifully expressing your thoughts as you experience the loss of your mother! May your heart be comforted.

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Teddee Grace February 7, 2021 - 4:29 pm

Please accept my condolences. It is never easy to lose your mother, no matter your age or hers, and I am so sorry you couldn’t be with her at the end.

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Carol A Everhart February 7, 2021 - 4:31 pm

Thank you for your words, I lost my brother to cancer in November, and am grieving his loss. I have not expressed my feelings to anyone really. Your eloquent insights helped me put things into a brighter prospective. Peace and blessings to you and yours.

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Charles Spada February 7, 2021 - 4:34 pm

Dear, Sharon

Sincere condolences.

The loss of our mother’s leaves a deep and lasting void for sure. My own mother Domenica passed away ten years ago, she was a lively 94, a wonderful mother and friend, always ready to go, loved country drives and further afield, we traveled to Europe and through Ireland, never a dull moment with Mae, her nickname, roses her favorite. The feeling of loss, of grief never goes away, it becomes a new and lasting part of us. Courage my friend.

Charles

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Wendi February 7, 2021 - 4:35 pm

My deepest condolences Sharon. It is such a difficult time especially with the lack of physical contact with the ones we love most. My prayers are with you & your family at this time and that you feel supported with the many “virtual” friends you have throughout this world.

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Rita Key February 7, 2021 - 4:36 pm

Sharon, I am so sorry for your loss. It is a part of life that is so heartbreaking. I lost my mother in 2019 and though it has gotten somewhat easier I know it will always be with me. I remember you speaking of your mother & your trips to see her and the things you both enjoyed doing together . Keep those times in your heart and treasure them as I know you will. Prayers for you & your family. Rita

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Barbara C February 7, 2021 - 4:42 pm

Sharon, fond memories are what enable us to go on when losing a close family member, especially a Mom. Take care and stay safe in these very strange times.

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Peggy Akerman February 7, 2021 - 4:43 pm

I am so sorry to hear of your Mother’s passing, especially during these difficult times. My Mother’s name was Rose also. Her epitaph reads” Those who live in the hearts they leave behind never truly die”. I have found great comfort in all the sweet, funny, loving memories of our time together.
I hope the memories you have of your Mother continue to bring you joy and comfort.

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Polly February 7, 2021 - 4:48 pm

I am so sorry for your loss. May you find comfort in your many happy memories of your dear mother. My mom is 95 and in a long term care home. I moved 300 miles away from her over 40 years ago, so like you, we raised our family away from her, but close enough to maintain regular visits. Now I Facetime with her every day, but it is not the same – human touch is so important. She is allowed a half-hour in-person visit once a week with my sister. These are hard times we are living in, yet we suffer so little compared to most of the rest of the world, where poverty, hunger and abuse run rampant. Staying thankful during painful losses is what will get us through! God bless you and your family.

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Mary Ewen February 7, 2021 - 4:49 pm

Dear Sharon,
I am so sorry for your loss for it is a grand loss to lose one’s mother. I appreciate your beautiful words you have shared with all of your devoted followers during this very strange time of inability to see friends and family.
May all our words of sympathy comfort you and your family during this difficult time.

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Terri February 7, 2021 - 4:50 pm

Sharon I am so sorry for your loss. It is difficult to lose a parent anytime, but especially now when things are so different. You are right to focus on the positive and your sweet memories instead of dwelling on something that was out of your control. You will be in my thoughts and prayers as you move forward.

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Kathy Castonguay February 7, 2021 - 4:53 pm

I know that she was very proud of and comforted by having you as her daughter. You and your family brought her so much joy and made her feel loved and valued. My mother died five years ago on Feb. 5 and while unpacking my desk contents from our move just two weeks ago, a prayer card commemorating her death emerged, almost as a reminder to remember her. We never forget. My heart goes out to you.

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Madonna February 7, 2021 - 4:54 pm

Please accept my condolences. Rose has raised a wonderful daughter. I have thought of you many times and wondered about your family. You have been so generous in thought and spirit to all your friends and people you barely know. I had attributed this trait to your mother and the thought of her passing this trait on to you has blessed us all.

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Bev Norman February 7, 2021 - 4:55 pm

Wonderful, loving words for your mother and. May the words of sympathy comfort you and your family during this time.

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Carol February 7, 2021 - 4:59 pm

Yes, my mother is gone too. So sorry for your immense loss. Some days I find comfort in the words of M.F.K Fisher: “God gave us memories so we could have roses in winter and mothers forever.”

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Franki Parde February 7, 2021 - 5:02 pm

Sincerest sympathies…the fragrance of a rose will always be a most pleasant reminder….franki

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Nancy Brantley February 7, 2021 - 5:02 pm

Deepest Condolences to you, Sharon. Prayers and Hugs.

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CK February 7, 2021 - 5:04 pm

Four years ago, in a winter full of extreme cold (-40 degrees F) and snow piled up to 10 feet, my father passed away. He was 92. He lived his life full of the joy of raising cattle on our ranch. I still miss him so very much and understand your sadness…but also understand your joy of memories shared.
In a very strange way, I keep telling myself how lucky he was to have left us then…and not during the craziness of today’s pandemic world. He would not have believed this to be real. So for that I am grateful he’s gone and I have many wonderful memories to relive.
My prayers are with you and your family in this time of loss.

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Dahlia February 7, 2021 - 5:04 pm

My deepest condolences

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Sharon E February 7, 2021 - 5:05 pm

May you find peace with all your good memories of the past. Your mother would want it that way. Stay well.

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Denise Naset February 7, 2021 - 5:05 pm

Oh Sharon I’m so sorry to hear of your loss! What a beautiful lady she most have been. What beautiful words spoken of her. The memories are the most precious gifts we have to treasure for a lifetime! Knowing she’s right with you deep in your heart will help with some of your pain. Prayers I send to you and your family.
All my love and prayers ♥️

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Maria Novales February 7, 2021 - 5:06 pm

My condolences to you and your family.
Maria

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Barbara A Steward February 7, 2021 - 5:11 pm

I have recently lost my husband, a daughter who was a doctor at Stanford, and I live in a rural part of Corbridge, Northumberland, solo now. It is the truly most difficult time and the grief is painful, keeps changing its direction too. I can empathise with you. This plague monster does not allow for a normal process and some little forays to lighten the load. Your site is so uplifting…thank you. If the media also stopped shrouding everything in gloom it would help so much too, the truth, yes..but the constant negativity to sell papers is irresponsible.

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Regina Drover February 7, 2021 - 5:16 pm

So sorry to read this sad news today . But, be assured, your sweet Rose will always be with you.❤️

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Lynne O’Connor February 7, 2021 - 5:19 pm

Your beautiful photograph of your roses is very uplifting. Focussing on this in reflection of all your mother meant to you should sustain you and bring warmth to your heart. My grandmother told me you can never be angry or sad when you look at flowers. Peace be with you at this time of loss.

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Debbie Courtney February 7, 2021 - 5:23 pm

My thoughts and prayers are with you, Sharon. Even though I do not personally know you, I feel like I DO KNOW You. I feel like you handle life with such grace. It certainly shows with your sweet story about your Mother and the celebration of her life. May Rose live on with great memories in your heart.

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Blanca February 7, 2021 - 5:33 pm

Dear Sharon, sorry for your loss,
My mom passed away On October 2020
I was able to be with her on her las days. I knew it was her time to go with God,
God prepared me, she was a blessing, she left in peace, and I know I will see her again one day in heaven. May God comfort you and gave peace to your heart knowing that one day you will see her again.
Sending you a big hug. God bless you.

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Julie February 7, 2021 - 5:34 pm

My own mother, aged 89 also, passed away on January 21st. She was on hospice care and was able to die at home with me. Two caregivers and I were her closest companions at the end. The last time our family was together was December 2019. It was a good final visit. We didnt want them to see her in her decline and visits were too much for her. In her last days she was able to reconnect via phone and FaceTime. It helped her move forward in her passing. I miss her, my best friend, every day.

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Leslie Lord February 7, 2021 - 5:40 pm

Sharon I am very sorry to hear of your mother passing away. Sending heartfelt condolences to you.
I don’t think that we ever get over the demise of our moms. Mine passed a few years ago and I think of her each and every day.
Take care.

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Eileen February 7, 2021 - 5:47 pm

Sincere sympathies for your loss. As daughters I think we continue to hear our Mother’s voice in our minds for the rest of our lives, celebrating, commiserating, offering advice……

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Susie Hopper February 7, 2021 - 5:56 pm

Sending love and peace as you process and grieve your Mother’s passing.

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Donna M Wilkinson February 7, 2021 - 5:58 pm

So very sorry…..Prayers that God will continue to give you strength and peace through this difficult journey.

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Jan Taliercio February 7, 2021 - 6:00 pm

The roses are a fitting tribute for a special loved one from your beautiful soul. I am so sorry for your loss.

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Tammy Fox February 7, 2021 - 6:02 pm

I am so very sorry about losing your mom I to have lost my mother she was taken bu cancer, I don’t believe there is a day that goes by I don’t think of or remember her. The first few months are the hardest but then one day you realize there was a reason why she left, and its not easier, its just something you could not control, but they never really leave us, in some way they are still beside us and let us know. I hope with time you will get to feel her once again and know she is well and good. With deepest sympathy

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Carole J February 7, 2021 - 6:05 pm

Dear Sharon, my heart sank with sadness reading this today. I too lost my mother back in ‘12 and miss her. I am thankful for the happy moments and all I learned from her in life. I am certain your mother was so proud of you and look at all you learned from your mother too. Your love of the garden and your amazing arrangements were probably inspired by your early years growing up. Peaceful days and happy memories of time spent with your mom, Rose to reflect and carry you through ahead.

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Beverly February 7, 2021 - 6:11 pm

Sharon,
Someone sent me this poem when my mom died. Perhaps you know it already. I found it very comforting and it even uses some of the same language that you did in your post.

I Am Standing Upon The Seashore.

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side,
spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts
for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck
of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then, someone at my side says, “There, she is gone”

Gone where?

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast,
hull and spar as she was when she left my side.
And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me — not in her.
And, just at the moment when someone says, “There, she is gone,”
there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices
ready to take up the glad shout, “Here she comes!”

And that is dying…

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Lynn Casper February 7, 2021 - 6:34 pm

Dear Sharon,
You are a beautiful writer! Straight from the heart!
What a beautiful way to honor your Mother.

Fondly, Lynn

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Robert February 7, 2021 - 6:34 pm

I feel your loss……not just a person called mother….. but your initial connection to this life.
She will always be with you in spirit and is part of you.My condolences and may this quote from
Rousseau comfort you.

https://www.quoteswave.com/picture-quotes/141042

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Marla Patterson February 7, 2021 - 6:35 pm

Dear Lovely Sharon, Thank you for sharing such beautiful words about Mother Rose. I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom when I was 50. May heavenly arms receive her and may heavenly arms hold you close.

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Mari February 7, 2021 - 6:35 pm

My mom also died during this time of imposed quarantine due to the Covid scare. I was unable to see her – just a phone conversation, talking on my part only – before she died. There was no funeral – no one was aloud to congregate – so she was buried without service or anyone at the grave site. It is hard to grasp how difficult this is unless you have had to experience it yourself. I am so sorry, Sharon, that you have had to go through this, too. It is hard enough to lose a lifetime friend and parent in the best of times. All we can do is put our minds on the good memories and leave the hard part behind, hopefully to fade in the future years.

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Pamela Morrison February 7, 2021 - 6:35 pm

So heartened by the fact that your mum was never lonely!! For so many seniors this sadly is the hardest part of aging.
What wonderful memories you must have. To know she loved you and you loved her is all that matters. Distance can’t ever take that away ❤️

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Deborah Lindsay February 7, 2021 - 6:36 pm

Dear Sharon,
My heart goes out to you in this time of grieving. Sending love and a virtual hug. Here if you need me.
Deborah

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Chris Millyard February 7, 2021 - 6:56 pm

My condolences to you, treasure your memories. My Mum died a few years ago. At the time I too lived in France whilst my Mum died in the uk, sadly she was alone. It was a sudden death without warning to me or either of my two sisters. Eventually we were able to celebrate her life. The hardest to deal with was when one of my younger sisters died just 8mths ago in the midst of all the current pandemic issues. Numbers for attending her funeral were limited, I therefore watched my sister’s funeral on an iPad sitting alone at home. Such cruel circumstances but I know I wasn’t alone in having to say ‘goodbye’ to a loved one via 21st century technology. Such are the times that we find ourselves in. Memories are our treasures.

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Shirley Graham February 7, 2021 - 7:00 pm

I am so sorry to learn of your loss. I find as I grow older that the memories certainly help and we can cry and laugh and remember.

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Chris Millyard February 7, 2021 - 7:01 pm

You can shed tears that she is gone,
Or you can smile because she has lived
You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her
Or you can be full of the love that you shared
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday
You can remember her and only that she is gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

Written 1981
David Harkins 1959 –
Silloth, Cumbria, UK

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Tracy Bedeker February 7, 2021 - 7:01 pm

Sharon,
So sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Your mom will be forever remembered and the memories you have with be cherished for years to come. Loving thoughts

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Nichola February 7, 2021 - 7:04 pm

Dear Sharon, I’m truly sorry for the loss of your dear mother, Rose…may she continue to perfume your living days with beautiful memories, love and closeness of spirit only a mother can impart.

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Vicky from Athens February 7, 2021 - 7:08 pm

Sharon, I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you feel the love and sympathy sent by so many of your readers. What beautiful messages of comfort and condolence for you and your family. Your mother will never be far away as she lives on in all of your wonderful memories.

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Maggie February 7, 2021 - 7:20 pm

Your loss is unmeasurable in so many ways, on you your children and your family in England. I find that after thr loss of my father to Covid on his 95 th birthday that we talk about him. My family was lucky(if you can say that) to have a funeral for my father. Which allowed us to have a time to say goodbye. But it is the funny pictures, the talk of a long full life and to be able to see what a gift it was to have my dad until I was the greatest gift I could have gotten.

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Janet February 7, 2021 - 7:20 pm

Dear Sharon,
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother in 2006 as well as my father. I am thankful for all the wonderful memories they have left me to cherish and pass on to my own children. A few years after they passed, I began having wonderful dreams of them. In my dreams they appear younger, healthy and happy. It is comforting to “see them again”. My wish for you is that you too will soon have these wonderful dreams of your beloved mother. I will keep you in my prayers.

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Mary Coleman February 7, 2021 - 7:32 pm

Thank you , dear Sharon, for sharing your aching and tender heart with us. Your beautiful happy life was a gift to your mother. My mother was named Rosemary and when we knew the end was near all her neighbors cut the roses from their late summer gardens and brought them to us. We surrounded her completely with them even around her head on the pillows. It was so beautiful when the angels came to take her. She smiled.
God bless you and your family. You will see a lot of cardinals now, nature’s valentine.

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Rebekah February 7, 2021 - 7:48 pm

Thank you for showing us that grief can be felt at the same time as gratitude and beauty. So sorry for your loss. May the Good Shepherd walk beside you through this “valley of the shadow…”

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Betty February 7, 2021 - 7:58 pm

Beautiful tribute to what was a beautiful Rose…

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Martha Brooks February 7, 2021 - 8:14 pm

Good News, Sharon!
God always keeps His promises and you WILL see your mother again when Jesus comes.
My own dear mother was my spiritual rock and in my darkest hours then and now, her words sustain me: “God WILL take care of it.”
I thank God for the mother that he gave me and for His promise that I will see her again.
Take care of yourself in the coming days as grief can take a toll on your health, dear friend.

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Dianne February 7, 2021 - 8:16 pm

PS—If my memory serves me, you have a birthday this month so Happy Birthday to you.

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Ellen F February 7, 2021 - 8:31 pm

Sharon, thank you for sharing. Words alone cannot heal, only time will do that. I lost my mom in December 2012 and am still trying to not guilt-trip myself for not having done things differently. We enjoyed a wonderful vacation that September, and in hindsight I think it was meant to be her last gift to me – time spent together. These days I contemplate how I would handle the situation with Covid, and am thankful that that was a challenge I didn’t have to deal with. She knew you loved her greatly and that is all that matters. Blessings to you and your family.

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Susan February 7, 2021 - 8:49 pm

I am so sorry for your loss and the way things are now and not being able to see and visit in person. But glad you have great memories.

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Marie-Brigitte Dossor February 7, 2021 - 9:16 pm

So sorry for your loss. Distance is difficult but you have given your all and done your best with that. I too had distance with my mum. As you say, the memories are yours to keep forever xo

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Teresa C February 7, 2021 - 9:18 pm

My condolences to you, dear one. Even though now you feel you are farther apart from your Mother than a country, believe she is closer to you than you think! Heaven is not dark, far away. Those who loved us while living do not cease loving, caring for us after death. Believe that love grows even stronger. You have my sympathy and my prayers. God bless you.

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Lisa D. February 7, 2021 - 9:34 pm

I lost my mother in 2011 and my father in 2015. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of them lovingly. They were part of the greatest generation – a very special generation, whose members are sadly dwindling. I am so sorry for your loss, Sharon. God bless you.

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Lynde Stubbs February 7, 2021 - 9:39 pm

Dear Sharon,
I’m sorry for your loss.
But, you will see your mom again in Heaven.
Because of Jesus dying for our sins we can all go to Heaven and be with our love ones again.
I can’t wait to see my mom in Heaven., what fun that will be !
May Jesus bless you in this sorrowful time.
Sincerely,’Lynde

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david terry February 7, 2021 - 9:42 pm

Dear Sharon, Im so sorry to read this sad news. My own mother is still married to my father, and all too lively at age 83. In that, I know I am fortunate. Now…..do you know this poem by Edna St. Vincent Millay, about the loss of her own mother? It’s lovely.
The courage that my mother had
Edna St. Vincent Millay – 1892-1950

“The courage that my mother had
Went with her, and is with her still:
Rock from New England quarried;
Now granite in a granite hill.

The golden brooch my mother wore
She left behind for me to wear;
I have no thing I treasure more:
Yet, it is something I could spare.

Oh, if instead she’d left to me
The thing she took into the grave!—
That courage like a rock, which she
Has no more need of, and I have.”

Sincerely,
David Terry

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Marianne C Spano Whitman February 7, 2021 - 9:52 pm

Dear Sharon, I am so very sorry for the loss of your mom. I do know how much it hurts. I lost my mom so unexpectedly in 2013, after have dinner together, as she lived with us for about 8 or 9 years so I could keep her safe and warm and well fed and clean. I loved her so much, even as a child I used to pray to St. Jude, my favorite saint, to take me before my parents as I loved them so. My dad, Salvatore, passed in 1990. Too young, I thought surely I would die from such grief. That first Christmas with all of us together, grieving, was the only way we got through that beloved holiday, together. My mom, Catherine, was just a week short of 98 years, but a I still did not have her with me for enough years. Maybe that sounds selfish, but all losses are very painful depending on how attached we are to them and how loved and needed they are. Think of her often, even if you cry, as that will keep her memory alive in you. As long as we remember them, and say prayers for their souls, which is very important, they are still with us, in memory. I think the loss of a mama is perhaps the worst one, except for that of a child. Remember your good times either her and cherish those memories. One day you will remember them without sobbing, but that takes much time. Be good to yourself especially during this time when our world has been almost destroyed by evil people. Sincerely, Marianne The roses are very beautiful.

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maywyn February 7, 2021 - 10:03 pm

Prayers and heart felt sympathy for your loss

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Karen Smith February 8, 2021 - 11:48 am

Sending you such love and peace. The way you write about your Mom was so beautiful; and your memories will be with you for always. They’ll sustain you and bring you moments of great joy and strength. We only get one Mom in our life time and they are with us forever.

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Julia February 7, 2021 - 10:21 pm

Dear Sharon,

I hope your broken heart continues to be filled with all the lovely memories of your Mother. Blessings to you and your family.

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Bev Lambert February 7, 2021 - 10:25 pm

I am so sorry to hear about your Mum, such a sad time and even harder when you could not be with her. 🙁
I live in France and my elderly Mum is in Australia, I am scared I may not see her again as I can’t go to visit and have no idea when it will be possible to go 🙁 she doesn’t have the internet so I can only phone Skype call her which is at least something and I do it alot. Occasionally my daughter will go to my Mum’s house and set up a video call so we can all see each other.
These are difficult times and we are all trying to find ways to cope with loss and separation. 🙁
Sending hugs from the Aude xxx

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Janet Tunget February 7, 2021 - 10:27 pm

Sharon, thank you for your candidness. I am so very sorry for your loss. Mother’s are so special and I am glad you were able to spend wonderful times with her. I miss my mother so much and it has been eight years since she passed. Christmas is hard because we loved it so much and had such wonderful times. I take out my memories often and feel so blessed to have her. Your mother is never gone from your heart or memories. Thank you for the beautiful roses.

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Kathy February 7, 2021 - 10:29 pm

Dear Sharon,

This past year has been such a struggle for all of us and to add to that heartache, you’ve now lost your mother. I am truly sorry for your loss. My mom passed two years ago and as someone else commented previously, I’m grateful it was prior to Covid. She would not have understood why I couldn’t hold her hand and give her a hug. Precious memories and happy times are especially dear now and a great source of comfort. Thank you for sharing your message – a good reminder to all of us that we’re in this life together and need to love and support one another each and every day.

Ascension

And if I go, while you’re still here…
Know that I live on, vibrating to a different measure
behind a thin veil you cannot see through.
You will not see me, so you must have faith.
I wait for the time when we can soar together again,
both aware of each other. Until then, live your life to its fullest.
And when you need me, just whisper my name in your heart
and I will be there.
Colleen Corah Hitchcock

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BILLIE February 7, 2021 - 10:31 pm

Sharon, your attitude is positive and appreciated. I am fortunate that my parents are 96 and 97, in good health, and live only a three hour drive away. I, like you, visited them every month, but haven’t since the fall. Because I am single now with my daughter grown, in the last few years they have become even more significant in my life. And I believe the longer your parents live (if they are a part of your life) the more inadvertently dependent you become on their always being there. But I can’t help but face the reality that I have only a limited time left with them. And although I will be devastated when they are gone, I am bracing myself, and determined to focus on being thankful for all the time I had with them, and celebrate what long, healthy, worthwhile and fulfilling lives they had. My best to you.

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Kathy N February 7, 2021 - 10:42 pm

We are never prepared. Between 2010 and 2016 I said goodbye to both parents, both in-laws, an a sister. There was wonder with the tears, such as the mourning dove’s call at 1:30am when Mother’s spirit left her body, and the doe that bounded through the field just at the moment the emergency personnel verified that my sister was gone. Perhaps best of all was the reminder at my sister’s funeral that if indeed I believe we have a soul, then it is not appropriate to speak of my loved ones in the past tense – they live, if not in my sight just now. I have chosen to celebrate their birthdays with some activity or interest we shared; we eat watermelon graveside in honor of my dad and tell stories about him, I bake bread with Mother’s crock bowl and wooden spoon, and for my sister I created a “sister garden” with all the shade plants that she longed for but which did not do well on her patch of prairie. Each time I recognize something in myself that was a gift from one I cherished, I say thank you. I also “adopted” a lady whose kids all live out of state, and pour some of that extra love into her! Pain can enlarge the chambers of our heart if we allow it, making room for others who need that shelter in which to dwell. Perhaps that is the imperative of grieving, as with trauma… we must find ways to make meaning of it and rewrite the narratives of loss to ones of hope. Be gentle with yourself. This process will direct you and it will not be rushed.

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Christine Webb-Curtis February 7, 2021 - 10:45 pm

My mother died 16 years ago and I continue to weep when I talk about her. But along with the weeping come memories that sustain me and just as often, the tears turn into a smile, and sometimes if I’m lucky, a chuckle. Cherish your memories and remember that grieving has no end point. Just enjoy the fullness of all those feelings. It does her proud.

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Mary tindukasiri February 7, 2021 - 10:47 pm

Loosing one’s mother is so incredibly soul scorching. I am so happy that your mother had a blessed and full life.
Sending love,
Mary

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Christina Edwards February 7, 2021 - 11:14 pm

Every time I hear of someone that loses their mom, I can’t help but ache for them. That primal, unconditional love is so special and never to be duplicated. I lost my mom 7 years ago and it still hurts. But it has gotten better and your pain will ease as well. Be gentle with yourself. Time and distance don’t apply to a daughter’s love for her mother. Your mom held your love in her heart and always will. Sending virtual hugs to a lovely lady. Take care.

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Colleen Taylor February 8, 2021 - 12:02 am

Sharon, I’m so terribly sorry to hear this. My profound sympathy to you & your family. I lost my mother years ago. All has been said & hopefully they will give you some comfort during this time. Sending you love and peace from afar. X

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Kathryn Gauci February 8, 2021 - 12:35 am

I am so sorry for your loss, and like others know the grief only too well. There is always be a void but if it can be replaced with happy memories, then we have much to be thankful for. I am sure she is proud of you. Take care. x

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Marg Gibbs February 8, 2021 - 12:51 am

My heartfelt arms around you. I still have the wooden coat hangers scribbled with my mother’s signature on them to make me smile and cry. One day, I guess, I will pass and my own daughter will be grieving. The circle of life moves on.

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Evangeline February 8, 2021 - 1:07 am

Sharon,

So deeply sorry for the loss of your Mother……

You carry her in your heart.

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Catherine Kelly February 8, 2021 - 1:48 am

Death is not the end, Sharon. We will all be resurrected when Jesus returns as King. He is the One to cling to.

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Frances February 8, 2021 - 1:52 am

Dear Sharon,
My heart goes out to you upon the loss of your Mother. I would say may her memory be a blessing but I can tell from your post that it most certainly is and your gratitude for her life and love is apparent. Please take care of yourself in this sad time.

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Hildred Sullivan February 8, 2021 - 2:09 am

Sharon, My sincere condolences to you on the loss of your dear mother. It was fifteen years this past week that I lost mine and it went by in a blink. Time helps in some aspects but when it is your mother you just always miss her, especially on big days like my own children’s graduations and weddings and the recent birth of my first grandchild. Or on small days when you think, “Oh mom would love this restaurant or that sunset.” It is indeed a blessing to have lovely times to remember – may they keep you going through the difficult days ahead.

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LindaSonia February 8, 2021 - 3:00 am

My heart goes out to you for your loss in these very difficult times. May you find comfort and a peace that passes all understanding. God Bless. ((Hugs))

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jackie February 8, 2021 - 3:18 am

I am so very sorry for your loss. I was actually thinking about your mother about 8 weeks ago and wondering if she was still here. I am sure that she would absolutely not want you to feel any guilt on the enforced separation. Life is fleeting but more so for some more than others . I would think a life well lived and she was well loved. What more could one ask for than that.

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Pat February 8, 2021 - 3:42 am

So sorry for your loss, those happy memories will always be with you.
Pat

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Susan N. February 8, 2021 - 3:45 am

Please accept my deepest condolences on the loss of your Mother. It is such a difficult loss to accept, and yet we must. I lost my Mother over 6 years ago and miss her terribly, as well as my Father. I will pray for your Mother, and for your family to find the peace that will come with knowing she will always be with you. Stay safe and take care of yourself, it is so important at this time.

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Denise Tyrrell February 8, 2021 - 4:12 am

Reading your post brought tears and overwhelming emotion of my own mother who died in The UK in April 2019 nearly exactly a year after my father. Thankfully she died with my sister and niece holding her hand while I could only watch with the technology of FaceTime from Australia. I feel your pain. God bless xx

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Steven February 8, 2021 - 4:36 am

Sincere condolences to you and your family. Those dear to us who have departed live on in our hearts and remembrances. There is comfort in that.

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Sue February 8, 2021 - 5:30 am

Dear Sharon,
I’m so sorry you have lost your Mother, especially during these difficult times, it must have been so hard not being with her when you needed each other most.
I lost both my Mother and sister within a few weeks of each other just before Covid and I now think we were so blessed, although I am still so very sad and am always thinking…..I must tell Mother, or my sister, this, or she would like to know that and so on…at least we could be together.
Our very special 6yr old grandson told me a few years ago when we had lost our dear old cat and I was feeling sad… and I must have said we didn’t have an animal anymore. This dear young fellow ( on the autism spectrum too), stopped in front of me and tapped me on my chest and said… Gran, you still have little Kit, she will always be in your heart.
Your Mother is still with you…she will always be in your heart Sharon.

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Jody Gabara February 8, 2021 - 5:34 am

Dear Sharon, so sorry for your loss of your mother. I know this from losing my mother also! Sending hugs and prayers at this difficult time!

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Emm February 8, 2021 - 5:39 am

Sharon, I am so sorry for your and your family’s loss. My condolences. Your approach is so positive, so helpful, that I’m sure she would be impressed. And with time the hurt will ease, although she’ll always be with you in some respect.

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Deanah Greene February 8, 2021 - 5:48 am

I hope in time your tears of grief turn into little giggles from funny thoughts and memories you shared.

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Darla L. Galloway February 8, 2021 - 6:58 am

Dearest Sharon,
Our hearts hurt for you at hearing of the loss of your lovely mum. The beautiful bouquet of roses you posted in her memory, and the touching memories you shared, leaves no doubt that even with the distant between you that your mother never doubted your love and devotion to her. You are both blessed to have shared such a wonderful and meaningful relationship. Thank you for sharing and for reminding us to focus on what’s truly important in life: our relationships.

Sending light and love your way-every day!

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Carole Fitzgerald February 8, 2021 - 7:40 am

Dear Sharon, I am so sorry for your loss ; my thoughts are with you love from Carole xxx

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Patricia Arlott February 8, 2021 - 10:49 am

Dear Sharon, You have written a beautiful tribute to your mother and I wept many tears reading it. It must have been so difficult to be unable to touch and hold your mother in recent months but of course what matters is the years of love exchanged. I am very sad for you but it seems that Rose had a life that was very beautifully completed.

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Jill Cannon February 8, 2021 - 11:54 am

What a beautiful touching tribute to your dear mother Rose (my favourite name). Amidst the grief there is indeed deep comfort in the knowledge that a loved one lived a well lived life. I’m a Canadian long-time resident in the UK and over the years I always noted your charming photos of England/Kent during your visits with your mother. Your photos/visits often prompted me to phone my own mother. One silver lining about living miles from our families is that time spent together becomes all the more precious. Take care.

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Virginia Kinzer February 8, 2021 - 12:08 pm

From the bottom of my heart, I wish to extend my most sincere condolences over the loss of your mother, Rose. What a beautiful tribute you have written about your mother! How poignant and deep is the loss of our mother for it only happens once. I am saddened that the pandemic separated you in your greatest hour of need. Indeed, you will be sustained by countless memories of your dear mother.

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Shannon Ables February 8, 2021 - 12:25 pm

Sharon,

Sending love to you and your family. You carry and present yourself with such grace, and even in today’s post continue to reveal your strength. No doubt your mother embodied some if not many of the qualities which inspire your readers as well, and my thoughts are with you during your time of grief.

All my love,
Shannon

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Laura Susan February 8, 2021 - 2:08 pm

I am so very sorry for the loss of your mother. Praying for you and all her loved ones. May God bless you above and beyond with comfort and love during this time.

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Rita C at Panoply February 8, 2021 - 2:26 pm

Sharon, my sincere sympathy extends to your grieving heart. There absolutely is no bond greater than mother/child. My mother had 9 children, and we each miss her terribly so, and honor her in our individual and special ways. She has been gone 14 yrs now. The grief of her leaving was nearly replaced with the appreciation of everything she was while she was here. While you honor your mother with a floral arrangement, I feel my mother’s nearness best while listening to music and praying. Wishing you peace and love.

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Margo February 8, 2021 - 3:05 pm

There are no words to express the feelings of loss when you lose your mom. It will be 20 years this year and as someone mentioned, not a day goes by that I don’t think of her. She is an everlasting presence in my life.
Despite our loss, we as a group of readers share the gift of having a loving relationship with our mothers. The eloquence of this group amazes me and it’s heartwarming to know that it brings you a measure of comfort at this time.

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Dottie Monta February 8, 2021 - 3:31 pm

Oh Sharon, how sad I am to read of the loss of your dear mother. Age does not matter; my own mother was just 49, and I but 20. My heart and my prayers go out to you. May I take this opportunity to thank you, again, for bringing beauty and inspiration to us all, no doubt inherited from a loving mother named Rose. Deepest sympathy and love, Dottie

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Antonia February 8, 2021 - 4:04 pm

I offer my most sincere condolences and I you will see your mother in your children and in the many earthly items that are in your home. My mother passed – age 96 – two years ago and yes I still miss her – the talks,
brunches out, etc and so many times I feel her presence when I see something I know she would have enjoyed.
My your cherished memories bring you happiness and comfort. Thank you for sharing, wishing you peace.

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Laura Cook February 8, 2021 - 4:52 pm

You are definitely not alone! My mother’s 102nd birthday is coming up. Last year, I was 3000 miles away in NYC celebrating with her. This pandemic year I have been coaxing her along by telephone to keep on going until I can visit again. She has been losing her eyesight and wants to see me while she can. I am finally getting my first vaccine dose so I hope that visit will be in time. That has been one of the greatest pressures of this past year. I also have tried not to feel guilty—we have done what we could. We have had them longer than most, and it has been wonderful. Thanks for your wise reflections.

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Beryl February 8, 2021 - 5:02 pm

May every rose you see, touch or smell, bring to your heart and mind, all the love you shared with your mom. God Bless you.

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Eileen Davies February 8, 2021 - 5:35 pm

I am so very sorry for your loss and I thank you for sharing your experience! Rose sounded like a lovely woman and how lucky were you to call her mom:) My own mother is 84 years old and unlike yours lives only 25 minutes from me in Philadelphia. We, like you and your mother, have shared lots of wonderful times together, including many moments digging in our gardens together. I am very blessed at the age of 60 to still have her in my life and what I take from your article is that I need to take advantage of EVERY moment that we have left on this earth together. Thank you again for sharing and know that your sharing has inspired me:) Fine Regards, Eileen B. Davies

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LYNETTE February 8, 2021 - 6:05 pm

Dearest Sharon and Family of Beloved Rose:
My deepest sympathies and condolences to you and your family.Time passes both swiftly and slowly. It has been eight (8) years since my lovely Mother Gloria passed. Her big and generous heart stopped beating, she was revived, her Doctors and Nurses came from different floors to assist her in ICU. I was able to go in and touch her and tell her I loved her. She heard her grandchildren’s voices ; I played music for her and then the Doctor said she was gone. When a Butterfly lands on me, I immediately know she is sending me a whispering kiss. May your precious memories of your Mother Rose sustain you and comfort you in the days and years ahead.

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Kameela February 8, 2021 - 6:09 pm

Dear Sharon.My thoughts are with you . It is indeed a sad time for you and your family compounded with not being able to be with them physically .What a beautiful name. My mother passed away some years ago and I was in the same situation in that I was thousands of miles away in the UK .What made it less traumatic for me was that I had visited her 6 months previously and spent two beautiful weeks by her side. We laughed a lot and recounting stories and cried a little. It is the cherished memories that you share together which will sustain you through this. Bon courage .Kameela x

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Cindy Stierhoff February 8, 2021 - 7:21 pm

Dear Sharon..my deepest sympathies go out to you, we are never prepared to loose our Mothers, even when we know it’s eminent. I see my Mom come into my dreams still have 20 years, always young and vibrant, the way I want to remember her, not the way MS &

diabetes came to destroy her. Peace be with you now, your Mother is in God’s hands, thats the best rose ever Cindy

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Kenia Barrio February 8, 2021 - 7:31 pm

Dear Sharon, it is a very sad bridge to cross, the memories of your times together will forever be treasured in your heart. Rose is such a beautiful name, I have a granddaughter named Rose. May her laughter accompany you.

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Mary Bustamante February 8, 2021 - 7:56 pm

So very sorry about the loss of your mother. My mother passed in 1997 in my home where she had come to live. Regardless of having her so close at her passing, the grief was still over whelming. I actually had a pain in my chest – a broken heart for weeks. Even now she still pops into my head but in a good way – happy memories for me. I have a section in my lower garden filled with roses and companion plants in her favorite colors (mine too).

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Sandra February 8, 2021 - 8:39 pm

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal – love leaves a memory no one can steel !!! Those precious memories will give you peace ❤️

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Terry Driggers February 8, 2021 - 9:05 pm

What an incredibly beautiful tribute to your precious Mom….. Your sweet memories are the best ! My Mom lived to be 92 and passed away two years ago….. We miss her terribly! Thank goodness we did live close by … but she had dimentia the last couple of years of her life and did not really know who her children were ….. very sad.. but she was the most amazing Mother and loved her family with all her being!

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Ruth February 9, 2021 - 4:09 pm

Dear Sharon, so very sorry to hear of your Mum’s passing. My condolences to you and your family.
May all your cherished memories give you comfort and peace, especially your time in your beautiful gardens. My thoughts are with you.

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Lorrie Orr February 8, 2021 - 9:42 pm

Dear Sharon,
I am so sorry for the loss of your mother, and extend my deepest sympathies. May you continue to find comfort in the memories that you have of your beautiful mother. This is a hard and strange time to lose loved ones. Praying for comfort and peace for you and your family.

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Susan B February 8, 2021 - 10:39 pm

Dear Sharon,

What a beautiful tribute to your mother. I lost my Mom 24 years ago at the age of 65. The mother/daughter bond is so strong and I still miss her. I will be praying for God’s peace and comfort to surround you and your family.

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Holly February 9, 2021 - 2:28 am

I am so very sorry for your loss. I also lost my mom in December before the holidays. It’s one thing to lose a parent, but as you said the constraints the pandemic has put on the time we spend with those we love and the ability to say goodbye makes it all the harder. I wish you peace and comfort in your time of loss.

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GAIL February 9, 2021 - 11:02 am

Dear Sharon

Deepest sympathy for the loss of your beautiful mother. You will miss her love, friendship and her unwavering support but time is a great healer and your sadness will gradually give way to the comforting memories you made together throughout her life.

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Karen February 9, 2021 - 12:28 pm

Dear Sharon,

I found your letter this morning. We are of a similar age, when parents begin their gentle leaving of our worlds. It has been the most difficult thing, losing my mother, and the missing grows stronger over time.
She must have been so proud of what you have achieved, and how others, like me, love your stories.
With you in Spirit.
Karen

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Delaine Lewis Stoner February 9, 2021 - 11:49 pm

Sharon, I am so very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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Kathy S February 9, 2021 - 11:58 pm

Sharon, We are never ready to lose our Mom. I am glad that you had a lovely relationship. She will always be the voice in your head and have a strong hold on your heart. I lost my Mom two years ago and grieving is a process. Allow the tears and I promise the smiles and laughs will follow. Those always come when it has been a life well loved! And no matter how or when they go. . . you will always want for just one more hug and kiss. Bless you and your sweet Rose.

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Brenda Chambers February 10, 2021 - 1:06 am

My sincere condolences to you and your family. Heaven just received another angel, Momma Rose is in a great place and watching over all of her loved ones. It is so sad when we lose a loved one. Sorry that the virus kept you away but at least you were able to connect virtually. I had an older brother who summed things up so simply, We are making memories every day by what we do.

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Iona Spencer February 10, 2021 - 2:33 pm

Hi Sharon, what a wonderful daughter you have been to Rose. It’s a sad time but Rose knew she was loved. She will always be looking over you. With lots of love and a big hug. ❤️ Iona

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Leslie Basham February 10, 2021 - 9:58 pm

Dear sweet Sharon, I am so sorry for the death of your Momma Rose. My mother also passed away on January 24, 2021, and she too was 89 years old. Your post was so helpful to me as well. My mom died at our home and though I didn’t get to say goodbye, I was with her that morning before she fell asleep for good. You helped me focus on the positive things, one being that her name was Clarinda, and my daughter Claire is named after her. She is a bright light, which of course her name means in French. (-; All blessings to you and your family. <3

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Patricia February 11, 2021 - 6:57 pm

Dear Sharon,
I am so sorry for the loss of your dear mother, Rose. She sounds like a wonderful mother.
I am happy for you that you had her for so many years, that she was able to live to 89. I know these last months of confinement for virus have been heavy on your heart when not being able to travel to see her.

Thank you for writing about your feelings. As I read all the lovely sentiments I know we are all feeling deeply for your loss and also, bringing back memories of the losses of our parents. I would give so much to have known my father as an adult, he died when I was a child. Mostly I would like to know about his time in France in WW2. It was terrible, I know. He was throughout France, from Le Havre to Belgium. In your area of France.

Keep your memories of time spent with your mother and remember your dearest Rose, as the sweet loving mother she was.

I close with sincere sympathy to you and your family.

Here is a poem I wrote in January 2020, after the death of a dear friend….she died early of dementia.

“How do you fill a hole in your heart?

I don’t think you can.
You cannot touch them again.
You can’t go to visit and have a cup of tea.
You can’t call them on the phone and share news or ask for their prayers.
You can’t tell them your secrets or tell them about your joy.
You can’t complain about your problems and listen to theirs.
You can’t hold hands and feel their heart beat.
You can’t see their eyes smile when you come into their view.”

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Jill Brewster February 12, 2021 - 1:32 am

I am so sorry for your loss. I know your pain in not being able to see her before her passing, or of being able to hold her hand, and give her that one last hug. I know this because I lost my Mother on December 20th. I knew she was declining, but I didn’t know it would happen before I was able to travel to see her that one last time. She seemed fine two days prior, and then didn’t want to eat her evening mean and by the next morning she was gone. I think the hardest part is knowing I will never be able to say “Mom, I love you” or hold her hand. I appreciate your post because it makes memories more important than regrets. Thank you again! Jill

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StitchinSweetSue February 12, 2021 - 1:33 am

So very sorry Sharon, sending my condolences. Wishing you peace, comfort and the love of family in the coming days…

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Deborah McCarthy February 12, 2021 - 9:15 pm

Nothing ever dies, it just changes form.
Rose is now EVERYWHERE!
I feel I know her already just from your loving words.
How else could I know that your roses brought a tear to her eye?
Such love is strong. Death is no match at all.

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Mary February 13, 2021 - 4:54 pm

May God be with you and comfort you in the coming year, as you experience all the “firsts” without your mother. I was able to be with my mother when she passed 12 years ago, but was living in Washington state when my father died rather suddenly in Indiana 2 years ago. There is that small feeling of guilt occasionally, that I wasn’t there, even though 2 of my siblings were, and did the best possible for him, but I needed to be here for my son and grandchildren. As time goes on, one remembers only the good memories, with fondness and appreciation. Your mother will always be a part of you, and live on in you.

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Pam February 15, 2021 - 10:45 pm

Dear Sharon

My heart goes out to you and your family during this sad time. Losing a mom that you are close to, but, living some distance apart was the hardest death that has touched me. My sisters and their husbands, along with my brother were there. So I am comforted by the fact that mom wasn’t alone.

Where I am comforted the most is by God’s word the Bible. It tells us what happens when someone passes away and where they are and what His promises are for these ones, therefore bringing us great comfort.

You were blessed by having a loving and special mom. Take time for yourself with your beautiful memories of a beautiful and special woman, your mom. xox

Pam

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pam February 17, 2021 - 7:42 pm

Dear Sharon,

I too lost my mother several years ago and it leaves an indelible hole in one’s heart. My father is still living but several hours away and with the pandemic I’ve not seen him for almost 9 months since the weather turned and we can no longer visit outdoors. It breaks my heart. But as it sounds like despite the miles and pandemic you made every interaction memorable and meaningful — every day is a gift. Your mother sounds like she had a life well lived and well loved. Thinking of you with kindness. Pam

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