I am British, my husband is French and our four children are born and raised in France. Here in Normandy we don’t have access to bilingual schools so any English input had to happen at home.
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me – “Really?! Shall we try that again … you fell in the playground and the teacher wiped your knee with a handkerchief? …. well that was kind of her”
Franglais had to be banned, it’s too easy to lapse into a mix of languages, using whichever word springs to mind first.
Today I can say they are perfectly bilingual, and able to pass themselves off as either English or French. Between them I have noticed that a funny set of codes has developed unnoticed. They generally speak to each other in the language being used around them, when alone together (can I say that?!) the boys use English and the girls mostly use English until they are on horseback then it is only French – go figure.
Being bilingual seems to be an advantage at school and professionally, but in those early years the main motivation was being able to communicate with both sides of the family.
In the anglo saxon world I read that there is less and less enthusiasm for learning foreign languages – this seems a shame to me. It’s not only about vocabulary and grammar, it’s also about opening up to a different culture, and in today’s world we surely need to do that more and more.
54 comments
From a spanish girl, writing in English in a french country home blog. Greetings. 🙂
https://selenaenlaproximaestacion.blogspot.com
I was interested to read this. My granddaughters spent 5 years in Paris and now live in Norway. The youngest was 6 when they left Paris and in order to retain her French language she was put in a French school in Norway. Now at nearly 10 she has started in the English system, and they employ a French tutor once a week to keep her up to scratch. Of course, Norwegian has now been added to the mix.
Interesting to note that in Malaysia once upon a time we were under British Rule thus speaking our official language Bahasa Melayu and English is common here. You have a beautiful and informative blog here and I enjoy looking at your seasonal pictures 🙂
We speak Australian and American in our home. Does that count? 🙂
I have been asked on more than one occasion if my son (Chicago born) speaks with an Australian accent (being around me, they weren't sure if he has picked up my accent). No, he's got an American accent.
I think it's cool that you raised your children to be bilingual!
We only speak English in our household. My son-in-law trys to incorporate some french words in conversation to the grandson. This little one is learning Spanish at school. We know some words but not enough to converse.
My cousin spoke 6 languages and they spoke Spanish at home. Their little one did not speak for a while because I don't think he knew which one to pick! But their children speak Spanish, English and Porteguese.
I learned French in high school and wish I would have gone on to learn and use it more in my daily life. But here in North Carolina and Florida it was not used very much!
You gave your family a very precious gift. di@Cottage-wishes
I wish we were bilingual. After all Canada has 2 official languages. All schoolkids learn French here, and we have the option of French immersion programmes, but mostly it is only in Quebec where French is spoken. There you have to speak it. In parts of the province people know English too but mostly it is French,. All signs are French in Quebec. All of our packaging is French and English so you would think it would have been easier to pick up.
I think it is so wonderful to have bilingual abilities.
That is so cute, about the dinner table episode with you 4 year old…..how wonderful that they are growing up with both languages!! My mom grew up speaking French with her both parents…how I wish that trend would have continued! So important for kids to speak a different language, one of my sons takes Spanish, another French and the other is taking Chinese!
Hi Sharon, I can certainly relate to this post! I also married a 'foreigner' an Afrikaans speaking South African. From the start I only spoke English to them, also correcting them along the way, just as you did, and my husband only spoke Afrikaans. Today they are fully bilingual and it's something we take for granted as a family. Around the table, they look at Papa and speak Afrikaans, and would then turn to me and speak in English. For guests this was quite unusual! They have embraced some elements of the Afrikaans culture and some of the English, but it seems to be a good mix and they feel equally at home with the Afrikaans people as they do with English speaking people. Thanks Sharon, I thought I was the only one! Have a lovely day. Sharon
We used to speak german in the family due to my bavarian ancestors, hungarian as native and learned english for my profession. My daughters attanded the austrian highschool in Budapest learned english as well.My son-in -law is austrian so we even do not recognize when mixing our conversation.My grandson is determindly growing up threelingual, german hungarian and later english too.I think our's is a typical Monachy family.Love your posts mostly hiting the actual events occuring to me too.Dorka from Hungary http://www.dorottyaudvar.co.hu
When I turned fifteen I suddenly had to learn a new language. My family has always taught the young ones German even though English was spoken all around them. It never confused them, they switched between two and more languages easily. Learning a foreign language is much easier when they are young and makes the world (for them) a much richer experience.
We speak Malayalam (language of Kerala the southern state of India)at home.At work it is English.Now that we are in Bangalore pursuing our career, I have had to learn Kannada but a smattering of Hindi comes handy when Kannada proves elusive.Interesting posts as always Sharon!
We are a bilingual family too and follow the same rule–english for Mama and french for Papa. The question facing us now is whether to put the little one in a bilingual school or a french one. Difficult to decide at this stage but I hope she'll grow up completely bilingual!
This is very interesting to me. I spent most of my time before first grade with my French Meme and we spoke mainly French. And the lapses from one language to another was a running joke. When I was very small I didn't quite understand the difference between languages. It was all talking to me so when I was at her house it was mainly en Francais. A big,burly Southern fireman that was a friend would bellow cheerfully,"Lysie, when you gonna teach that child English?" I have lost almost all of my French speaking skills and I wish that I had retained them enough to raise my children the same way.
You were very wise to do this. It is so much easier for children to learn both from infancy.
My mother was from a French father and an American (of French decent) mother, but my grandfather wouldn't let the children speak french because he said they were American and should speak "American". Mama only learned prayers and cuss words (she would sneak a peek at her father when he went to the basement to let off steam).
My daughter learned French at school from the age of 5, and as a young woman went to live in Switzerland where she soon had a rather decidedly Swiss accent – not the prettiest to the ear, but when she remembers she can speak more "Tours" than CH! Much nicer.
I admire you so much. In Texas our language is Spanish and with our population half Spanish i am so frustrated it's not taught until highschool. So our immigrants are bilingual and our citizens are at a disadvantage except English is universal. Still, I admire you.
This reminds me of a story our friends shared with us. The wife is Croatian and the husband Swiss. Since their children were born they, like your family, spoke one language with their mom and the other with their father. When the first born was old enough to go the playground and meet new friends on his own, he came home and excitedly told his parents, "I don't understand, the boys on the playground only know how to speak "mother" – how do they speak to the father?" Thought this was so cute. We have many friends whose children are bilingual and it's a great gift. I wish more people here were open to learning and using other languages.
This was very interesting, Sharon! Thank you for sharing it with us. It was especially interesting to hear what your children prefer to speak when "alone together". I was curious about how they feel about each language – whether they felt one language was particularly more expressive, for example, than the other – or easier to speak, or whatever reason made them "choose" one over the other when at home. This is fascinating to me. I only speak English, but have studied French and Spanish and find it a fun hobby.
What a marvelous adaptation!
You ought to be commended for keeping up the lessons and the practice and the encounters.
You need both spouses to support both languages! I could have spoken Italian to my children when they were little, but there was nobody else with whom to speak on a daily basis in Italian. I gave up.
You're right and your children will grow up to have so many more cultural opportunities than the average British child. It's a shame that more Brits (and Americans, Australians, Canadians, etc) aren't bilingual but I suppose that comes from speaking a language with such worldwide relevance. And perhaps from being influenced by the echos of colonialist mentality 😉
Your children have had the perfect incubator for learning two languages! Nothing is easier than to start off from infancy learning how to speak with others in the same household speaking the same two languages. I have been continuously studying french since 8th grade and when my daughter was born, I spoke french (although meagerly) often (bonjour, bonsoir, the numbers, colors, little things – bon appetit, etc.). I learned German when I spent a few years living and working there so I also integrated a little german in her early childhood. She then chose to study french in middle school, earned awards there as well as in her high school for her french ability. She has spent two different years in france – one studying and one teaching and after receiving her Master's Degree she has her own French Language School. I continue to study in one of her classes. I am so proud!
Mary in Oregon
We are a family of one language, sadly. My husband is American Italian and all he remembers are the curse words, sadly again. I would dearly love to learn French but don't see that happening…
I just found your blog & am enjoying reading back & back & back. Lovely glimpses of French living.
Love this post. I so desperately flunked french speaking while in Paris in 2010. I minored in it in college and have always kept up with it a bit, so I thought I was prepared. WRONG! I could speak it a little, but I could not understand a thing a Frenchman said..they just speak so fast!
It is great to teach your kids English, they will be so versatile!
Great parenting Sharon!
Nancy
Powellbrowerhome.com
We are a French and American couple and we do a lot of Franglais (but we don't have kids!)
I lived in Libya as a child and our next door neighbours were a couple with young children. Krystina spoke only Polish, her husband Arabic and English. The children grew up speaking Arabic with their father, Polish with their mother and English with us. I was ten and I always waited for them to make a mistake and talk to me in another language. Of course it never happened!
Wow that is amazing!
How wonderful for your children to be fluent in both english and french!
Good for you for sticking to this!
My children are english but learned french in school…but we all only speak english.
Deborah 🙂
Interesting article. As a Franco-American couple I've been considering what's the best way to raise bilingual children. Perhaps this is a question bête but what language do you use when mummy, papa, and child are in the same conversation? Do you use French or English?
You have given your children a most valuable gift!
Thank you for this lovely story! As a single mum from Australia with a now 6 year old she has had the great opportunity to study in Australia, NYC, Nigeria and now Paris – where she is enrolled in a full French school and loving her learning experience so much so that we're settling here for good. The joy of watching her slowly interact with her peers, first in silent giggled gestures and now in conversation is the most beautiful gift.
I agree with Chris, you have given your children and wonderful gift and it makes such a huge difference. Our household is multi-lingual. My Father-in-law is Greek, his mother speaks no English, and because of his schooling he also knows Latin. My son took Latin throughout school as well as Spanish because of our proximity to Mexico, it's not only courteous, it's practical! When that side of the family are here to visit, it is fun to watch – Our friends who live next to us, their parents only speak Spanish. So… one night recently, we all shared a meal, and stories into the wee hours – in three languages, but it all somehow seamlessly worked. My father in law speaking to his mother in Greek, interpreting to the table in English, my son interpreting to the Neighbors Parents from English to Spanish and for fun, conversing with my Father in Law in Latin. It was a riot.
I am taking Italian right now… another thing to add to the mix!
xoxo isa
This was a fascinating post. I had often wondered how it was in your worlds, and now I know.
Tres magnifique!
We speak English to each other at home, out in the world we speak Spanish ( miserably) and English if someone speaks English or wants to practice.
I have been known to use the French word instead of the Spanish, because my brain is exhausted.
I do enjoy walking through the stores or down the street and conversing with my husband and knowing most people don't know what we are saying.
My son speaks English, a bit of Spanish, a bit of French and is fluent in Japanese..
Very interesting article. I'm French, my partner Australian, we live in Sydney. We are planning on starting a family together in the next couple of years and the "language" topic is something of high importance to me. It has been SO HARD for me to become perfectly bilingual in English (12 years of study at school and 2+ years of stuggle in London after Uni) , I know how much efforts it is too learn a foreign language at school only or once you are adult (+ you keep your mother tongue accent). Hence I want to ensure my kids are brough up speaking both English and French. What worries me is that my partner doesn't speak French (only limited conversation or franglais), so if I speak to the kids in French only I'm worried it may cause troubles or frustrations between us. We often talk about it and it is something important to my partner too so hopefully it would be alright.
We only speak English – mores the pity. I remember those Ladybird reading books.
Our family is bilingual too. It's interesting that we were discussing this topic with our children this afternoon. Our children speak urdu at home and english at school. My daughter is also learning spanish and chinese. As you know what a wonderful gift to give to your children!
Sadly, I only speak English knowing only a few scattered words in some other languages…and a little Latin(if that even counts!)I would love to be bilingual or even multi! One of my dearest friend's father was a French Holocaust survivor that came to the US as a teen after he was released. She took years and years of French in high school and college anxious to be able to communicate with him in French. It was very disappointing after all those French classes that she and her father had a very difficult time understanding each other because of the differences in dialect!
We are a bilingual family: I am Italian, my husband is French and our two daughters speak both fluent Italian and French. We live in Normandy (Calvados) and since the girls are more exposed to French than Italian, French is definitely the predominant language. I have always spoken Italian to them and I will continue to do so which seems to work well in our household. I love languages, I also speak English, German and Spanish and I hope my daughters will love languages as well and become true citizens of this incredible world. Arrivederci on your great blog!
My dog is bi-lingual. 🙂 Funnily enough, anything that we speak to him about food is always in French. Between my French honey and my American self, we can be lazy–he speaks to me in his language and I often reply in my own. When we are out in public, it turns heads when we do that but we are used to it!
Bon Dimanche…
Thanks for posting this. Me and my husband have a son and he is now 8, well 9 in oct. We just got back home from a trip to Caen where we stayed, but we rented a car and drove to Bayeux and around. Well we had arranged to look at some houses. Because we are planning to move down there permanently in three years. So i`m trying to check out schools for my son, do you have any to recommend? Well he is learning english in school all ready but not french, so my goal now is for all three of us to learn french. It may be easier for my son if he can go to a french school? I will be so grateful for reply. Thanks:)
Our children grew up in (Flemish speaking) Belgium and your child's mixed-up sentence reminded me of when my husband asked our daughter about her day at school and she replied "Well, I left my springkoord on the vensterbank at speeltijd", leaving him utterly perplexed until I translated for him: "I left my skipping rope on the windowsill at playtime"!
Hi,
I live in Canada where French is our second lanquage. French class is taught in all our achools up to grade 9. In High School it is an option to carry on. It is not enough to be bilingual, but does give you the basics. We also have French Immersion schools where the students are fluent in both languages.
I think that saying that "Anglo-Saxon" countries do not want to speak foreign languages is a bit of painting us all with a tainted brush. There are many people in those "A.S." countries who do speak a second language. Even the nomenclature is a bit incorrect. Anglo-Saxon countries are not always Anglo-Saxon. In America there is a mix of many peoples, as true in Australia and Canada.With respect to our own language, people should learn to speak it correctly, too. But I am a fan of raising children to be bi-lingual; it certainly does open up experiences and opportunities for them later on.
interesting post…
We are from India(my family is)….as you know each region of India has its own language and there are around 13 national languages, out which I can speak hindi(the main national language and one of the three official languages) and bengali(my mother tongue) and english and we as a family are comfortable in all three..
And i have recently started learning french..!!
I chuckled at the experiences I recognise too – although we're all English-speaking at home the boys still come out with a lot of Franglais when reporting school experiences. I also chuckled at your French use of the phrase 'Anglo-Saxon' – I can see it upset at least one commenter but it's so commonly used here! I try not to use it with my students, and try to explain that to the average English person, at least, an Anglo-Saxon is someone who looks a bit like the Rohirim from Lord of the Rings!
Thank you for pointing this out FLoss, I certainly meant no offense with the phrase Anglo Saxon, that is how I would describe myself 🙂
I am an American of Spanish decent (all my family lives in Spain) married to an Italian. We taught our children multiple languages from birth using a similar method. I spoke strictly American English to my children, my husband spoke only Italian to them and our Mexican Nanny spoke only Spanish to them. A friend had done her Masters thesis on this subject and encouraged me to try it. Children relate to their parents in their parents languages. They knew if they wanted to communicate with Mommy they had to use Mommy's language. It worked. They are tri-lingual.
I wish I had read this eighteen years ago when my eldest daughter was born – I would have insisted my husband only speak Turkish to the children – I would have learnt to speak that language myself too. As it is, we understand much but speak none and relatives are always asking my husband why he didn't teach the children Turkish! His excuse is that he was always at work! I should have been more insistent although I suppose it's never too late so I have no excuse myself!
We did grow up bilingually, and then my mother insisted that each of us learn at least one more language. Most of us learned 2 or 3 more. I think it is so important to foster this in children today. Great post!
Wonderful article! I'm American, my husband is French and we live near Paris with our 2 year old son. I speak English with my son and my husband speaks French. At the moment, we're trying to decide if we should send him to a bilingual school or a French school.
I'm bilingual from birth, Catalan at home, Spanish on TV. At primary school I added French and when I was 8 we started to study English.
Great work on being able to teach your kids both languages.I speak English and French and creole fluently. My husband is Australian and my two kids are born and raised in Australia. I find it hard to teach my kids french at home, my son is already learning reading at prep,so this is what I am concentrating on and I feared that I will confuse him if I introduce another language,so I sort of gave up.Your article just re-ignited that urge to push myself further to give them both the gift of understanding both languages and culture.
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It is a Saturday night here in downtown Melbourne, it is cold and rainy and we are staying home for a change with a lovely glass of merlot and the fire lit. I am catching up on old posts i have missed and I am not sure if my reponse is too late for you to read? I love your posts and your life, your dogs and your wonderful brocante shopping style! And each time I visit, I smile and feel a little bit closer to a country I love and one day hope to reside in…hopefully partime!
My husband has a French connection, his mother was born in France but raised here. Of her 8 children two (inc my man!) went on to do Uni French and spent months in France perfecting the language. Maybe that is why I was drawn to him.. because I am a Francophile at heart! When we had our first child I suggested he speak French and I do the English..it did not work..c'est la vie. Of my three boys- the first gave up french in Yr 10, the 2nd is still learning french in yr 11 and I think will complete it in his final year, and my baby is starting french next year in Yr 7!
And me? I have just booked myself into a one month immersion in the L'institut de Francais for June 2013.. and I am soooooo excited!
We are a bilingual family as well and I worry that maybe the bilingual thing doesn't work that good with our daughter. I am Greek, my husband is Chilean and we live in Uruguay. I only speak to our 8-months' daughter in Greek and he in Spanish.
But except from being in a Spanish-language country and having all of my family in Greece, we speak in Spanish with my husband, as he doesn't speak Greek yet (he is learning though). The result is that she hears the Spanish language much more than the Greek one. In addition, when there are friends at home, I sometimes catch myself talking to her in Spanish, so that the rest can understand what I say!!
But I know that this is a mistake, isn't it? I should be more strict with myself so that I don't loose any opportunity for her to hear her mother's language… Or maybe I shouldn't worry that much?…
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